DEAR HARRIETTE: This June, I'll be graduating from college, and I'm elated because all of my hard work will pay off. During my senior year, I moved to New York City and fell in love with a gentleman. I broke up with him because I knew he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, even though he genuinely loves me. I am totally fine with us not being committed to each other because we still have a strong bond and continue to build our friendship. It doesn't hurt because I knew loving another person was new for him and he needed to take baby steps.

With that said -- and with graduation around the corner -- I'm conflicted about bringing him home. I understand our situation, but I worry what my father may think about me bringing home a man to whom I'm not committed. Am I overthinking this situation, or should I bring him home? -- Friendly, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR FRIENDLY: Bringing home an ex for your graduation definitely sends a mixed message to your family. Listen to your inner voice. It is telling you that you need to figure out what your relationship is. You sound tremendously conflicted about him. Think about what you want now and what you are able to have now. If the romance is over, are you truly willing to accept that? Many people who break up need time apart before they are able to find their way to a platonic friendship. Listen to your heart and honor what you hear.

As far as bringing him home, I would not do it. You will face a barrage of questions which neither of you can comfortably answer right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love shoes! I spend about $400 for a great pair, and I think I may need to slow down on the impulse purchases. I have a daughter who's in her second year of high school, and she is planning to go out of state for college. I can afford to purchase the shoes, but I think it would be in my best interest to put some extra money aside for my daughter's education. Do you have any suggestions on how can I curb my shoe purchases? -- A Mom in Need, San Francisco

DEAR MOM IN NEED: The good news is that you see that you have a problem. Loving shoes is one thing. Budgeting for your family's life is quite another. The fact that you allow this impulse buying even as you recognize that the bigger picture calls for you to make other choices says that you need help. Find a meeting of Debtors Anonymous in your town (debtorsanonymous.org). With its (free) support, you can face your financial challenges and develop smarter strategies for how to manage your money.

You may also want to establish a college fund for your daughter where money is taken out of your check before you see it. If it goes directly there, the temptation to spend it will be reduced. A 529 plan is one option: savingforcollege.com/intro_to_529s/what-is-a-529-plan.php.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A close friend's boyfriend recently broke up with her. She was devastated, as she should have been. He broke up with her because he wanted to do his own thing and felt they spent too much time together. During their relationship, she was always complaining about what was lacking and how they argued too much. He had said for weeks that he needed his space, and her response would always be, "Do you want to break up?" Well now they have.

My advice to her was to take care of her emotions, but she didn't want to hear that. She told me that I "tapped out" of her situation, meaning I was over it, which isn't true. I was concerned about my friend. I just had no other advice to give because she knew the breakup was coming, and I'm cautious when speaking to her because she's never been one to handle the unconditional truth. Can you please tell me what I did wrong in this situation? -- Saddened, Chicago

DEAR SADDENED: As a friend, your job is to be a good listener. In times like these, nobody wins, especially the supportive friend. Where you were wrong was in giving any advice at all. Because your friend is hurt, she needs to lash out at someone. She cannot reach him, so she is taking it out on you.

What you could have done would be to tell her you love her and how sorry you are that her relationship ended. If she asked you for advice, you could have deflected and said that you did not have an answer for what she should do, but you want her to know that she does not have to be alone as she heals from this loss.

What you can do now is check in with her and find out how she is doing. Ask her if she would like to get together. See if you can create activities that you two can do together that will be soothing for her and not focused on him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is 45 years old, and he is addicted to playing video games. Every two weeks, my husband spends almost one-fourth of his paycheck on the latest games. He is a hard worker, and playing video games is a way for him to unwind. Still, I would like for my husband to spend less time playing the video games and more time taking his wife out. -- What a Wife Wants, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR WHAT A WIFE WANTS: Rather than disparaging him for playing the video games -- which will only make him annoyed -- lure him away with an invitation to go on a date. Establish "date night" once a week with him where you two do something fun. Select activities that you believe he will enjoy. If he gets into hanging out with you again, he may choose to play video games less.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who wears a very thick, oversized metal bracelet on her arm. Whenever she writes or moves around the mouse on her computer, the bracelet hits the top of her desk, and it makes a loud clanging sound. Given how much she moves her arm, this clanging happens dozens of times each day. Every time she does it, the sound of the clanging bracelet makes my skin crawl and my ears hurt. It greatly distracts me from being able to accomplish everything I need to in the course of a workday. I know I'm not the only person in my office who is irritated by the sound of her bracelet. They've all apparently tried drowning out the noise by using earplugs and iPods, tuning it out, all to no avail. My co-worker is a nice lady, and I'd like to ask her to remove the bracelet during work hours, but doing so would put her on the spot in front of the whole office and potentially humiliate her. But like I said, it's distracting me from getting my work done. Please give me some suggestions as to how to deal with this situation. -- Aching Ears and Losing Productivity, Washington, D.C.

DEAR ACHING EARS AND LOSING PRODUCTIVITY: Rather than sidestepping this woman, speak up. Tell her that the sound of her bracelet clanging constantly is terribly distracting. Ask her if she would take it off while she is working. She may not realize that she is causing a distraction.

If she does not respond favorably, speak to your direct supervisor and ask for support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked my parents for a $30,000 interest loan to cover a loss with my home, which I am selling due to an unexpected job relocation. They offered to gift me $20,000 and said if I needed more I could borrow it later. I refused the gift, but they stood strong and said if I wanted the money, that was the deal. After I received the $20,000, I wrote them a very nice note thanking them, but I felt like I should do something else. I did borrow an additional $10,000. After my loan is paid off, what should I do? Take them on a short trip? I don't know what to do, but the note didn't seem like enough to me. Please help! -- Grateful, Racine, Mich.

DEAR GRATEFUL: What a blessing it is that your parents had the money to share with you and that they chose to give it to you with no strings attached. I see why you want to do something special for them. You could invite them on a vacation. You could buy them something that you believe they would appreciate. But more, you can demonstrate to them how much you love and appreciate them by living a good life and sharing it with them. Stay in touch with them. Let them know how your life is blossoming. Choose to come home to visit them as regularly as you can. Be an active presence in their life.