DEAR HARRIETTE: My father does not like the guys I date usually, but he especially does not like my current boyfriend because he is black. I have dated all kinds of guys, but my dad has made it abundantly clear that he does not want to get to know this one. I would not say that my dad is prejudiced, because he seems to be very nice to other black people, but I think it is more that he doesn't want me, his daughter, to date an African-American. What should I do? It makes my boyfriend uncomfortable to be around my dad. -- Pleasing My Dad, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR PLEASING MY DAD: Prejudice is a tricky thing. In theory, people can seem to be either tolerant or even embracing of those who are dissimilar from them. When it comes to a personal situation though, it can be totally different. There is a chance that your father does have some prejudice as it relates to your boyfriend being black. There is also the possibility that he may not realize he harbors any prejudice if it is indeed true.

I would be careful not to be so quick to make that judgment. Unless your father has essentially said as much to you, you may want to consider if there is any other reason that he may not like your boyfriend. When they met, did something happen that could have turned him off? Has your boyfriend ever mistreated you, that your father is aware of? Review your relationship with your boyfriend and the interactions between your father and him.

Go one step further and approach your father about this. Ask him why he is refusing to get to know your boyfriend. Remind him of how valuable you consider his opinion. Ask him if his dislike is because your boyfriend is black. Do your best to discuss the situation fully with him. If your father is being unknowingly prejudiced, he may be willing to reconsider his position if you present it in a way that he can hear.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my siblings recently lost their jobs. We are very close, so I have done my best to support them through this tough period. It is getting hard on me, though. I have a good job, but I also have a family to care for. I have been giving my siblings money almost every month to help them get by, but I realize that I am going to have to stop. I do not want to desert them, but I'm at my limit. How can I break the news to them without creating a greater burden? -- Stretched Too Thin, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR STRETCHED TOO THIN: Be direct with your siblings, and tell them that you will have to stop supplementing them. This does not mean, however, that you have to stop helping them in other ways. Make sure that they are signed up for unemployment insurance. If they were fired from their jobs, they should be eligible for that. Encourage them to dust off their resumes and actively look for work. Do your best to inspire them to take action.

If they lash out at you, stand your ground. Restate your limitations as you also express your love for them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate and I wanted to get a dog together because our apartment was lonely. We ended up getting a cute little sheepdog, but I am allergic to him. He is so cute, and I do not want to get rid of him, but my allergies are killing me. I feel that it isn't fair to my roommate to not have a dog just because of me. I have started on an over-the-counter allergy regimen, which helps a little, but I don't know how long I can go always waking up stuffy. -- Allergic, Shreveport, La.

DEAR ALLERGIC: Too bad you did not realize you were allergic from the start. Since you agreed to get the dog, it is best for you to do all you can to figure out if you can cohabitate with it. Start by going to a doctor. There may be something more potent than over-the-counter allergy medication that can help you.

You and your roommate should also be vigilant about vacuuming and dusting. Sheepdogs have long hair that sheds. Do your best to limit the amount of dander that lingers in the air. To achieve that, you have to clean constantly. You should keep your bedroom off-limits to the dog. Close the door. Let your roommate know that the dog can never enter your room. You can also limit how much you touch the dog. You can be kind and loving without petting, even though it may seem hard to do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is dating my ex-girlfriend, and while I told him it was OK and that it didn't bother me, it does. I don't have feelings for her or anything, but I feel odd knowing that my little brother is dating her. They look happy together, and I do not want to say anything to my brother that will upset him or make him break up with her just because of me. -- Misgivings, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MISGIVINGS: It is only natural for it to be tough for someone you love to date someone you once dated, especially if you and the former girlfriend were close. On the one hand, it was big of you to give your brother permission to date her. Even more, it was respectful of your brother to ask you. Still, that doesn't change the reality that you are dealing with today.

Seeing their relationship play out in real life would have to be difficult, at least at first. I do not think you should say anything to your brother. Instead, live your life. If you are dating someone, focus your energy on that relationship rather than your brother's. If you are not, go about your daily activities with gusto. Stay in the moment and resist obsessing over what your brother and she are doing.

Be kind and cordial to her when she is around. Decide that you will be able to accept them as a couple. Over time, with that intention, you should be able to make that happen.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I really like this girl at my internship; however, I don't think I can fulfill her expectations. Her parents are extremely rich, she went to private school all her life and status-wise she is better than I am. I, on the other hand, went to public school. My parents are divorced and working-class. Should I even try to ask her out? Frankly, I think she is out of my league. -- Skittish, Syracuse

DEAR SKITTISH: Socioeconomic status can be a deterrent in a relationship, but it is not a given. What is important is for you to realize your value. You stated, "Status-wise she is better than I am." That is a dangerous thought. She may have more wealth than you, but I caution you to not compare yourself with her and believe that she is better than you. People have all kinds of experiences. Having wealth does not automatically make someone "better" than another.

If you like this young lady, what is the harm in letting her know? Invite her to do something that you can afford to do. Relax and just be with her. Get to know each other. Be honest about who you are. If she is interested in you despite your differences, continue to get to know her better.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who left her college recently because she could not afford it. She is now working retail. Whenever I call her or send her a Facebook message, she never replies to me. I never thought about this until a mutual friend of ours suggested it: she might be embarrassed that she is not in school while all of her friends are. What should I do to at least get in contact with her? Every time I try to surprise her at work, she is not there. -- Worried Friend, Detroit

DEAR WORRIED FRIEND: It is possible that your friend is embarrassed about having to leave college. It is also possible that she is ducking you and your mutual friends because she does not know how to handle this transition.

Unfortunately, stalking your friend is not likely to bring you favorable results. You can and should continue to reach out to your friend. Let her know that you miss her and want to get together with her when she is available. I do not recommend attempting to visit her at work, though. Though well-meaning, your overtures at her workplace could backfire for her. Her boss may not appreciate friends coming by to see her whether she is there or not.

Your friend may need time to lick her wounds and get into the groove of her new reality. Time may help her to open her eyes and see that she still loves and misses her friends. Stick with it.