DEAR HARRIETTE: My relationship with my mother means the world to me. My childhood, from adolescence through my teens, was rocky. It wasn't until I went to college that we became extremely close. When I came home from college to continue my education, that's when my mom became my best friend. The last three years have been crucial to our relationship.

My mom purchased her first home last month. It's a beautiful five-bedroom Victorian home -- something she's always wanted. This is a major accomplishment because her past life would've made this purchase impossible. However, my biggest issue with our new home is not being allowed to invite family over because she doesn't have a great relationship with them. My mom doesn't even speak to her mother. I understand there's a lot of pain and past issues from her childhood, but it's starting to wear on me. Because of the distance, it's difficult to plan family functions. My graduation is around the corner and my mom wants to plan a graduation party, but I can't invite my family. Harriette, is it right of my mother to deprive me of having my family at my graduation party? -- Wanting a Reunion, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR WANTING A REUNION: Your mother has the right to host who she wants at her home, even though this seems unfair to you. Whatever the reasons your mother does not get along with her mother and other family members, you have no control over that. At the same time, it is perfectly understandable that you want to see your grandmother and other family members at this important time in your life.

If you want to include them in a celebration, you have options. Create a celebration in a neutral place where all family members are welcome. Or have a separate event that includes the other family members in addition to the event your mother has planned. You may even want to ask your grandmother or other members to have a small dinner at one of their homes where you can come to be with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex called and asked me to go to dinner with him. When I asked him why, he said it was a surprise. I am so nervous about this meeting. I still have feelings for him, and I think it would be devastating if he decided to announce an engagement or something. What should I do? -- Ex-Claiming, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR EX-CLAIMING: You can call him back for clarification and be up-front. Tell him, with a touch of humor in your voice, that as much as you would enjoy seeing him, you are not ready to be a bridesmaid in his wedding or meet his fiancee. Ask him to spare you the face-to-face if that is his news. If he says he still wants to meet, proceed with caution. Be prepared to tell him how you feel if you do get together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter received an invitation to attend her high school's junior prom, and, as her mother, I have a few reservations about her attending the dance. My daughter has performed poorly in school, and I don't think it would be a good idea for her to go at this time. I told her the bad news, and she was disappointed by my response. I explained why she can't attend her junior prom, and she accepted the lecture. Do you think I was too hard on my daughter? -- Momma Knows Best?, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR MOMMA KNOWS BEST?: I understand wanting to take away privileges when your child is not performing well in school, though I am not sure that this is an effective choice in this moment. Depending upon the reasons why your daughter is not doing well in school determines a lot. One option could have been for you to use the prom as enticement for her to attempt to perform better in school. You could negotiate terms with her for attendance based on behavioral and/or academic shifts. Punishment does not always work.

Additionally, you may want to investigate more thoroughly to find out the root of her problems. Meet with her guidance counselor and teachers to figure out why she is not performing well. She may need a tutor or a psychologist. Solving challenges at school is rarely simple. Taking away a desirable activity may seem to be a solution, but it may be touching only the surface of her issues. For insight into this challenge, read: livestrong.com/article/180615-how-to-encourage-my-teenage-child-to-do-well-in-school/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter got into an argument with her best friend in class. Ever since then, their relationship has been a bit strained. My daughter has reached out to her friend a couple of times to see if they can have a play date, but so far nothing. The girls are only 10 years old. I want to help my daughter learn that you can disagree and still remain friends, but I cannot make the other girl want to do this. What are my options? -- Distressed Friend's Mom, New York City

DEAR DISTRESSED FRIEND'S MOM: The cold water in your face is that you cannot protect your daughter from everything or fix every problem she faces. You can talk to her about the argument and learn more about what caused the rift between the girls. Learn what your daughter's role was in the disagreement and how it ended. Find out if the girls have had more words since.

There is a chance that their disconnection is not based on the disagreement. It could be that the girl is simply busy. Or her feelings could still be hurt. Teach your daughter to apologize for whatever she did that was wrong and then to back off. She should not beg the girl for her friendship. If you feel you need to dig deeper, check in with the girl's mom to see if there is more to the story.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 23-year-old woman graduating with my MBA this May. I've paid my way through college and grad school with no assistance. As a graduation present to myself, I'm having a party. I'm financing this party all by myself. Since this is a major accomplishment, I wish my family would ask or offer to help me plan, buy decorations or even if there's anything I need.

I feel they don't care, and whenever I speak with my mom about my party, she never seems interested. When I speak with my grandmother about the party, her response is, "I don't care what you do, just don't have it here!" Not having family support makes me upset, and I'd think they'd want to do all they can to help me celebrate a joyous occasion. Harriette, how do I let my family know my feelings without sounding childish? -- Longing for Family, Chicago

DEAR LONGING FOR FAMILY: For whatever your reasons, you have made your vision for your future come true independently. Given that your family has not been involved leading up to now, it is no surprise that they are not invested at celebration time.

You need to lower your expectations. You may also want to take a different approach. There is a chance that your family feels like you do not need them since you have done it all on your own. If they are not as highly educated as you, that could also be a source of strain for some. Yes, you would hope that they would be proud of your accomplishments -- and they may be. They just may not know how to engage you about it. Instead of looking for enthusiasm, plant some enthusiastic seeds. Ask your mother if she would like to help you decorate. Ask your grandmother if she would like to invite any of her friends. Ask things in bite-size nuggets, small enough that they can feel comfortable responding without feeling overwhelmed. Coax them into being a part of your celebration. Some of them may come around. Be sure to keep your good friends close, though, so that you have emotional support when you need it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a terrible habit of not checking my voice mail messages. I went to the ATM in an attempt to withdraw money out of my account. To my surprise, my account was frozen due to fraudulent activity. The bank left several messages on my phone a few days ago, and I could have had this matter solved had I checked my voice mail. Can you help me break this habit? -- One New Message, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR ONE NEW MESSAGE: Do you really need another bad experience in order to pay closer attention to checking your voice mail? Having your bank account frozen should be enough.

What you need to do is develop a ritual. Check your voice mail in the morning and in the evening. Write it down or put an alarm reminder in your phone, if you have a smartphone.