DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a part of the leadership team at my church, and I feel like we are not communicating within each department as well as we should. Recently, there was a situation where a department head was in the hospital for about two weeks. We all assumed that he went on vacation to celebrate his wedding anniversary. That was not the case; however, we heard the news of his hospitalization secondhand. We should have known about this situation earlier so we could have visited him. Information is not being disseminated properly, and this can create problems in the future. If you can offer some advice on this situation, it would be greatly appreciated. -- Come Together, New York City

DEAR COME TOGETHER: I trust that you apologized to the church leader who was in the hospital for not visiting him earlier. Closing the loop, especially when you have not handled something well, is critical to cultivating good relationships.

It is also important to establish systems of communication. At many churches there are specific departments that handle alerting the head pastor and congregation about what's happening in the church community -- from acknowledging and praying for the infirm to celebrating successes. Similarly, it is wise for the leadership team to divide up responsibilities so that each key area of the church is covered. If you have weekly meetings where you provide updates, you can stay abreast of everything.

I wonder, too, who is in charge of the whole church. When the main pastor or church head is well-organized, it provides a structure for the rest to follow, and it is easier to keep the lines of communication open. Someone needs to inspire and motivate the group to share pertinent facts in a timely manner. If the top leader is not doing that right now, perhaps someone who knows how to implement such a system can make suggestions to him about how to upgrade the way in which you all interact.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to thank you for mentioning yoga as a way to fall asleep. I live and teach yoga in Mississippi, where many people don't know about yoga and are not familiar with what a well-trained teacher can offer to improve well-being beyond the exercise part. Thanks for planting the seed. -- Yogi Seeking Students, Ridgeland, Miss.

DEAR YOGI SEEKING STUDENTS: I have been practicing yoga for more than 20 years. For those who do not know, not only can you reap amazing physical benefits, but you reap spiritual benefits as well. The word "yoga" means "to unite" in Sanskrit. The Eastern foundational meaning of yoga is for the mind, the body and the spirit to be in alignment with one another. When that happens, the benefits one can receive are profound. They include peacefulness, grounding and focus. When you feel at ease in your own skin, it becomes easier to accept others for who they are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend's parents went through a really bad divorce when she was little, and their relationship has only continued to get worse. My friend is constantly stuck in the middle, though she made the decision to stay with her dad permanently. Her mother has still not forgiven her for this, and she continues to use my friend's decision as leverage in any fight or argument that arises. Now, for graduation, her mother arranged a trip to London, but deliberately scheduled the departure at the same time as a party that my friend's father had been planning for months. My friend refuses to let her mother interfere with her father's plans, but the argument is causing serious strain on all members of the family. She is really stressed out about this looming decision. For some reason, her mom refuses to reschedule the flight for a more convenient day.

It all comes back to the rivalry that exists between the parents, and my friend, yet again, must choose. She loves her parents both, but one party or the other always ends up angry or upset by her decisions. I wish I had someway to comfort her, but I don't know how she feels. Do you have any suggestions for what I can do to help her out? -- Dazed by Divorce, New Haven, Conn.

DEAR DAZED BY DIVORCE: What you can do is be a sounding board for your friend. Listen to her frustrations. Do your best to bite your tongue. There is no winning in this situation, so do not take sides.

What needs to happen is for the parents to put their child first. For anyone reading who is in a contentious relationship with the other parent of your child(ren), know that you may be doing lifelong harm to your child by not figuring out how to be civil to each other. Your job as parents is to teach your child(ren) how to live honorably, how to handle tough situations, how to make difficult decisions and how to live in the world respecting yourself and others. You fail when you are unable to demonstrate that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend I know is really unhappy with her profession. She is extremely passionate about theater and acting, but she had to put her dreams on the back burner because of student debt and other inconveniences. Unfortunately, a temporary break to put her finances in order ended up consuming her entire life. Now her family's health care plan is dependent on her work, and she has two college tuitions to deal with. The time is not right for her to make a life transition, but I worry that the time will never be right. How can I help her? -- Worried Friend, Miami

DEAR WORRIED FRIEND: There is no reason why your friend cannot get involved in an acting class or a community acting group. She may not find her way onto a Broadway stage, but she can engage her dream while also caring for her family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has recently taken a new love interest, the first in a long time. I think this is a good learning moment for her. She's been dating him for the last few months and things have been going pretty well, but she's a control freak and gets extremely frustrated when she organizes anything and it does not run smoothly. This new guy challenges that. I think this is good for her. She usually picks guys who will follow her lead and bend over backward for her, but this guy has more of a backbone than she had anticipated. She says dealing with him can be taxing. I say she's learning a good lesson. What do you think? -- Finally Taming the Beast, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR TAMING THE BEAST: I think this is her business and you will do well to stay out of it. I highly recommend you keep your opinions to yourself about him and their relationship. Having someone challenge your friend may be good, but naturally it is difficult, especially since she is unaccustomed to this type of reaction. It may be that he is great for her, especially if he is realistic in his push-back. He could also be the exact opposite of her previous boyfriends -- maybe he is overbearing in his desire to be in control himself. You do not know, which is why it is best to stay mum.

Let her play it out.

It is true that she has the opportunity to learn a lot about herself in this relationship. If she asks you your thoughts, you can recommend that she pay attention and see what she can learn.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my job we are in a high-stakes scenario in which my boss believes that his way is the only way that a task, of which I'm in charge, can be accomplished. My boss taught me his method, and in his eyes I failed at producing a same or similar product. He pointed out that I had not done an adequate job. I proposed another approach that I felt more comfortable executing well, and he shot it down. After I went against him and tackled the task my way, he saw that it worked just as well and gave me the OK. Did he mean to put me down, or was that just the stress talking? -- Alternative Way, Washington, D.C.

DEAR ALTERNATIVE WAY: Your boss's way may be blunt, but it wasn't necessarily a put-down. If the initial product you made using his method was inadequate, he should have told you as much. Otherwise you would be confused and the work would not have been completed to satisfaction.

It is unfortunate that he did not initially consider your alternative idea and wise of you to attempt it anyway. He may have been stressed out, or he may just be gruff. That you were successful and he could see that is excellent. Moving forward he may have more confidence in you. Trust develops over time. Keep working as hard as you can to do your job as requested. When innovation is needed, be strategic in your problem solving.