DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student who has started at a new job recently, and I really love it. However, I have a problem. At first I didn't notice it, but now I realize that my boss is hitting on me. When it started, the things he did seemed like simple nice gestures, which I thought nothing of, but now it is obvious. I am at a loss. Recently, he asked me out, and I don't really know what I should do. He is nice, and he is not some creepy old man -- he is 26, and I am 20. My friends say I should report him, but I don't want to lose this great job, and he seems like a nice guy. -- Confronted, Denver

DEAR CONFRONTED: Rather than report him, speak to your boss directly. I know it can seem difficult to stand up to an adult, but I recommend that you ask him if you can have a moment of his time. Then, tell him you are flattered that he wants to go out with you, but that you want to keep your relationship strictly professional. Tell him that you hope he understands. Tell him that you love your job and appreciate the opportunity to work there. Tell him that you are not interested in dating the boss.

By speaking to him directly, you may be able to squash the situation. If, however, you feel that there will be repercussions, go to human resources and explain what has occurred and what your concerns are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am graduating college next year, and I have no idea what I want to do exactly. I have a general idea that I want to do something with law. For some reason, my dad seems to always make me feel bad for not having a plan mapped out. While I understand where he is coming from, it makes me feel like because I do not have this clear plan of my life already made, I am setting myself up for failure. I try to avoid these conversations with my father, but it is hard.

The one good thing is that my mother is very supportive and pretty patient in terms of letting me figure it out for myself. She is more of a "live life in the present" kind of person, whereas my dad is a future-thinking kind of guy. What should I do? This issue is putting a damper on our relationship to the point where I don't want to spend time with him at all. It is driving me crazy. -- Undecided, Boston

DEAR UNDECIDED: Do not get distracted by your parents. It is time for you to map out a plan for your life. It does not have to be the be-all and end-all plan. But you do need to take steps to make yourself employable. Talk to a career counselor about employment options and continuing your education. An advanced degree in an area of your choice could be a way to buy time before going into the workplace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are divorced, and I am somewhat close to my father, but he is getting on my nerves. I hate going to visit him. For the past two years, he has been angry and grumpy all the time. He and his wife argue all the time, and it drives me crazy -- it is always over stupid things, and he always starts the arguments. Sometimes he snaps at me, and, frankly, whenever I go to visit them, I am happy when he is at work. I don't want to keep visiting if this is going to keep happening. What can I do? -- Uncomfortable Daughter, New Haven, Conn.

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE DAUGHTER: Step back for a moment. Reflect on what has been going on in the past two years. Did your father's work change? Did his wife's? Is anyone ill in the family? Usually, if there is a dramatic change in someone's behavior, it is precipitated by something.

You can ask your father if he is OK. Tell him you have noticed that he seems to be in a bad mood a lot. Ask if wants to talk about it. Tell him you love him but that it is sometimes hard for you to be around him because he and his wife are often arguing and unhappy.

When you have a chance to speak to your father privately, let him know that you want to support him in any way you can, and ask him to be there for you, too. Your conversation with him may help him to see his behavior. Very often, when people are in the throes of emotional challenge, they do not realize how they are acting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend since my freshman year of college, and while he is a wonderful guy and all, I find myself having feelings for his best friend. My boyfriend is a year older than I am, and he graduated this summer. He is going away to law school. His best friend and I are the same age, and he will be staying at his university, which is close by, so we will probably hang out more than before. I feel guilty for having these feelings, but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend. What do I do? -- Torn, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TORN: Have you ever heard of the concept of "first things first"? Before even considering dating anyone else, particularly your boyfriend's best friend, figure out what you want. You say you don't want to break up with your boyfriend. Why? What do you like about your relationship? Figure out if your bond is worth holding onto. If so, resist the temptation of pursuing anything with his friend. If you are unsure about the bond, deal with it. Break up if that feels right. Only if you are available should you attempt to date anyone. Think before you make the choice to date his best friend, though. It is likely that such a union will just end up hurting everyone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last night, my 3-year-old nephew asked me to get him a cup of water. When I gave him the cup, he called me Daddy. That was the first time my nephew ever called me Daddy. I was a little puzzled by his response, because my nephew knows who his dad is. I explained to him that I am his uncle. After a few mistakes, my nephew finally called me by my name. I spend a lot of time with my sister's children, and I am the most visible male figure in their lives. How can I ensure the proper boundaries between the children's father and myself? -- Family Man, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR FAMILY MAN: Clearly, your nephew views you in a fatherly role. It is likely that you are more attentive than his father. It is also smart that you addressed it -- especially if his father is a part of his life. You do not want to create any confusion, even if it comes without ill intentions.

Since your nephew is so young, you may want to refer to yourself in the third person for a while. Instead of saying, "I want to take you to the park today," you can say, "Uncle (first name) wants to take you to the park today." Keep up the third-person reference so he can reflect on what you are calling yourself. That should help.

Meanwhile, be aware of the close bond that you have with your nephew, and remind him of the importance of family. Make sure he knows how much you love him and that you will always be his family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am thinking about changing my college minor from communications to sports management. I am a little nervous because my college has more classes in communications than in sports management. I told my friends that I am thinking about changing my minor, and they're telling me that I should play it safe and stick with communications because I can make a lot of money in that field. However, my heart is really pulling me toward the sports management program. What should I do? Should I play it safe, or should I follow my heart? -- Student, Chicago

DEAR STUDENT: Your friends cannot live your life for you, so be careful not to give their advice too much weight. Instead, go to your guidance counselor to talk through your career options as they relate to your studies. Review your options carefully so that you are as clear as possible about what you will be able to learn at school to support your interests.

Don't stop with school, though. Internships are key for most people as they develop their career plans. Identify sports management companies in your area that offer internships to students. Find out if you can get college credit in exchange for the experience. If this is your passion, do everything possible to get into the field.