DEAR HARRIETTE: I received a phone call from my uncle a few weeks ago. While we were talking on the phone, my uncle expressed concerns that his 40-year-old nephew (me) is not in a relationship. He mentioned that my family expressed the same sentiments. I happily informed my uncle that I have gone back to college to obtain a degree in business management, and I am not able to balance a relationship and college at the same time. I calmed my uncle's anxieties about my relationship status for the moment.

I would like my family to support me in my academic endeavors as opposed to their being concerned about my personal life. How can I set parameters for my family regarding my personal life? -- The College Student, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR COLLEGE STUDENT: You may want to schedule a family meeting where you can talk face-to-face. Present the plan that you are currently living out to your family. Describe your intention for your education, and give them a sense of what you imagine for yourself in two years, in four years, in ten years. If you believe you do want to be in a relationship down the road, tell them. Make it clear that education is your focus right now and you want to give it your all so that you will create opportunities for yourself that will help to expand your future choices. Ask for their support and trust.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children are at the age where they can participate in team sports. My brother has agreed to take them to their athletic endeavors whenever I have to work on the weekends. My brother and I were once athletes in college, and now we work in the finance industry for separate companies. Our jobs are very demanding, and there's no room for error. After our workday, we usually watch some sporting event. We yell at the TV if the referee makes a bad call, and we cheer when an athlete makes a spectacular play. I do not want my brother or myself to make a scene if my children's referee makes a bad call or if the coaches decide to pull my children out of the game because they made a mistake. I live in a suburban community where the parents actually fought the coaches and referees for making bad calls against their children. Do you have any suggestions on how to stay calm while watching the kids play? -- Helicopter Mom, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR HELICOPTER MOM: Talk to your brother about managing emotions during your children's games. It is natural to get excited about your kids' games. Many parents and family members do yell out during games. You can do that, but you need to be clear about boundaries. Stay in the area where you are seated. Do not defy the referee. Do not go down to the field. Just because other attendees lose their cool does not mean that you have to follow suit. Remember that you are an example for your children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister asked if she could send her three kids to stay with me for a few weeks this summer while she and her husband go away for an extended vacation. Her kids range in age from 7 to 14 years old. I love them dearly, but I cannot afford to keep them for that long. I have been working part-time, barely paying my bills for the past several years. I haven't told her that, though. I know she can afford to pay for their food and stuff during their stay, but I feel weird asking her to do that. How should I handle this? -- Torn, Washington, D.C.

DEAR TORN: There is absolutely no reason for you to feel uncomfortable about asking your sister to pay for food and entertainment for her children. She knows what it costs to take care of them. I assume that she has asked you to welcome them so that they can spend quality time with family.

Be crystal clear with your sister when you discuss logistics of this potential visit. Be honest about the need for cash to cover them. Itemize what you think you might do together, including if you think you will need a sitter. For example, when you are working, where will they be? The more detailed your conversation is with your sister, the better you will be able to take care of yourself as you take care of her children.

If you find through the course of your discussion that it does not make sense for you to take them, tell her that. What you do not want is to accept the responsibility of the children and then not be able to handle it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In a recent letter, a wife complained that her husband was spending almost a quarter of his paycheck on video games. That seems high. Is that percentage an alarm bell of an addiction? What percentage of time and/or money dedicated to an activity (video games, porn, etc.) can serve as an indication that something is not right? -- Adding It Up, Chicago

DEAR ADDING IT UP: Great question. While I do not have a percentage to point to, I did find some revealing information. According to Susan Shapiro, co-author of "Unhooked: How to Quit Anything," "an addiction is a compulsive reliance on any substance or activity that harms or deters your ability to function in a major area of your life." Shapiro goes on to say, "This includes work, school, family, social and intimate relationships." She includes video games, texting and pornography under the umbrella of soft habits.

If a person is suffering from an addiction, he or she will likely need more help than an invitation to do something else. Addictions, and bad habits, for that matter, can be almost impossible to end without support. Getting someone to make the choice to get help can be difficult, though. One recommendation is to ask the person to go to a meeting with an addiction specialist or a 12-step program to see if he or she can benefit from the experience.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is frustrated with her college situation. We live in an affluent neighborhood, and most kids go to private schools. Although they are well-off, her family does not have the means to pay a hefty tuition. Unfortunately, she feels as if some of her more affordable options force her to compromise on what she is looking for in a school. For example, many of the state schools are too big and do not provide an intimate learning environment, while others do not appeal to her preferred social expectations. She is toying with the idea of taking out loans so that she might have a more holistic college experience, yet she fears having tens of thousands of dollars of debt upon graduation, especially because we cannot foresee what the job market will look like. Should she strive for affordability or for the experience that she desires? -- Facing Choices, Cincinnati

DEAR FACING CHOICES: Suggest to your friend that she look into what scholarships may be available at the schools she likes. She can ask her guidance counselor to support her in this effort. There are countless scholarships out there for a host of reasons. Depending on her hobbies, family background, academic record or even quirky pursuits, there may be money out there that she can use to reduce what she has to pay for tuition. You can start your search with fastweb.com and scholarships.com. There are many more sites as well.

Another option that many students are choosing is going to a community college for the first two years and then transferring to a four-year college or university for the last two years. This can help defray costs as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When my ex and I broke up, it was really ugly although it was private. I acted stupid. He broke up with me, and I begged him not to leave. It was not a pretty picture. I have been doing better. I did not tell anybody the details of our breakup, but he did. One of our mutual friends came up to me at a party and recited everything that happened during our breakup. She was not mean about it; she just wanted to know how I was doing. It was embarrassing. I did not want to rehash that situation with her. I definitely do not want this to happen again. I want to call him and ask him to stop talking about it. What do you think? -- Embarrassed, Los Angeles

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Yes, you can call your ex and ask him not to continue sharing intimate details of your breakup with your mutual friends. Know that he may not have intended to embarrass you. When relationships end, people often need to talk about what happened and process their emotions. He may have been doing just that. What's tough is that his confidant is a shared friend.