DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I disagree on a lot of points regarding parenting. I am actually surprised by some of his views, but I get it -- two people don't necessarily believe all the same things. My issue is that he makes his declarations about how things are going to be in front of our kids without any discussion with me. So, for example, if I am feeding my kids something and he just read that this particular food is not the best, he will reprimand them for eating it as I am serving it. I'm not talking about anything horrible. My husband is into holistic things, and as he learns something he wants to apply it immediately. I have asked him to talk to me about it first, but he never does. What can I do to get him to co-parent with me rather than create a scene on a regular basis? -- Frustrated, Denver

DEAR FRUSTRATED: There's nothing wrong with learning new information and wanting to apply that knowledge to your life. How you do it seems to be what's in question.

When you and your husband are not in the midst of a disagreement, ask him if you can chat. Tell him that you respect his hunger for knowledge about healthy living and eating and that you are interested in what he is discovering. Then, make it clear that you believe it is important to the health of your family that the two of you, the adults, discuss his ideas and agree on a plan of action before anything is conveyed to the children. Tell him that otherwise your children will be receiving conflicting messages on a regular basis and their trust in each of you will erode along with their understanding and clarity on what is best for their lives. Tell him you know he wants the best for them. Suggest that this includes the best way for the two of you to work together. Being a united front is far more effective than spontaneous, inflammatory course corrections.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A boy in my son's class just got a new iPhone. He is in third grade! My son came home jockeying for one for himself. He figured that if his friend could have one, so should he. It is so difficult to teach my child about what's age-appropriate when his peers seem to get whatever they want, whenever they want it. How do I manage his expectations? -- At a Loss, Washington, D.C.

DEAR AT A LOSS: Your job is to teach your child your family's values. You have to be careful not to place a judgment on other families and their choices, but feel free to tell your son that you do not think it is wise to give a child that young such a fragile electronic. Also, explain your policy on phones at his age, whatever that is.

Know that throughout your son's life, especially while he is young, you will be setting his vision for how to live. This will constantly include helping him accept that not everyone makes the same choices, and that is fine. He needs to find comfort in the decisions that your family makes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My relationship with my mother means the world to me. My childhood, from adolescence through my teens, was rocky. It wasn't until I went to college that we became extremely close. When I came home from college to continue my education, that's when my mom became my best friend. The last three years have been crucial to our relationship.

My mom purchased her first home last month. It's a beautiful five-bedroom Victorian home -- something she's always wanted. This is a major accomplishment because her past life would've made this purchase impossible. However, my biggest issue with our new home is not being allowed to invite family over because she doesn't have a great relationship with them. My mom doesn't even speak to her mother. I understand there's a lot of pain and past issues from her childhood, but it's starting to wear on me. Because of the distance, it's difficult to plan family functions. My graduation is around the corner and my mom wants to plan a graduation party, but I can't invite my family. Harriette, is it right of my mother to deprive me of having my family at my graduation party? -- Wanting a Reunion, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR WANTING A REUNION: Your mother has the right to host who she wants at her home, even though this seems unfair to you. Whatever the reasons your mother does not get along with her mother and other family members, you have no control over that. At the same time, it is perfectly understandable that you want to see your grandmother and other family members at this important time in your life.

If you want to include them in a celebration, you have options. Create a celebration in a neutral place where all family members are welcome. Or have a separate event that includes the other family members in addition to the event your mother has planned. You may even want to ask your grandmother or other members to have a small dinner at one of their homes where you can come to be with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex called and asked me to go to dinner with him. When I asked him why, he said it was a surprise. I am so nervous about this meeting. I still have feelings for him, and I think it would be devastating if he decided to announce an engagement or something. What should I do? -- Ex-Claiming, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR EX-CLAIMING: You can call him back for clarification and be up-front. Tell him, with a touch of humor in your voice, that as much as you would enjoy seeing him, you are not ready to be a bridesmaid in his wedding or meet his fiancee. Ask him to spare you the face-to-face if that is his news. If he says he still wants to meet, proceed with caution. Be prepared to tell him how you feel if you do get together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter received an invitation to attend her high school's junior prom, and, as her mother, I have a few reservations about her attending the dance. My daughter has performed poorly in school, and I don't think it would be a good idea for her to go at this time. I told her the bad news, and she was disappointed by my response. I explained why she can't attend her junior prom, and she accepted the lecture. Do you think I was too hard on my daughter? -- Momma Knows Best?, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR MOMMA KNOWS BEST?: I understand wanting to take away privileges when your child is not performing well in school, though I am not sure that this is an effective choice in this moment. Depending upon the reasons why your daughter is not doing well in school determines a lot. One option could have been for you to use the prom as enticement for her to attempt to perform better in school. You could negotiate terms with her for attendance based on behavioral and/or academic shifts. Punishment does not always work.

Additionally, you may want to investigate more thoroughly to find out the root of her problems. Meet with her guidance counselor and teachers to figure out why she is not performing well. She may need a tutor or a psychologist. Solving challenges at school is rarely simple. Taking away a desirable activity may seem to be a solution, but it may be touching only the surface of her issues. For insight into this challenge, read: livestrong.com/article/180615-how-to-encourage-my-teenage-child-to-do-well-in-school/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter got into an argument with her best friend in class. Ever since then, their relationship has been a bit strained. My daughter has reached out to her friend a couple of times to see if they can have a play date, but so far nothing. The girls are only 10 years old. I want to help my daughter learn that you can disagree and still remain friends, but I cannot make the other girl want to do this. What are my options? -- Distressed Friend's Mom, New York City

DEAR DISTRESSED FRIEND'S MOM: The cold water in your face is that you cannot protect your daughter from everything or fix every problem she faces. You can talk to her about the argument and learn more about what caused the rift between the girls. Learn what your daughter's role was in the disagreement and how it ended. Find out if the girls have had more words since.

There is a chance that their disconnection is not based on the disagreement. It could be that the girl is simply busy. Or her feelings could still be hurt. Teach your daughter to apologize for whatever she did that was wrong and then to back off. She should not beg the girl for her friendship. If you feel you need to dig deeper, check in with the girl's mom to see if there is more to the story.