DEAR HARRIETTE: It is the end of the school year, and my son has had a lot of issues with his teacher. We have addressed them along the way, and we have learned that other parents had issues, too. The primary problem is that the teacher can be really condescending to the students. While he is a good teacher in terms of sharing a powerful curriculum, he is not good at boosting their confidence. I feel bad for the struggles my son's class had. Now it's over. I think I should say something to a higher-up so there's a chance it can be addressed formally before the next class comes in. What do you think? -- Concerned Mom, Dallas

DEAR CONCERNED MOM: I think you should definitely speak to the leadership at the school, especially if you have addressed your concerns with the teacher but believe the problems are still lingering. Just as students learn thanks to constructive feedback, so do adults, including teachers.

I recommend that you frame your thoughts carefully. To the best of your ability, do not go to the meeting emotionally charged. Think about what the experiences have been over the year. Outline what your child has experienced and what you have observed, not hearsay. Paint a picture of the year and outline your specific concerns. Let the administrator know the impact you think this teacher's behavior had on your child and on the class. Add what you hope the improvements could be in the future.

As it relates to the condescending tone of the teacher, give examples of what you have observed and how you think the behavior may have affected the children. Perhaps your input will lead to support for the teacher to work on this area.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am totally freaked out. One of my main clients has not paid my company in several months, and I fear that I am not going to be able to make payroll soon. I have been doing everything in my power to make up for this owed money, but my reserves have become too thin. How long do I wait before I let my staff know that things are bad? I keep hoping that I can keep it all together, but I don't know anymore. I don't want to lay off anyone yet, but I may not have enough for paychecks. What should I do? -- On the Brink, Seattle

DEAR ON THE BRINK: It is time to figure out your immediate next steps. If you think you will not be able to make payroll now, let your staff know. They have bills and responsibilities and will need to respond accordingly. As you look at the big picture, if you cannot see how you can afford to keep everyone on your staff, think about your options. It may be better to lay off personnel as you shore up your resources. That way they can collect unemployment insurance and take realistic steps to care for themselves. Leaving people in limbo is unkind and not good for your business.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am feeling overwhelmed. I have so much to do that it seems almost pointless to try to do anything. I am weighed down by piles of debt. My home is in disarray. My income is spotty, and my friends are tired of hearing me complain. Recently, I have taken to my bed. I just go to sleep in the middle of the day to shut it all out. I know this is not good. What can I do to turn myself around? -- Afraid, Racine, Mich.

DEAR AFRAID: Thank you for revealing your state. I'm sure it took a lot to state where you are right now. It can seem overwhelming when so much is standing in your way. Yet it is possible to get to a better place.

Start by making a list. You can write topics to organize your list. For example, one topic is bills, another is home, another is personal. Under each, write what needs to get done. Figure out tiny tasks that lead to fulfilling each goal. You can list each creditor you owe on a separate line. Then contact each one to say that you need extra time to pay your bills, and ask for mercy. In your home, list each room or area that needs your attention. Choose a day to work on one thing at a time. If you approach each task as one thing to do rather than the whole job to be done, you make your work more manageable.

By the way, taking a nap is OK. Schedule that, too. Just remember to schedule getting up, moving your body and completing at least one task on your list each day.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a crush on my college professor, and it is driving me crazy. He is so smart and cute, and I just want him to like me as more than his student. I know this probably sounds crazy, but whenever I see him, I can hardly contain myself. He is single, so I'm not trying to date a married man or anything. I am not trying to get him to give me a better grade either. We are both of consenting age. He hasn't let on that he likes me or anything, but school is almost out, and I want to let him know that I like him. As long as I don't take his class anymore, isn't it OK to date him? -- Teacher Crazy, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TEACHER CRAZY: Take a deep breath and calm down. Your hormones have definitely kicked in. The good news is that your teacher is single. The not-so-good news is that you are sounding a bit out of control.

Here's what I recommend: Do nothing yet. Get your grade, and have your class finished completely. Do not reach out to him this summer. Live your life. Do whatever you were going to do during the summer. When you see your former professor in the fall, if you still have feelings for him, ask him if you can talk offline. You can tell him of your interest and see if it is mutual. Depending upon your school's dating policies, and his own, you may or may not be able to pursue this further. Be willing to accept what he suggests.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The person writing in about wanting money for graduation instead of gifts, etc., was from Jackson, Miss. She should be aware that some stores now offer "graduation registries," which are similar to bridal registries. She can go to those stores and select her preferences, then mention where she is registered to those she thinks might want to give her a gift. -- Aware, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: You missed a good opportunity to teach the graduate that gifts are not to be solicited, expected or dictated. It was presumptuous for that college-bound teen to expect gifts and request money! "Congratulations" is all that is expected from well-wishers, and gifts they bestow are extras, according to etiquette experts. Asking for money -- or anything else -- is in bad taste.

If someone asks the grad what she'd like for a gift, the polite response should be, "I would appreciate anything you think I could use when I start my school year away from home." If pressed for an answer, it is OK to tactfully suggest a gift card.

That student and her parents should not be involved in shaking down anyone for cash! The student should wait to decorate the dorm room until after she sees it and has met her roommate anyway. She should find ways to earn some cash over the summer so money will be available to spend as desired. Some well-wishers may be able to send only a nice congratulatory card, which is all that's required in polite society. Dictating a gift is never appropriate! -- Old School, Chicago

DEAR AWARE AND OLD SCHOOL: I have included both of your letters because they illustrate the broad spectrum of thought on the sensitive topic of gifting and graduation. As an etiquette expert who pays attention to the current trends, I will address your various points.

Starting with the idea of a gift registry, it is true that some families make this choice -- much like a wedding registry -- to make it easy for loved ones to spend money wisely if they choose to buy the graduate a gift. I would venture to say that this type of setup works when you are having a big party or other gathering where you expect many people will want to provide a gift. Even so, do not list the registry on your invitation. When guests ask what the graduate wants, you can direct them to the site.

That said, I agree that no one should demand or shake one down for gifts, nor did I recommend that previously. I think it is OK to answer a direct question from someone you know and love about what you might want for graduation. When asked, a parent or the graduate can say what is desired. It would be inappropriate to ask for a lavish gift. But if asked, you can talk about your plans and say that you would appreciate support in making that plan manifest. Of course, a card is a perfect gift. But if someone asks, that suggests that the person wants to do more than a card.