DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having issues with a friend. She thinks very highly of herself and often gets angry because of the way she perceives my attitude toward her. I love having her as a friend, but it becomes very stressful because she constantly gets upset as a result of my "tone." The other day I was in a huge rush, and I gave her a brief hello -- she was upset! If I stand up for myself, she gets even angrier, saying things like, "Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?" I don't know how to handle her confidence. What do you suggest I do? -- Tone-deaf, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TONE-DEAF: Tone is a tricky thing. I believe that the way you say something is far more important and impactful than what you actually say. It is possible to be brief with a hello and to make it full and warm and welcoming. Know that there is a chance that you do have a "tone" with her, especially if she intimidates or frustrates you. Your conflicted emotions around her could come out in a derogatory way.

It could also be true that your friend is arrogant and self-centered. She may be the kind of person who is accustomed to having people cater to her, and when you don't, she feels offended.

The bottom line for you is to focus on yourself. Your responsibility is to take care of you, to build your own self-confidence and behave in an honorable way. That does not mean you should be a pushover. Stand your ground when she is mean or rude. Walk away when you feel the situation is going nowhere. Ultimately, you must evaluate whether this is a friendship worth keeping.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother never pulls his car far enough down the driveway. He leaves it at the top, so that when I pull in, I have no choice except to park right behind him, and he gets stuck. If he were to park at the bottom, there would be room for me to park next to him so that he could get out if he needed. I have tried telling him nicely that he needs to pull the car all the way down, and he is momentarily receptive then neglects to do anything. It's extremely frustrating because I have to be on his schedule and have to drop whatever I am doing so I can move my car if he needs to leave. I have become so upset with the situation that I can't help but raise my voice when I come home or refuse to move my car. That has put strain on our relationship because he becomes angry in response. How can I approach this situation? -- Parking Rage, Scarsdale, N.Y.

DEAR PARKING RAGE: This is where parents come in! You have attempted to reason with your brother. Now it is time to bring in the voice of reason. Describe the situation to your parents and ask them to intervene.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in an exotic location, even though it's simply where I'm from. I went to school in the United States, and many of my friends from school like to come and visit me. When they come, they expect me to host them for their entire vacation. It's almost like they think my home is their hotel. Don't get me wrong: I want to see my friends, but I am not a travel agent or a bed-and-breakfast. I can't afford to host them the way they expect, and I have to work. I can't be off the whole time they are at my house, but they don't seem to understand this and get mad at me. What should I say to them? -- Not a Hotel, St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands

DEAR NOT A HOTEL: It's time to speak plainly to your friends. Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them coming to visit, but state that you are not a hotel. Tell them you hope they will continue to come to visit, but that you need them to understand your parameters. Then lay them out.

Establish the appropriate length of time for visits. Describe how you hope the meals will go -- with everyone pitching in so that you don't become the sole cook or provider of meals. Talk about what you have to do while they are in town, especially if you have to work. Remind them that they are coming for vacation, but this is where you live and work. Be clear with them. You may find that some of them choose to stay in a hotel and visit with you rather than crash at your place the whole time, especially if you make it clear that they cannot have free run of your house, refrigerator and time. By the way, you don't have to feel bad about this. Remember: You are not a hotel. You are a friend, and a good friend at that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a misunderstanding with my next-door neighbor, who has been a dear friend for many years. I hosted an event for my colleagues at my home and did not invite her. She thought I was having a party for friends and her feelings were hurt. When I reached out to her to talk the next day, I learned that she was upset. I was surprised. As much as we like each other, neither of us invites the other to every event we host. I don't think she should have been invited to this event, but I feel bad that she's upset. How can I help her to feel better? -- Unneighborly, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR UNNEIGHBORLY: Invite your neighbor over for tea and chat with her about the event. Tell her that you hosted a gathering of colleagues and talk a little bit about the event. Then, tell her that you believe she's upset because she wasn't invited. Remind her that both of you host events for different groups. Sometimes it's right to be included, sometimes it's not. Assure her that you love her just as much. The end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am graduating in June, and my mother is hassling me about attending graduate school. She knows I really want to pursue my dream in fashion and have moved from home to another state to start my career. Since I moved about a year ago, I have taken on wonderful assignments and met interesting people, yet I have not gotten the "dream job." My mother feels I should move back home and attend graduate school, then pursue my passion. In her eyes, I will never make the money I want to make by doing dead-end jobs. I've expressed to her that while school is important, I have time and I'm thinking about my next move. However, that isn't good enough for her. Can you please advise me on how to address my mother without being cold? -- On the Precipice, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR ON THE PRECIPICE: Congratulations on your graduation. This is a great accomplishment that you should pause to relish. Both you and your mother have good points. Many people do go directly to graduate school so that they can fortify their skills and position themselves for potentially higher-paying professional jobs. I value higher education, and I understand why your mother is urging you forward.

At the same time, I have witnessed many people take a few years to pursue their professional interests and figure out exactly what they want to do, then go to graduate school with a clear focus. Both approaches can work.

While you have not yet gotten your "dream job" -- an unlikely option for most people when they first start working -- if you choose not to go to graduate school, do your best to pursue employment in your field of interest so that you do not waste your time. Also, don't wait too long to go back to school. Earning money can make it tough to immerse yourself in education, especially if you have to give up your job to do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you address a stalking situation? I take my niece to school three times a week, and we usually take the same route every day. As of late, I have changed our route because I feel that someone is following us. As her uncle, I want to keep her safe. I have seen this guy when I walk her to school, when I'm coming home from work -- almost every day. There's something odd about him. After I dropped off my niece at her school, I bumped into the man at a newsstand, and I asked him why he was following me. He said he wanted to be friends. I told him no and walked away in disgust. I didn't know what to do. Should I have found a police officer to report my situation? -- I'm Watching You, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR I'M WATCHING YOU: You are wise to change your route regularly to protect your niece. By all means report your suspicions to the local police. Be sure that you lock your doors and windows at home. Consider getting a security system if you don't already have one. Make sure your friends and neighbors know your suspicion.