DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 20-year-old guy, and I have been seeing a girl at my university for about three weeks. I really like her because she is funny, sweet and the girl you would want to take home to meet your mother.

Is it too early to have sex? I don't mind waiting until we get to know each other better. I know that many say if you have sex too early, it can ruin a relationship, but on the other hand, it could also lead to a much more intimate connection. How should I approach this? -- Careful, Philadelphia

DEAR CAREFUL: Thank you for being so thoughtful. At your age, it is natural to want to be sexually involved with someone you like. Just on a physical level, your hormones are wide-awake! The challenge is that if you really want to build a relationship with this young lady, it is wise to take it slow. Get to know each other. Spend time together. Learn about what values you share and what interests may be new to you. Do things together that help you to find out if you are compatible. You can even be intimate -- slowly -- without going all the way, so to speak. Take your time.

When you feel you are getting close to ready, talk about it directly. Discover your feelings about sexual intercourse. Learn whether she is a virgin. If not, learn about her dating history as you share yours. Baby steps can lead to a long-lasting embrace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in an awkward situation. My two best friends were dating each other, but they have recently broken up. Both of my friends have told me separately what they feel was a problem in the relationship that led to the breakup. Now it seems that they want me to pick sides. I don't want to do this because they are both my friends and no matter who was wrong or right, I want them to know I am here for them. Still, I don't want either of them to be mad at me. Please help! -- In the Middle, Washington, D.C.

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Do not take the bait! You cannot win by taking sides, no matter what they tell you. Refuse when they attempt to get you to choose between them. Directly say that you are not willing to get in the middle of their personal business. Tell them that you love each of them and hope to remain friends with them.

Because you are friends with both of them, you may also want to recommend that they do their emotional brain-dump with someone else. If you are not listening to their whining, regardless of how legitimate it may be, it will be easier for you to remain neutral. Stand your ground. This will not be easy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in college, and I am in a relationship with a great guy. However, there is one huge problem: He is a Mormon, and he wants me to become a Mormon as well. I have always respected him and his beliefs because I love him, but I do not want to convert. Deep down I find the religion somewhat comical. How do I tell him that I do not want to convert? I am afraid it can ruin the relationship, and I fear that this will cause us to break up. -- Not Religious, Boston

DEAR NOT RELIGIOUS: As you contemplate your next steps, it is very important for you to be respectful of your boyfriend's religion. Right now you are being judgmental, which is a surefire way to end your relationship.

I can tell you that many people who are deeply religious strongly urge their partners to convert to their religion. There is merit in that -- it's easier to build a family with shared values. Though you are in college, since you are getting serious with this young man you need to consider what you want your future to look like. What are your values? What is important to you in a relationship? As you think of family? As you consider how you want to live your life, talk to your boyfriend about it. Whether he ends up being the one or not, it is smart for you to be open and honest about who you are and what matters to you.

Ask him about his beliefs. Get him to talk to you about his religion, what he believes and why. Without judgment, listen to see if there is common ground.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends is really close with a girl I hate. She is inconsiderate, obnoxious and condescending. Everyone else who is also friends with my best friend cannot stand this friend either. Recently, my best friend asked why I always avoid activities when we are in a group setting. I don't know how to tell her that I want to avoid this girl. I don't want to hurt my best friend's feelings. How do I deal with this situation? -- Alienated, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR ALIENATED: Why not tell your friend the truth? She may not realize how uncomfortable you and other friends are because of that other person's behavior. Let her know that you do not like being in this person's company because it of her attitude.

I would like to take this a step further and suggest that there is no reason why you cannot speak directly to this other person. What you are now doing is bottling up negative energy about her. Saying that you "hate" her is strong. Let go of the hate, and empower yourself by speaking up to her the next time she says something inappropriate or insulting. Ask her to stop with the disparaging comments or keep her distance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I work for companies that require us to travel 85 percent of the year, and we rarely see each other. Last week I saw my wife a total of five hours. We are feeling the strain of not being together, and I am looking for solutions. What are some ways my wife and I can maximize our moments together? -- On the Road Again, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR ON THE ROAD AGAIN: You and your wife need to get organized. Review your schedule for the next three months. Write down everywhere you know you will be, including when you both will be at home. Figure out if you can visit each other at any of your business stops along the way. Schedule phone calls and Skype times so you are sure to communicate every day. By all means, schedule a vacation when you can be together without the pressure of work.

Looking at the big picture, determine together how long you believe you can live with this extreme travel schedule. Some couples are able to manage for years. Others buckle under the pressure of not being together very often. You two will have to figure out how well you are managing with so much time apart. Check in regularly to ensure that you both continue to be comfortable with the decisions that you make.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I received a phone call from a former business partner a few weeks ago. He is interested in having me work with him on a project that has the potential to be very lucrative. The offer sounds interesting, but I have some major reservations about working with him again. My friend told me to give him call in two weeks with an answer, and I am planning to decline his offer. I am worried that our relationship as friends will be strained because of my declining the offer. How can I make sure our friendship will be undamaged? -- Unfriended, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR UNFRIENDED: Business is business. Speak to your friend directly about your decision not to work on the project with him. Be clear that you do not want to work on this project and out of respect for him you want to let him know right away. Thank him for extending the invitation to you.

You can never control how people will respond to you. You can improve your chances of having a positive outcome, though, by being forthright and kind as you communicate with him. Tell him you value your relationship too much to be indecisive, and this particular project is not right for you at this time. If he has a problem with that or tries to persuade you further, stick to your decision. If you can think of someone to refer him to who may be interested, do that. But do not give in. Trust your instincts. Time will tell whether he gets over it or not.