DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in an exotic location, even though it's simply where I'm from. I went to school in the United States, and many of my friends from school like to come and visit me. When they come, they expect me to host them for their entire vacation. It's almost like they think my home is their hotel. Don't get me wrong: I want to see my friends, but I am not a travel agent or a bed-and-breakfast. I can't afford to host them the way they expect, and I have to work. I can't be off the whole time they are at my house, but they don't seem to understand this and get mad at me. What should I say to them? -- Not a Hotel, St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands

DEAR NOT A HOTEL: It's time to speak plainly to your friends. Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them coming to visit, but state that you are not a hotel. Tell them you hope they will continue to come to visit, but that you need them to understand your parameters. Then lay them out.

Establish the appropriate length of time for visits. Describe how you hope the meals will go -- with everyone pitching in so that you don't become the sole cook or provider of meals. Talk about what you have to do while they are in town, especially if you have to work. Remind them that they are coming for vacation, but this is where you live and work. Be clear with them. You may find that some of them choose to stay in a hotel and visit with you rather than crash at your place the whole time, especially if you make it clear that they cannot have free run of your house, refrigerator and time. By the way, you don't have to feel bad about this. Remember: You are not a hotel. You are a friend, and a good friend at that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a misunderstanding with my next-door neighbor, who has been a dear friend for many years. I hosted an event for my colleagues at my home and did not invite her. She thought I was having a party for friends and her feelings were hurt. When I reached out to her to talk the next day, I learned that she was upset. I was surprised. As much as we like each other, neither of us invites the other to every event we host. I don't think she should have been invited to this event, but I feel bad that she's upset. How can I help her to feel better? -- Unneighborly, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR UNNEIGHBORLY: Invite your neighbor over for tea and chat with her about the event. Tell her that you hosted a gathering of colleagues and talk a little bit about the event. Then, tell her that you believe she's upset because she wasn't invited. Remind her that both of you host events for different groups. Sometimes it's right to be included, sometimes it's not. Assure her that you love her just as much. The end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am graduating in June, and my mother is hassling me about attending graduate school. She knows I really want to pursue my dream in fashion and have moved from home to another state to start my career. Since I moved about a year ago, I have taken on wonderful assignments and met interesting people, yet I have not gotten the "dream job." My mother feels I should move back home and attend graduate school, then pursue my passion. In her eyes, I will never make the money I want to make by doing dead-end jobs. I've expressed to her that while school is important, I have time and I'm thinking about my next move. However, that isn't good enough for her. Can you please advise me on how to address my mother without being cold? -- On the Precipice, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR ON THE PRECIPICE: Congratulations on your graduation. This is a great accomplishment that you should pause to relish. Both you and your mother have good points. Many people do go directly to graduate school so that they can fortify their skills and position themselves for potentially higher-paying professional jobs. I value higher education, and I understand why your mother is urging you forward.

At the same time, I have witnessed many people take a few years to pursue their professional interests and figure out exactly what they want to do, then go to graduate school with a clear focus. Both approaches can work.

While you have not yet gotten your "dream job" -- an unlikely option for most people when they first start working -- if you choose not to go to graduate school, do your best to pursue employment in your field of interest so that you do not waste your time. Also, don't wait too long to go back to school. Earning money can make it tough to immerse yourself in education, especially if you have to give up your job to do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you address a stalking situation? I take my niece to school three times a week, and we usually take the same route every day. As of late, I have changed our route because I feel that someone is following us. As her uncle, I want to keep her safe. I have seen this guy when I walk her to school, when I'm coming home from work -- almost every day. There's something odd about him. After I dropped off my niece at her school, I bumped into the man at a newsstand, and I asked him why he was following me. He said he wanted to be friends. I told him no and walked away in disgust. I didn't know what to do. Should I have found a police officer to report my situation? -- I'm Watching You, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR I'M WATCHING YOU: You are wise to change your route regularly to protect your niece. By all means report your suspicions to the local police. Be sure that you lock your doors and windows at home. Consider getting a security system if you don't already have one. Make sure your friends and neighbors know your suspicion.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad for the people in Boston after the marathon bombings. I want to give money to help. I'm a little afraid, though, of where to send my money. I hear that there has been a lot of money collected already and there are scam businesses set up to divert the money going to victims of the bombing. I know I can go to the Red Cross, but what if I want to give another charity a chance? How can I do it safely? -- Wanting to Give, Philadelphia

DEAR WANTING TO GIVE: It is wonderful how generous people have been in the wake of this tragedy. And you are right to be wary of how to give. I also like the idea of sharing the wealth with a variety of charities, but you need to be sure your choice is legitimate.

The IRS has come up with a few guidelines for safe charitable giving:

-- Donate to qualified charities. Use the Exempt Organizations Select Check tool at IRS.gov to find qualified charities. Only donations to qualified charitable organizations are tax-deductible. You can also find legitimate charities on the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) website at fema.gov.

-- Be wary of charities with similar names.

-- Don't give out personal financial information. Do not give your Social Security, credit card of bank account numbers and passwords to anyone who solicits a contribution from you. Scam artists use this information to steal your identity and money.

-- Don't give or send cash. For security and tax record purposes, contribute by check, credit card or another way that provides documentation of the donation.

-- Report suspected fraud. Taxpayers suspecting tax or charity-related fraud should visit IRS.gov and perform a search using the keywords "Report Phishing."

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that it is spring, people are dressing crazy. I saw one woman wearing a miniskirt, and as she crossed the street her skirt blew up in the air and exposed her panties. That was not cute at all. I saw another woman who didn't seem to even have on panties while wearing a sheer skirt. Now, I am no prude, but I do think people should at least take a look at themselves before they walk out the door. Can you please say something to these people about appropriate dress? -- Appalled, New York City

DEAR APPALLED: I have seen my fair share of too much body exposed, especially in warmer months. While I love fashion and like the idea of people having the freedom to express their unique personalities through their attire, I believe that we all should know where to draw the line.

I suggest that you think about your day before you leave your home. Make note of what you have to do and what is expected of you when you show up. That includes what you have to wear. Consciously decide how to dress so that you will feel empowered throughout the day. Once you are dressed, look at yourself in the mirror -- head to toe, front to back. Make sure that you like the way you look all the way around.

If you do that, chances are you will think twice about not putting on underwear or wearing something so short or so low-cut that you will not be comfortable all day long.