DEAR HARRIETTE: I am scheduled to attend a wedding in a few weeks, but I am having problems contacting my guest. I called a female friend to ask her if she would like to accompany me to a wedding in New York City. She said yes and asked me to help her find an affordable airfare and hotel package. I agreed to help and found a weekend package flying from Chicago to New York for $450. I sent my friend an email telling her what I found. She told me that she would purchase her trip the following week because she needed to pay a bill. Since the initial phone call, I have left multiple text messages, emails and voice mails asking if she's still coming to the wedding -- no response. The wedding is two weeks away, and I don't know what to do. Should I tell the wedding planner to cancel my additional seat, or should I wait with bated breath that I might receive a phone call a day before the wedding, saying, "I am at LaGuardia Airport." What is a guy to do? -- Snubbed, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR SNUBBED: Clearly your friend is not planning to come, for whatever reason. Move past her. If you want to bring a date, invite somebody else, preferably someone who is local so there is no expense or hardship involved in attending. If you do not have anyone to invite, tell the bride that you will be coming solo so that she can have an accurate headcount for the reception.

As far as your friend goes, stop calling her. If she shows up at LaGuardia, by the way, no need to go get her. She has not completed the social contract that calls for basic good manners and communication. You are not obliged to jump when she calls.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it too late to pursue a dream? I am a 61-year-old woman, and I have the desire to go back to college to obtain a degree in nursing. Most of my family thinks I am crazy to go back to school at this stage of my life. However, my daughter and her children have helped me learn how to use a computer, surf the Internet and get an email account. I am sitting on cloud nine. I want to be an example to my family that it's never too late to live your dream. What are your thoughts? -- Chasing a Dream, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR CHASING A DREAM: It is wonderful that you have made the choice to advance your education, and better still that your family is supportive. I recently met a young woman who is headed to college. At 17, she inspired her 60-year-old grandmother to go to college for the first time alongside her.

I was taught that as long as you are alive, you can grow. Part of our responsibility is to continue to reach and make the very best of our lives. Congratulations on living your dream!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a local store in a job that pays little. The job was mostly to make pocket cash while I was in high school, but I need to save up money before I go to college. I want to hunt for something that pays a little better, but my bosses are really great. They've always treated me well. The shop sells food items, so they often give the staff samples or treats to take home. I feel bad leaving the job because they have been so kind, and I actually like the work. It isn't a drag to do, but I need a job that pays better. Asking for a raise is out of the question because it is a young business and I know that they are trying to be conservative in spending. Do you think I should leave? Or perhaps double up on jobs? -- Broke, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BROKE: You are lucky to have a job that you like so much, and you are smart to be practical about your circumstances. I suggest that you think about what else you can do to supplement your income. Can you baby-sit for any children in your area? Are there any other businesses nearby that may need additional help? Are there families in your neighborhood who utilize young people to help with projects during the summer? Be creative as you think about your options.

You may also want to speak to your bosses and ask if you can work more hours. Be honest about your situation -- you love your job, and you need to make more money before fall. Tell your bosses that you do not want to leave, but you have to figure out a creative solution to take care of yourself. They may be willing to give you more hours rather than giving them to someone else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wedding anniversary is coming up, and I am not feeling it. My husband and I have not gotten along for years. We coexist more than engage each other. I have heard people talk about how people grow old together and often get bored, but I am not interested in being bored for the next however many years. I don't necessarily want to get divorced. What can I do to make this anniversary feel more important than just a marker in time? -- Not Feeling Celebratory, Salt Lake City

DEAR NOT FEELING CELEBRATORY: Can you remember when you and your husband used to have fun together? One way people are able to spark renewed enthusiasm about their marriages is to do something that they loved years ago. The range of activities is broad -- taking a long walk, going dancing, reading a good book and talking about it, going on an adventurous vacation or hanging out with mutual friends.

Ask your husband if he would like to do something special on your big day. Suggest a few ideas that have come up for you. Tell him you want to make the day special. Claiming it is a good first step.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother and I had a huge argument about how I raise my children. I have not spoken to her in about five years. My husband and I live only 5 miles from my parents' home. I talk to my dad every day, and we actually go to my parents' house to visit with them every other weekend. Mother and I refuse to talk to each other, and I would like to make peace with her. My mother was not around when I was child, and I have a hard time listening to suggestions about raising children from someone who was not there for her own child. -- Brittle, Chicago

DEAR BRITTLE: What you must do in order to heal is forgive your mother. Reach out and tell her that you want to build a relationship with her. Tell her that you forgive her for not being there when you were a child. Thank her for welcoming your family to her home so frequently. Ask her if she is willing to start over with you. Be crystal clear that you do not want her to parent your children; you want her to be your mother.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It occurs to me that the "stalker" in Queens, N.Y., may be interested in becoming "friends" with the gentleman's niece rather than the man himself. In light of the recent discoveries in Cleveland, I think he should definitely report this person to the police. He sounds dangerous to me, or at least unbalanced. It's also possible that he is a child molester, or worse. -- Concerned Great-grandma, Bossier City, La.

DEAR CONCERNED GREAT-GRANDMA: As I wrote earlier, I completely agree with you that he should report this "stalker" to the police. You never know what he is capable of. It is possible that he is simply lonely and desiring a friend. But, as you point out, in these days and times, especially considering the tragic story of the three young women who were kidnapped and held hostage for more than 10 years, we must be vigilant when it comes to protecting children's safety.

We need to reignite the sense of community that existed a generation or so ago. I remember when I was growing up, my mother used to always say that she had eyes in the back of her head. I realized at some point that those eyes belonged to the neighbors, teachers, shop owners -- all the people who touched our lives in one way or another. We all looked out for one another. When my sisters or I did something wrong, we were guaranteed to hear about it, not just from our parents, but also from others who had either witnessed or heard of the incident. Plus, they would call ahead and let my mother know. Same went for safety. Parents looked out for the children in the neighborhood, not just their own children.

We desperately need to re-establish that sense of community to help turn the tide against violent crimes and nurture and protect those vulnerable members of our communities who most need to be taken under someone's wing.