DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned my father has heart failure and will need surgery to have a balloon placed in his heart. This information hurts emotionally, and I also feel stuck physically -- I live in New York City and my father is in Chicago. When I learned of my father's failing health, I told a good friend who's been having trouble with her mother, and her response was to be strong and to keep him in my prayers. I thanked her, and before I knew it, the conversation went back to her and her situation with her mother, which has been proceeding for a while. I was completely shocked and felt dismissed. What kind of friend is she for disregarding my feelings? How should I address my friend's dismissive behavior? -- Dissed, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR DISSED: It is likely that your friend is totally self-absorbed, consumed by the troubles her family is going through. She may have little awareness of how troubled she is by her mother's plight. From that view, she may not realize that she was insensitive to you. Chances are she believes she acknowledged your father's challenge adequately.

What you can do is tell her how you feel. Follow up with her and let her know that your feelings are hurt because she did not seem to care much about your family crisis even though you have been there for her consistently as she has been dealing with her mother's failing health. Let her know that you need her support and her attentive ear right now. It is likely that she will apologize and say that she didn't realize she was being insensitive.

I will add, though, that a friend who is dealing with her own parental crisis may not have the emotional space to be there for you as you want and need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a senior in college and I have had trouble identifying the career I would like to pursue. I see myself as an author, a therapist, an artist ... a "Jackie of all trades"! I just don't know where to start. Can I pursue all of my career dreams without making a big mess of my life? -- Choiceless, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR CHOICELESS: Here's the thing: You can pursue your various dreams, just not all at the same time. I recommend that you choose to first pursue the career path where you have the most experience. If you have had internships or job experience of any kind in one of your areas of interest, seek employment in that area so you can build on your experience. Master that career goal and then add another. In this way you can be successful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What do you do when you're in a relationship but you want to start dating again? I met this man on Facebook, and I would like to take him out for his birthday. He is handsome, and he is someone with whom I can see myself having a relationship. We started to correspond via email for a few weeks until we exchanged phone numbers. Talking on the phone is just easier. My male friend liked the idea of going out for his birthday, and that made my heart smile.

During one of our numerous conversations, I told my male friend that I was married and that my husband and I have been separated for 15 years. To my surprise, he was taken aback by the statement. He told me that he doesn't want a woman who is married. I told him it was not a big deal. I really like this guy, and I want to see what develops from our friendship. I am not planning to divorce my husband anytime soon. I am lonely and want companionship. What is a woman to do? -- Till Death Do Us Part?, Baltimore

DEAR TILL DEATH DO US PART?: Why are you surprised at your suitor's surprise? I think it is a good thing that a man does not want to date a woman who is married. That you are separated is different from married, and you admit that you are not planning to get divorced anytime soon. Why is that? Are you benefiting in some way from being married to your husband even though you have not been together for years? Is being married a safety for you?

You are living in that space of having your cake and wanting to eat it, too. You are legally married but not with your husband. You are lonely and want companionship, but you are not legally available to receive it. You may want to thank this suitor for making your dilemma so obvious. Do yourself a favor: Take care of first things first. Clear the way to have a healthy new relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor from back home died several years ago. I was included in his will, which went through years of sluggish movement in the court system. Finally, I have been told what was left to me, and I don't even want it. I feel so stupid having held onto this notion that I was really getting something. What do I do if I don't want it? -- Willed Out, Shreveport, La.

DEAR WILLED OUT: You should have received information from the estate explaining that you do not have to accept the items. Essentially, you need to get in touch with the official person in charge of the dispersion of the will. Explain that while you appreciate your neighbor's gesture, you will be unable to use the item(s) left for you. Suggest that the administrator of the estate dispose of it in whatever way he or she sees fit -- or search for another family member who may appreciate that which isn't right for you at this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I walked in on a conversation that my 9-year-old daughter had with one of her friends. At first, I thought they were just laughing and sharing a moment with each other. That was not the case: The girls were saying some bad things about one of their classmates because she wore the same clothes just about every day of the week. I was disappointed and shocked that these words were coming out of my child's mouth. I did not raise her to judge people by what they wear. I am fortunate enough to have resources to make sure that my children are properly clothed. I think I may need to teach my children a lesson about helping the less fortunate. Do you have any suggestions on how I should approach this matter? -- Mom in Shock, New York City

DEAR MOM IN SHOCK: Consider this a teachable moment. You could have spoken to the two girls at the same time, questioning them about their conversation and its tone. In the spirit of clarification, you could have talked to them about the damaging nature of their conversation.

Since you did not, by all means double back to your daughter. Ask her to tell you what she and her friend were discussing. Prompt her to be forthcoming about her conversation, and gently nudge her toward revealing more about the other student and her circumstances. Next, ask her about her life and the privileges that she receives. Do these things make her "better than" that other girl? Chances are she will not say "yes" because you have been teaching her otherwise. Point out that when you make fun of someone because the person is less fortunate than you, the behavior is cruel. Have your daughter consider how she would feel if someone were speaking about her in that way. Do some role-playing with her so that the impact of the unkind words becomes real to her. Make it crystal clear that you do not condone such behavior. Instead of criticizing, what you would prefer would be to see if you could offer the student clothing or other necessities to help make her life easier.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your recent column in my local newspaper, "Unemployed Man Who Wants Checkup," provided a link for additional information about health coverage for unemployed workers. The link does not indicate what state will provide information for this man, but I think it is California.

Is there a similar link for me? -- Unemployed in Pennsylvania, Scranton, Pa.

DEAR UNEMPLOYED IN PENNSYLVANIA: As I did research to find a source for health insurance for the unemployed in your state, I found something else that is worthy of note. It turns out that nationally, as a result of sequestration, there have been cuts in unemployment benefits nationwide. Unfortunately, you may already be experiencing this. See this link for more information: www.uc.pa.gov/portal/server.pt/community/the_official_pennsylvania_unemployment_compensation_website_%E2%80%93_www_uc_pa_gov/11449.

As it relates to health insurance support while unemployed, there is hope. Visit pennsylvaniaunemployed.org/benefits.php. You can also call the Department of Public Welfare Helpline at 1-800-692-7462.