DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I meet a young lady and start dating her, it turns into a platonic relationship. I don't know why. I am a kind man. I am very active in my church. I treat women with respect. I have good manners. Sometimes they call me a teddy bear. I am very tall and -- I'll just say it -- a big guy. I don't want to go on and on, but I really am a nice guy. Honestly, I think that's the problem. Maybe I am too nice. It seems like the guys who are deceitful or slick always get the girls. What can I do? -- Lonely Guy, Shreveport, La.

DEAR LONELY GUY: You have not met the right woman for you -- yet. Do not give up. What many people do not realize is that there are countless men who are having trouble finding a match.

As you know, it can be challenging to find the right person. To refine your search, make a list of the qualities that you desire in a partner. Be as specific as you can. Your list will help you to weed out poor prospects.

Now, write a list about yourself. What are your best qualities? What have women told you when they relegate you to the "friend" category? Do your best to remember anything specific about the feedback you have received. You may discover something about your behavior that you can modify. Do not give up!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your answer to Mom in Shock about how her child and a friend were running down a fellow student for wearing the same clothing several times a week could have gone a step further -- on several fronts.

Instead of a handout directly to the schoolmate and/or her family, how about contributing to a program that helps multiple children at the school in a way that won't be embarrassing to the schoolmate and/or her family. Lots of these programs let the kids "shop" for their own outfits and run less risk/possible embarrassment of wearing clothes from an easily identified source.

And this way the daughter can help multiple children by giving her outgrown and/or unwanted items and learn about being sensitive to others' feelings and self-confidence. And the daughter will learn about continuing generosity. I think this is a win-win that keeps the recipients' dignity in mind.

Sometimes a women's league or hospital thrift shop (for example) runs such programs. Or check with the Salvation Army. -- Helping Hand, Chicago

DEAR HELPING HAND: Great ideas! Empowering children and eliminating embarrassment are so important. I love the idea of letting children "shop" for their own outfits.

Further on this topic is the perspective that many of us have on people wearing clothes repeatedly. This is one reason why some schools require uniforms. This takes the competition regarding wardrobe largely out of the equation. Another idea occurred to me as well: In other countries, there is little to no stigma to people -- children and adults alike -- wearing the same clothes often. We have lots to learn.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I can't believe that it is prom season already. I am worried because my daughter does not have a date for her special day. I don't want my daughter to go to the prom alone and feel lonely. What can I do to ensure my daughter will have a good time at her prom, even if she goes by herself? -- Prom Mom, New York City

DEAR PROM MOM: First, make sure your daughter wants to go to prom. It's fine if she doesn't. If she does, ask her if any of her friends will be going to the prom and if any of them are going solo. An option is for your daughter to go with a group of friends who would otherwise not have dates. Just as couples sometimes do, they can rent a limo and choose to spend the evening together as friends.

If she does not have other friends going solo, find out if any of her friends traveling with a date would be open to including her in any part of the evening. For example, you could host a pre-gathering where a group of friends comes to your house on the way to prom. That way they establish camaraderie in advance. At the event, they may spend a bit of time together, too.

Essentially, your daughter needs to identify someone or a group of people who will be kind to her at the event so that she does not feel isolated.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a very active 6-year-old son. He is very creative and he likes anything and everything any 6-year-old boy would like. His kindergarten teacher thinks he needs to take medicine to calm him.

Last week, my son had an outburst in class, which left some of his classmates shaken up. I went to discuss the situation with my son; he told me the kids were making fun of him and that resulted in the outburst. I think his teacher went to the extreme in this situation, and I would like to know how I should address his teacher for suggesting my child should take medicine? -- Happy Child, Unhappy Parent, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR UNHAPPY PARENT: Schedule a meeting with your son's teacher to review the situation -- including the recommendation for medicine. Ask the teacher to describe the scenario that prompted the suggestion. Repeat what your son shared. Ask the teacher if he has any tools for defusing outbursts and what steps are in place when children tease other children. Bullying of any kind should not be tolerated.

Ask why the teacher thinks your child needs medication. That is a strong statement coming from someone who is not a medical doctor. Hear the teacher out anyway. You may want to discuss the teacher's concerns with your son's pediatrician. In some cases, medication does help children. But it is also true that adequate time for daily physical activity can help to calm children down effectively. When children feel safe and heard, they often lash out less. If your child was being bullied, the other children deserve some type of reprimand as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started in a new job as a senior member of a work team. This company has a policy to hire people with disabilities, neurological or physical, as part of the support staff. My youngest son is in the autism spectrum, so seeing these people given the same opportunities as "typicals" is heartwarming. I see my son's future opportunities reflected in their successes, which might be as simple as leading an independent life.

Unfortunately, we still have remnants of social stereotyping and unconscious bigotry. While talking with my team, a couple of them wondered why the company had to hire people who "obviously had something wrong with them." The rest followed suit in the comment, trying to turn it into a joke. I took a deep breath and excused myself from the conversation and walked away. In that moment, I was reminded that the biggest challenge my son will have is the willingness of the rest of society to accept him.

Should I have called their attention to the unkindness of their comments? I do not want to abuse my position or create an uncomfortable work environment. I thought about talking to them about it, trying to open their perspective, but it might look like a "holier than thou" affair. -- Dad With Hope, Fairfax, Va.

DEAR DAD WITH HOPE: One of the greatest challenges we have is being able to live the standards that we say we believe. We often have lofty goals. Indeed, our country was founded on some of the loftiest principles. We have legislated many measures to protect us against our baser nature. And yet discrimination and stereotyping are still very much alive. Anyone who has the ability to see when offensive behavior is occurring has the opportunity to help open the eyes of those who are the offenders.

You are in the wonderful and sensitive position of being able to educate your staff on the value of the policy of hiring without discrimination. Yes, you definitely should talk to them about their comments. Do not scold them. Instead, gather them and tell them that you have given a lot of thought to what they said. You may want to share your personal story of the hope that you had when you started this job and how it made you believe there will be a chance for your child. Or you can keep it generic. Most important is that you give them a concrete understanding of the importance of valuing everyone in your work culture.

I read a fantastic book by scholar Malidoma Some, called "Of Water and the Spirit." In it, he explains that in his Burkina Faso, Africa, village when he was growing up, everyone was valued. Every single person had a viable role in the village. Those who were disabled were considered special, often as gatekeepers between everyday life and the hereafter. The point is that no one was considered worthless.

As time goes by, if you remain consistent you can teach your team that every person there is valuable by pointing out what each person is good at doing.