DEAR HARRIETTE: I am not sure what I should be calling my father-in-law’s third wife. I introduce her as my father-in-law’s wife, but I do not say mother-in-law, since she is not my husband’s mother. Some people I have asked say that she is my mother-in-law, but I do not think that is correct. Please help me! -- Lawful, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR LAWFUL: For now, it is fine for you to introduce this woman as your father-in-law’s wife, and then add her first name. Be respectful when you introduce her. If they are newly married, you could introduce her with the excitement appropriate for the new relationship. As you get to know her, you may choose to give her a name of endearment.

What does your husband say? What does he call her? You can take his lead on this one as you are talking about his family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, you responded to a woman who got in trouble for taking a long vacation with her children. She goes back to her country for a month. Her husband never accompanies them due to work. Now he wants her to stop traveling because he wants to share time with the children. You told her to consider that he has the right to spend vacation with the children. But isn't he working during their break?

I have a similar experience. My American husband doesn't want me to go to my country. We don't have children. I still go. There, I have my family who didn't immigrate here. They're having a good life there. I am here just because of marriage.

Why are husbands selfish? My husband doesn't want to come with me either. I go all the same.

I think in this lady's case, she should communicate better with her husband and convince him to go with her. That way, his mind will open up to a different world, not a bad one. He will experience being a member of the family abroad. At least he should try. America is not the only place in the world, and the children are getting richer in traditions, culture and affection. -- Just a Commenter, New Orleans

DEAR JUST A COMMENTER: My point about the original question was that it is wise to work together and agree about vacations with the children. This makes for a healthier, more respectful life. I do not mean, however, that a spouse should not be able to travel overseas -- or anywhere else for that matter -- to visit family. Given the friction that occurs frequently when family members "take" their children abroad without agreement and sometimes do not return, there is a heightened sensitivity right now on this subject.

That said, I agree with you that the American parent/spouse in an international family should actively choose to visit the other family members and cultivate a relationship with them. It should be a two-way street. I do not think it is just husbands who are guilty of not wanting to make that trip, though.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Would you please do me -- and the world -- a favor and inform people and businesses that not everyone has or carries a cellphone? I can't scan something without a cellphone! No, I'm not lying when I tell you I don't have one.

Is it so out there that I do not feel the need for a cellphone? My children have them, and my grandchildren have them. I see lots of people with their phones glued to their ears, talking about nothing. When my grandchildren are home, all they do is text, but they're saying nothing. I would prefer to talk to a friend. If my grandkids send me a card, I can't believe the writing -- or should say lack of. Everything is shortcut words that I don't understand half the time.

I don't have any intention of getting a cellphone. I have a home phone with caller ID.

Another big problem is that not everyone has a computer. If you don't believe me, go to a library. All PC stations will be filled with kids and adults waiting for their turn. As soon as a business answers a phone, it tells you how you can reach it by the www.whatever stuff. I have a desktop and an iPad, but I know people who do not. These assumptions are a problem for a lot of people -- especially the elderly. -- No Cellphone, W.Va.

DEAR NO CELLPHONE: Though I do rely on my cellphone as so many others do in our culture, I agree that there is no comparison to face-to-face conversation. Human interaction remains very important. Relying on technology to connect people has been the cause of many miscommunications.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 60-year-old owner of a funeral home. While I have loved running this business for more than a decade, I have realized that I would like to pursue a new career and explore new things. In order to do so, I would have to go back to school, learn new skills and trust someone else to run my business. I want the business to thrive, but I would also like to begin doing new things. Is it worth it to start over? -- Moving On, Atlanta

DEAR MOVING ON: I am a big believer in pursuing your dreams. You just need to be savvy about how you execute your plan. Start by finding someone you can train to run your business. It will take time to put someone in that leadership role. As you are looking, decide what your next career pursuit will be. Find out what schools offer courses in that field of interest and apply. Continue to pay attention to your business as you spread your wings and cultivate new talents.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This June, I'll be graduating from college, and I'm elated because all of my hard work will pay off. During my senior year, I moved to New York City and fell in love with a gentleman. I broke up with him because I knew he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, even though he genuinely loves me. I am totally fine with us not being committed to each other because we still have a strong bond and continue to build our friendship. It doesn't hurt because I knew loving another person was new for him and he needed to take baby steps.

With that said -- and with graduation around the corner -- I'm conflicted about bringing him home. I understand our situation, but I worry what my father may think about me bringing home a man to whom I'm not committed. Am I overthinking this situation, or should I bring him home? -- Friendly, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR FRIENDLY: Bringing home an ex for your graduation definitely sends a mixed message to your family. Listen to your inner voice. It is telling you that you need to figure out what your relationship is. You sound tremendously conflicted about him. Think about what you want now and what you are able to have now. If the romance is over, are you truly willing to accept that? Many people who break up need time apart before they are able to find their way to a platonic friendship. Listen to your heart and honor what you hear.

As far as bringing him home, I would not do it. You will face a barrage of questions which neither of you can comfortably answer right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love shoes! I spend about $400 for a great pair, and I think I may need to slow down on the impulse purchases. I have a daughter who's in her second year of high school, and she is planning to go out of state for college. I can afford to purchase the shoes, but I think it would be in my best interest to put some extra money aside for my daughter's education. Do you have any suggestions on how can I curb my shoe purchases? -- A Mom in Need, San Francisco

DEAR MOM IN NEED: The good news is that you see that you have a problem. Loving shoes is one thing. Budgeting for your family's life is quite another. The fact that you allow this impulse buying even as you recognize that the bigger picture calls for you to make other choices says that you need help. Find a meeting of Debtors Anonymous in your town (debtorsanonymous.org). With its (free) support, you can face your financial challenges and develop smarter strategies for how to manage your money.

You may also want to establish a college fund for your daughter where money is taken out of your check before you see it. If it goes directly there, the temptation to spend it will be reduced. A 529 plan is one option: savingforcollege.com/intro_to_529s/what-is-a-529-plan.php.