DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday is at the end of June, and I'd like to go to a concert with my friends. The trouble is that none of my friends are friends, and some of the friends I'd like to be there do not necessarily listen to the music that will be played at the concert. Also, I am dating someone, and I'd like for him to be there. There is a lot of room for awkwardness, and I do not want to worry about trying to make things mesh. My last-resort option would be to have dinner with my friends so I can moderate the situation should there be awkwardness, and just go to the concert with a selective group of people. I don't want people to be offended. What should I do? -- Keeping the Peace, Saginaw, Mich.

DEAR KEEPING THE PEACE: Think about your birthday wishes and which friends would enjoy helping you fulfill specific desires. Then, invite the people to the concert who would enjoy it. And invite the people to dinner who would enjoy that. Do not fear blending your friends. Instead of anticipating awkwardness, think of the similarities between your friends and create an ice-breaking activity at the dinner where you share fun facts about yourselves, or even everyone's relationship to you, as a way of starting the conversation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How does one politely ask for money as her No. 1 desire as a graduation gift? Ultimately, I want to be able to divide up my money and assign it toward specific things. I am a bit picky with gifts because I do not want a gift to collect dust if I do not like it -- I don't really want people trying to outfit my dorm room, for example. I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. -- Gift Strategist, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR GIFT STRATEGIST: This is where your parents come in. If they are hosting a party for you or otherwise informing your loved ones of your graduation, they can tell people that you would appreciate money as you plan to go to college. They can gently explain that you have big plans for your dorm room and would be grateful to have support in executing your plan.

If you are asked directly what you would like as a graduation gift, you can say that you hope people will give you money toward your college kitty. I would not say that you are deciding on the big gift you want to buy yourself or that you may not like their gift. (I realize you would not say that, but in case anyone thinks that is a good idea, it is not.)

I recommend further that you think expansively about what you might want to spend money on for your graduation. As you head off to college, I encourage you to consider investing some part of whatever money you do receive in a long-term savings instrument. Saving may be the best gift you could ever give yourself, even if it does not seem sexy now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not been in contact with a friend of my family for about three years until recently, when we bumped into each other at an off-Broadway play. When the play was over, we met in the lobby to talk and exchange our new phone numbers. Before we departed, she asked about my mother, and I did not know how to respond. It has been two years since my mother's passing, and I felt that it was not an appropriate place or time to talk about it. In addition, I have run into people who are not aware of my mother's death, and I am having a hard time telling them. How should I inform my family friend? -- At a Loss for Words, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR AT A LOSS FOR WORDS: First, please know that grief can last a long time. It may feel like opening a wound to relive your mother's last days. You were right not to reveal your mother's passing after the play, especially because you would have had to manage your friend's reaction as well as your own.

I recommend that you reach out to your friend. Call her and tell her that you have some news to share with her. Ask her if she has time to talk. If so, let her know about your mother. She may want to ask you questions. Decide in advance how much you want to talk about her death. If you are uncomfortable about going into detail, say that. Tell her you wanted her to know but it is still too painful for you to talk about.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a very large family with seven kids. I am the baby, and I'm about to graduate from high school. During the year, when my siblings are away at school, I get used to being an only child. I am accustomed to having the house to myself and doing my own thing. Now that everyone is home, I am overwhelmed by how busy the house has become. It's not that I don't love my family, I just don't love being around all of them all the time. I tend to leave after breakfast and come back for bed. I tell my parents where I am going, and if they need me for something I am there, but I tend to stay away.

Now, though, everyone is upset that I'm MIA. I just don't understand why I need to be around if we're not even spending time together. I would be happy to be there if there was a family bonding session or something, but it's really just a million bodies on their own frequencies, and I prefer not to be there. Why are they upset with me? -- I Like to be Lonely, Armonk, N.Y.

DEAR I LIKE TO BE LONELY: Sometimes just knowing that your loved ones are close by warms your heart. That is likely what your siblings and parents experience when everybody comes home. Because you are at home and feel crowded, you do not share the sentimental experience that they have. Why not split the difference and spend half your time at home, even if you are in your room? Show your face on occasion and participate when there is a family activity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am scheduled to attend a wedding in a few weeks, but I am having problems contacting my guest. I called a female friend to ask her if she would like to accompany me to a wedding in New York City. She said yes and asked me to help her find an affordable airfare and hotel package. I agreed to help and found a weekend package flying from Chicago to New York for $450. I sent my friend an email telling her what I found. She told me that she would purchase her trip the following week because she needed to pay a bill. Since the initial phone call, I have left multiple text messages, emails and voice mails asking if she's still coming to the wedding -- no response. The wedding is two weeks away, and I don't know what to do. Should I tell the wedding planner to cancel my additional seat, or should I wait with bated breath that I might receive a phone call a day before the wedding, saying, "I am at LaGuardia Airport." What is a guy to do? -- Snubbed, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR SNUBBED: Clearly your friend is not planning to come, for whatever reason. Move past her. If you want to bring a date, invite somebody else, preferably someone who is local so there is no expense or hardship involved in attending. If you do not have anyone to invite, tell the bride that you will be coming solo so that she can have an accurate headcount for the reception.

As far as your friend goes, stop calling her. If she shows up at LaGuardia, by the way, no need to go get her. She has not completed the social contract that calls for basic good manners and communication. You are not obliged to jump when she calls.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it too late to pursue a dream? I am a 61-year-old woman, and I have the desire to go back to college to obtain a degree in nursing. Most of my family thinks I am crazy to go back to school at this stage of my life. However, my daughter and her children have helped me learn how to use a computer, surf the Internet and get an email account. I am sitting on cloud nine. I want to be an example to my family that it's never too late to live your dream. What are your thoughts? -- Chasing a Dream, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR CHASING A DREAM: It is wonderful that you have made the choice to advance your education, and better still that your family is supportive. I recently met a young woman who is headed to college. At 17, she inspired her 60-year-old grandmother to go to college for the first time alongside her.

I was taught that as long as you are alive, you can grow. Part of our responsibility is to continue to reach and make the very best of our lives. Congratulations on living your dream!