DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a local store in a job that pays little. The job was mostly to make pocket cash while I was in high school, but I need to save up money before I go to college. I want to hunt for something that pays a little better, but my bosses are really great. They've always treated me well. The shop sells food items, so they often give the staff samples or treats to take home. I feel bad leaving the job because they have been so kind, and I actually like the work. It isn't a drag to do, but I need a job that pays better. Asking for a raise is out of the question because it is a young business and I know that they are trying to be conservative in spending. Do you think I should leave? Or perhaps double up on jobs? -- Broke, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BROKE: You are lucky to have a job that you like so much, and you are smart to be practical about your circumstances. I suggest that you think about what else you can do to supplement your income. Can you baby-sit for any children in your area? Are there any other businesses nearby that may need additional help? Are there families in your neighborhood who utilize young people to help with projects during the summer? Be creative as you think about your options.

You may also want to speak to your bosses and ask if you can work more hours. Be honest about your situation -- you love your job, and you need to make more money before fall. Tell your bosses that you do not want to leave, but you have to figure out a creative solution to take care of yourself. They may be willing to give you more hours rather than giving them to someone else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wedding anniversary is coming up, and I am not feeling it. My husband and I have not gotten along for years. We coexist more than engage each other. I have heard people talk about how people grow old together and often get bored, but I am not interested in being bored for the next however many years. I don't necessarily want to get divorced. What can I do to make this anniversary feel more important than just a marker in time? -- Not Feeling Celebratory, Salt Lake City

DEAR NOT FEELING CELEBRATORY: Can you remember when you and your husband used to have fun together? One way people are able to spark renewed enthusiasm about their marriages is to do something that they loved years ago. The range of activities is broad -- taking a long walk, going dancing, reading a good book and talking about it, going on an adventurous vacation or hanging out with mutual friends.

Ask your husband if he would like to do something special on your big day. Suggest a few ideas that have come up for you. Tell him you want to make the day special. Claiming it is a good first step.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother and I had a huge argument about how I raise my children. I have not spoken to her in about five years. My husband and I live only 5 miles from my parents' home. I talk to my dad every day, and we actually go to my parents' house to visit with them every other weekend. Mother and I refuse to talk to each other, and I would like to make peace with her. My mother was not around when I was child, and I have a hard time listening to suggestions about raising children from someone who was not there for her own child. -- Brittle, Chicago

DEAR BRITTLE: What you must do in order to heal is forgive your mother. Reach out and tell her that you want to build a relationship with her. Tell her that you forgive her for not being there when you were a child. Thank her for welcoming your family to her home so frequently. Ask her if she is willing to start over with you. Be crystal clear that you do not want her to parent your children; you want her to be your mother.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It occurs to me that the "stalker" in Queens, N.Y., may be interested in becoming "friends" with the gentleman's niece rather than the man himself. In light of the recent discoveries in Cleveland, I think he should definitely report this person to the police. He sounds dangerous to me, or at least unbalanced. It's also possible that he is a child molester, or worse. -- Concerned Great-grandma, Bossier City, La.

DEAR CONCERNED GREAT-GRANDMA: As I wrote earlier, I completely agree with you that he should report this "stalker" to the police. You never know what he is capable of. It is possible that he is simply lonely and desiring a friend. But, as you point out, in these days and times, especially considering the tragic story of the three young women who were kidnapped and held hostage for more than 10 years, we must be vigilant when it comes to protecting children's safety.

We need to reignite the sense of community that existed a generation or so ago. I remember when I was growing up, my mother used to always say that she had eyes in the back of her head. I realized at some point that those eyes belonged to the neighbors, teachers, shop owners -- all the people who touched our lives in one way or another. We all looked out for one another. When my sisters or I did something wrong, we were guaranteed to hear about it, not just from our parents, but also from others who had either witnessed or heard of the incident. Plus, they would call ahead and let my mother know. Same went for safety. Parents looked out for the children in the neighborhood, not just their own children.

We desperately need to re-establish that sense of community to help turn the tide against violent crimes and nurture and protect those vulnerable members of our communities who most need to be taken under someone's wing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Does it pay to be a good Samaritan? Last week on my way to work, I saw a gentleman leave his parked SUV unattended with the engine running, driver's side door open and the windows down. I was amazed that anyone would leave his vehicle unattended in New York City. I stood near the vehicle for about 10 minutes, waiting until the owner returned to his car. The gentleman gave me a slightly confused look -- he did not expect anyone to watch his vehicle. I told him that he should not leave his SUV unattended with the engine running. The man gave me the middle finger and drove off. What I thought was a good deed backfired on me. What should I have done? -- Do-gooder, New York City

DEAR DO-GOODER: What I have learned is that when you do a good deed, you must do it with no desire for something in return. You just do the good thing because it is the right thing to do. It was extremely thoughtful of you to stand near this man's car to protect it from being stolen.

Who knows what this man had in mind? He may have wanted the car to be stolen. He may have been so absent-minded that it did not occur to him that he had left the car on and unattended. Clearly, he made an unwise decision -- for many reasons. In a big city, leaving a car unattended and running is foolish. It is also environmentally unsound. This man may have been embarrassed to be found out to be as unconscious as he was.

As far as you are concerned, stating the obvious -- that the man should not leave his car unattended -- was unnecessary. But I would chalk up his bad manners to his overall unaware state. You did good!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have thoughts on the overactive 6-year-old boy whose mother wrote to you. It may not be medication or lack of exercise that is his problem. Check what he is eating. My nephew's son, a first-grader, developed allergies to certain food dyes. Blue gives him headaches. Red, yellow and orange make him hyper. Many breakfast cereals contain these dyes. Read labels and try avoiding these dyes for a short time. It can't hurt, and it might even help. -- Hypervigilant, Racine, Wis.

DEAR HYPERVIGILANT: Thank you for this additional consideration. Recently, I met a young boy whose mother said he cannot eat or drink anything that has food dye in it because it upsets his system.

What parents should do is consult with their pediatricians in detail to learn what options are available for overactive children. Find a doctor who is conservative when it comes to prescribing mood-altering drugs. Often there are less-aggressive options to help children be healthy and at ease in their bodies.