DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother and I are hosting lunch at our house in celebration of my high school graduation. It is mostly a family gathering with the exception of a handful of friends, which includes a young man who is not just a friend. I'd like to introduce him to everyone just as I would any of my girlfriends, but what I do not want is for my family to gang up on him or interrogate him. I'm afraid of this because my family is forward and they will want to know if he's my boyfriend and every little detail about him. It's important to me that he be there, and he wants to be present. Is there any way I can deflect attention away from him and keep things light? It's a joyous occasion, and I do not want him to be put on the spot. -- Fierce Family, Scarsdale, N.Y.

DEAR FIERCE FAMILY: Your family will want to get to know any young man you bring to the house. It is only natural. You can prepare him by letting him know that they are inquisitive. He should be ready to talk about himself, his plans for his education and his life. He should also be ready to say what his relationship is to you. That may mean that you two need to be clear about it. If you are dating, you can say so. If you recently met and are getting to know each other, you can say that. Yes, it can feel awkward to have to answer to family members who are curious, but it is to be expected.

Meanwhile, you can prepare your family by telling them that a nice young man will be coming to the party. Tell them something about him that can serve as an icebreaker. And ask them to be nice to him. If, during the event, you find that he needs to be rescued, just whisk him away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In the question from "Innocent Bystander" about an argument that ensued after a person yelled at another passenger talking on the train, the story doesn't mention whether this was a commuter train, but I suppose it doesn't really matter.

In my opinion, the woman across the aisle was the one at fault -- she was very rude and self-centered. The woman on the phone was causing no more disturbance than a person carrying on a conversation with someone sitting next to her. Would she have been asked to stop that? We do not exist on this planet alone; other people have rights, too. Maybe this was a busy woman who was taking her free time to talk with a friend or family member she had not had time to get in touch with before. We need to mind our own business and be more tolerant of other people. -- Tolerant, Cleburne, Texas

DEAR TOLERANT: I agree that trying to teach somebody a lesson by yelling does not usually work. Unfortunately, many things on trains, out in the public, etc., are annoying. One way to not escalate annoying behavior is to ignore it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a part of the leadership team at my church, and I feel like we are not communicating within each department as well as we should. Recently, there was a situation where a department head was in the hospital for about two weeks. We all assumed that he went on vacation to celebrate his wedding anniversary. That was not the case; however, we heard the news of his hospitalization secondhand. We should have known about this situation earlier so we could have visited him. Information is not being disseminated properly, and this can create problems in the future. If you can offer some advice on this situation, it would be greatly appreciated. -- Come Together, New York City

DEAR COME TOGETHER: I trust that you apologized to the church leader who was in the hospital for not visiting him earlier. Closing the loop, especially when you have not handled something well, is critical to cultivating good relationships.

It is also important to establish systems of communication. At many churches there are specific departments that handle alerting the head pastor and congregation about what's happening in the church community -- from acknowledging and praying for the infirm to celebrating successes. Similarly, it is wise for the leadership team to divide up responsibilities so that each key area of the church is covered. If you have weekly meetings where you provide updates, you can stay abreast of everything.

I wonder, too, who is in charge of the whole church. When the main pastor or church head is well-organized, it provides a structure for the rest to follow, and it is easier to keep the lines of communication open. Someone needs to inspire and motivate the group to share pertinent facts in a timely manner. If the top leader is not doing that right now, perhaps someone who knows how to implement such a system can make suggestions to him about how to upgrade the way in which you all interact.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to thank you for mentioning yoga as a way to fall asleep. I live and teach yoga in Mississippi, where many people don't know about yoga and are not familiar with what a well-trained teacher can offer to improve well-being beyond the exercise part. Thanks for planting the seed. -- Yogi Seeking Students, Ridgeland, Miss.

DEAR YOGI SEEKING STUDENTS: I have been practicing yoga for more than 20 years. For those who do not know, not only can you reap amazing physical benefits, but you reap spiritual benefits as well. The word "yoga" means "to unite" in Sanskrit. The Eastern foundational meaning of yoga is for the mind, the body and the spirit to be in alignment with one another. When that happens, the benefits one can receive are profound. They include peacefulness, grounding and focus. When you feel at ease in your own skin, it becomes easier to accept others for who they are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend's parents went through a really bad divorce when she was little, and their relationship has only continued to get worse. My friend is constantly stuck in the middle, though she made the decision to stay with her dad permanently. Her mother has still not forgiven her for this, and she continues to use my friend's decision as leverage in any fight or argument that arises. Now, for graduation, her mother arranged a trip to London, but deliberately scheduled the departure at the same time as a party that my friend's father had been planning for months. My friend refuses to let her mother interfere with her father's plans, but the argument is causing serious strain on all members of the family. She is really stressed out about this looming decision. For some reason, her mom refuses to reschedule the flight for a more convenient day.

It all comes back to the rivalry that exists between the parents, and my friend, yet again, must choose. She loves her parents both, but one party or the other always ends up angry or upset by her decisions. I wish I had someway to comfort her, but I don't know how she feels. Do you have any suggestions for what I can do to help her out? -- Dazed by Divorce, New Haven, Conn.

DEAR DAZED BY DIVORCE: What you can do is be a sounding board for your friend. Listen to her frustrations. Do your best to bite your tongue. There is no winning in this situation, so do not take sides.

What needs to happen is for the parents to put their child first. For anyone reading who is in a contentious relationship with the other parent of your child(ren), know that you may be doing lifelong harm to your child by not figuring out how to be civil to each other. Your job as parents is to teach your child(ren) how to live honorably, how to handle tough situations, how to make difficult decisions and how to live in the world respecting yourself and others. You fail when you are unable to demonstrate that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend I know is really unhappy with her profession. She is extremely passionate about theater and acting, but she had to put her dreams on the back burner because of student debt and other inconveniences. Unfortunately, a temporary break to put her finances in order ended up consuming her entire life. Now her family's health care plan is dependent on her work, and she has two college tuitions to deal with. The time is not right for her to make a life transition, but I worry that the time will never be right. How can I help her? -- Worried Friend, Miami

DEAR WORRIED FRIEND: There is no reason why your friend cannot get involved in an acting class or a community acting group. She may not find her way onto a Broadway stage, but she can engage her dream while also caring for her family.