DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for about five months. He works from 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. I've been friends with his brother for five years and with his sister-in-law for 20 years. His brother and I almost dated a few years ago, and his sister-in-law and my boyfriend dated in the past. Every time I go over to their house to hang out with them while he's at work, he seems to get upset about it. They have children around my daughter's age, so she can play with her friends. I've asked him what his problem is with me going over when he's at work, and he said he doesn't have a problem with it. I don't go over when he's home because I want us to have alone time then. I'm not sure whether to see them anymore or not. -- Torn, Shreveport, La.

DEAR TORN: It sounds like your combined relationships with your boyfriend's family are layered, to say the least. Your boyfriend may consciously or even unconsciously be a bit concerned that you being at their home without him may lead to some kind of intimacy. Is that a fair concern? Who knows?

Out of respect for him, you should honor his wishes and not go over there right now. Instead, go with him the next time you are together. Even though it seems counterintuitive, it isn't. Give up a little alone time to spend as a family with your daughter and all of them. Let your boyfriend get comfortable around everyone. Once he feels at ease, he may change his mind about being OK with you going there without him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just read your response to "I Am Not Even Hungry." Although the response was "sensible," I suggest that you investigate the 12-step program Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous.

For those of us who have experienced compulsive eating, it has been the answer to our prayers.

If possible, the best use of your time would be to attend a meeting. There are no fees, weigh-ins or sign-ins, only a request for your first name so we may welcome you.

In the future, we hope you will want to include our website, foodaddicts.org, along with the recommendation to see a doctor. -- In the Know, Ann Arbor, Mich.

DEAR IN THE KNOW: Thank you very much for sharing information on dealing with food addiction. You are absolutely right that 12-step programs can be amazing supports to people who are struggling with a range of addictions. This is true for people with other eating disorders as well.

I hope that anyone who is reading this who is struggling with a food addiction would reach out for help right away. It is possible to beat this illness. Getting help is essential.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am becoming increasingly lazy. I rarely exercise, and I have lost my motivation to do so. I worry that I will start to get really out of shape. Despite my awareness, I have trouble getting myself up and out to try and stay fit. Other people I know belong to gyms or have personal trainers to motivate them, but I have neither. How can I start a fitness regimen that I will be interested in maintaining? I want to look my best for beach season! -- Fearing the Flab, Bayonne, N.J.

DEAR FEARING THE FLAB: Your first step is to commit to fitness. Next, make a plan that you can do at home. Quite a few cable channels feature exercise programs in the morning. You can follow along with the teacher on such a show to ensure that you are doing the moves correctly and reduce the chance of injury. You can also purchase exercise DVDs at many stores or online. With the support of a virtual teacher, commit to exercising at least three days a week.

Give yourself time benchmarks that will help you stay the course. For example, if you know you are going to the beach on a particular date, mark that on the calendar to help you keep your focus.

If you have a friend in your neighborhood who is also interested in getting fit, you can find out of he or she would like to buddy up with you to walk several days a week as well. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am supposed to speak at my class's graduation, and I don't know where to start. I have written down a speech with various ideas, but I am nervous about them being in a jumble and about my speech not having an impact. I mean, I am not worried about messing up because people will forget about it in a few weeks -- but I am not sure I want people to forget about the speech! I want it to have an important enough impact for them to remember it, but I am not particularly philosophical or profound. I also want it to be light enough for people to laugh. Where do I start? -- Stage Fright, Philadelphia

DEAR STAGE FRIGHT: Start by thinking about the big message you want to share with your class. What stands out for you as emblematic of the class? What are your class strengths? Do your best to remember funny stories and moving moments that you can use to reflect on your time together.

Write an outline for your speech just as you used to do in English class. Build out your thoughts in an organized manner. Sprinkle in humor throughout while maintaining the tenor of the core theme you want to convey. As you write your speech, stick to your outline. Then read it out loud a few times to see if it works as a spoken piece. Ask someone you trust to listen to you to help you edit and refine.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The other night my friend's boyfriend was hospitalized under very mysterious circumstances. They were together for most of the evening and everything was fine, but 30 minutes after she left she received a text saying he was in an ambulance. He was texting people and coherent while there, but when she demanded to know what was wrong he said, "I'm fine, don't worry" and neglected to answer any further texts. Rumors were flying that it was "severe abdominal pain," but not even his friends know what was wrong. He was back home the next morning. He is still avoiding any questions regarding the incident. She is really worried that there is something wrong because now he is being strange and avoiding her. How can she help him or figure out what the problem is without making him withdraw further? -- Worried, Sleepy Hollow, N.Y.

DEAR WORRIED: Unfortunately, your friend cannot force her boyfriend to reveal his health status. It is his personal business. Pestering him will never work. Instead, she should remain supportive and give him his space if that is what he needs right now.

If they are physically intimate, she may want to withdraw from that part of their relationship until he shares what is going on. When he asks why she is refusing him, she can say that she is concerned about his health and wants to know that everything is OK before crossing that line again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How can I improve my organizational skills? I am going away to school next year, and up to this point in my life I have had serious issues with procrastinating. I tend to do my best work under last-minute pressure, but it doesn't leave much space to get outside advice. Also, if I have a lot of projects at once, it tends to get very stressful. For some reason I have a mental aversion toward scheduling or doing things in advance. How can I help myself with these problems? -- Trouble with Time, Boston

DEAR TROUBLE WITH TIME: I am a big believer in lists. I write down in numbered lists all of the tasks and responsibilities that I have on a daily basis. Throughout the day, I check back to see if I have fulfilled the items on my list. When I do that, I am better able to keep track of my obligations.

This also makes it easy to avoid missing deadlines or other important tasks. I highly recommend that you look at your schedule and map out a plan for success. You can do this by listing the tiny steps that lead up to the big steps. It can be daunting to look at the big picture alone. Breaking your responsibilities down into manageable parts will help you to build a ladder to success.