DEAR HARRIETTE: I really want to have a child, but my doctor told me that soon I will be in the danger zone, agewise. I am not in a relationship right now. My doctor says I need to find someone who will help me to have a child -- or else. I am very active in my church, and I know that my pastor will not look favorably on me if I have a child without being married. It goes against my religious beliefs. What can I do? -- Pleasing in Your Sight, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR PLEASING: Schedule a meeting with your pastor to talk about your situation. Find out what your church's stance is about a sperm donor. There may be some leeway in using medical technology because you will not have violated the vow to not have sex before marriage. Find out.

Although it's clear that you want to give birth to a child, you do have the option of adopting. In that way you can remain true to your religious convictions and still have the privilege of shepherding a child through the world.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My macroeconomics teacher is an intelligent woman who knows a lot about the economy and clearly has a passion for it, which I respect. However, she is teaching a one-sided position only, and all our outside readings are opinionated articles that are left-leaning. Writing about the articles makes me feel like I am being brainwashed into believing different opinions than my own. My teacher does not even provide an alternative or other argument to these topics, which is frustrating. I did my own research after I had turned in my paper, and I want to address this with her. What should I do? -- Standing My Ground, New York City

DEAR STANDING MY GROUND: The ideal educational experience is a well-rounded one where students are presented with wisdom from different points of view by an objective teacher. I'm sorry that your teacher did not follow that protocol.

I recommend that you send a formal note to your teacher describing your disappointment that you were not exposed to a range of thinking on the topics that were being taught. You can explain that you subsequently read other perspectives and wished you had had the opportunity to consider all points of view in class. I would also send a note to the department head and/or guidance counselor with the intention of learning about curriculum protocol. It would be helpful for you to know if it's standard for your school to allow teachers to teach one perspective or if it is more common for them to be objective instructors.

In the future, if you have questions about what any of your instructors is teaching you, speak up and schedule an appointment to discuss your questions or concerns or send an email. Typically, educators appreciate interacting with their students.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for about a year and a half, and my husband and I are having problems regarding finances. I make more money -- at least $100,000 more -- than my husband, and I think it bothers him a little. I am an orthopedic surgeon, and he is a general practitioner. While we were dating, it never seemed to bother him as much. Now he is grumpy and angry all the time, and I don't know what to do. It is not my fault that I happen to make more; it is just how it happens to work out. What do I do? -- Off-Balance, Atlanta

DEAR OFF-BALANCE: Do you and your husband have a family budget? Perhaps if you create a budget that includes your vision for your future, you can shift the focus from who is bringing in what amount to what your combined resources can be used to create together.

Talk about your hopes and dreams and strategize about how to make them manifest. Decide how much money will go into what account in order to build toward a particular goal. Perhaps you can both put the same amount into that pot so you are contributing evenly.

Over time, many couples' incomes change. Today you are the principal breadwinner. That may not be the case in the future. If you look at your life as a whole, you stand a greater chance of creating harmony in your marriage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have found that raising children is very difficult -- my wife and I have one child already. However, my wife wants another one. Though I love my daughter, I realize I don't really like raising children. My wife and I both work, and since we work at different times, we have to take turns watching her. Our daughter is at an age now where I can play with her and she talks (she is 5), and I love that, but I do not think I can do it again. For me, one child is enough. -- No More, Chicago

DEAR NO MORE: You and your wife need to talk about your feelings and your shared expectations surrounding children. It is also wise to talk about how you are feeling right now.

It may come as good news that after age 5, many children are able to exercise a bit of independence. In other words, it gets easier to care for them. When you begin to experience the pressure lessening, you may feel differently about having another child. Of course, if you do have another, you will have the approximate five-year period of intense engagement again.

That could be fine, too, if you get some extra help. A regular baby sitter can be invaluable. Enlisting family support or that of trustworthy friends and neighbors can ease your stress.

Or you may truly be done with having children. Explore all options with your wife, and decide on what is next for your family -- together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 20-year-old guy, and I have been seeing a girl at my university for about three weeks. I really like her because she is funny, sweet and the girl you would want to take home to meet your mother.

Is it too early to have sex? I don't mind waiting until we get to know each other better. I know that many say if you have sex too early, it can ruin a relationship, but on the other hand, it could also lead to a much more intimate connection. How should I approach this? -- Careful, Philadelphia

DEAR CAREFUL: Thank you for being so thoughtful. At your age, it is natural to want to be sexually involved with someone you like. Just on a physical level, your hormones are wide-awake! The challenge is that if you really want to build a relationship with this young lady, it is wise to take it slow. Get to know each other. Spend time together. Learn about what values you share and what interests may be new to you. Do things together that help you to find out if you are compatible. You can even be intimate -- slowly -- without going all the way, so to speak. Take your time.

When you feel you are getting close to ready, talk about it directly. Discover your feelings about sexual intercourse. Learn whether she is a virgin. If not, learn about her dating history as you share yours. Baby steps can lead to a long-lasting embrace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in an awkward situation. My two best friends were dating each other, but they have recently broken up. Both of my friends have told me separately what they feel was a problem in the relationship that led to the breakup. Now it seems that they want me to pick sides. I don't want to do this because they are both my friends and no matter who was wrong or right, I want them to know I am here for them. Still, I don't want either of them to be mad at me. Please help! -- In the Middle, Washington, D.C.

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Do not take the bait! You cannot win by taking sides, no matter what they tell you. Refuse when they attempt to get you to choose between them. Directly say that you are not willing to get in the middle of their personal business. Tell them that you love each of them and hope to remain friends with them.

Because you are friends with both of them, you may also want to recommend that they do their emotional brain-dump with someone else. If you are not listening to their whining, regardless of how legitimate it may be, it will be easier for you to remain neutral. Stand your ground. This will not be easy.