DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter received an invitation to attend her high school's junior prom, and, as her mother, I have a few reservations about her attending the dance. My daughter has performed poorly in school, and I don't think it would be a good idea for her to go at this time. I told her the bad news, and she was disappointed by my response. I explained why she can't attend her junior prom, and she accepted the lecture. Do you think I was too hard on my daughter? -- Momma Knows Best?, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR MOMMA KNOWS BEST?: I understand wanting to take away privileges when your child is not performing well in school, though I am not sure that this is an effective choice in this moment. Depending upon the reasons why your daughter is not doing well in school determines a lot. One option could have been for you to use the prom as enticement for her to attempt to perform better in school. You could negotiate terms with her for attendance based on behavioral and/or academic shifts. Punishment does not always work.

Additionally, you may want to investigate more thoroughly to find out the root of her problems. Meet with her guidance counselor and teachers to figure out why she is not performing well. She may need a tutor or a psychologist. Solving challenges at school is rarely simple. Taking away a desirable activity may seem to be a solution, but it may be touching only the surface of her issues. For insight into this challenge, read: livestrong.com/article/180615-how-to-encourage-my-teenage-child-to-do-well-in-school/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter got into an argument with her best friend in class. Ever since then, their relationship has been a bit strained. My daughter has reached out to her friend a couple of times to see if they can have a play date, but so far nothing. The girls are only 10 years old. I want to help my daughter learn that you can disagree and still remain friends, but I cannot make the other girl want to do this. What are my options? -- Distressed Friend's Mom, New York City

DEAR DISTRESSED FRIEND'S MOM: The cold water in your face is that you cannot protect your daughter from everything or fix every problem she faces. You can talk to her about the argument and learn more about what caused the rift between the girls. Learn what your daughter's role was in the disagreement and how it ended. Find out if the girls have had more words since.

There is a chance that their disconnection is not based on the disagreement. It could be that the girl is simply busy. Or her feelings could still be hurt. Teach your daughter to apologize for whatever she did that was wrong and then to back off. She should not beg the girl for her friendship. If you feel you need to dig deeper, check in with the girl's mom to see if there is more to the story.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 23-year-old woman graduating with my MBA this May. I've paid my way through college and grad school with no assistance. As a graduation present to myself, I'm having a party. I'm financing this party all by myself. Since this is a major accomplishment, I wish my family would ask or offer to help me plan, buy decorations or even if there's anything I need.

I feel they don't care, and whenever I speak with my mom about my party, she never seems interested. When I speak with my grandmother about the party, her response is, "I don't care what you do, just don't have it here!" Not having family support makes me upset, and I'd think they'd want to do all they can to help me celebrate a joyous occasion. Harriette, how do I let my family know my feelings without sounding childish? -- Longing for Family, Chicago

DEAR LONGING FOR FAMILY: For whatever your reasons, you have made your vision for your future come true independently. Given that your family has not been involved leading up to now, it is no surprise that they are not invested at celebration time.

You need to lower your expectations. You may also want to take a different approach. There is a chance that your family feels like you do not need them since you have done it all on your own. If they are not as highly educated as you, that could also be a source of strain for some. Yes, you would hope that they would be proud of your accomplishments -- and they may be. They just may not know how to engage you about it. Instead of looking for enthusiasm, plant some enthusiastic seeds. Ask your mother if she would like to help you decorate. Ask your grandmother if she would like to invite any of her friends. Ask things in bite-size nuggets, small enough that they can feel comfortable responding without feeling overwhelmed. Coax them into being a part of your celebration. Some of them may come around. Be sure to keep your good friends close, though, so that you have emotional support when you need it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a terrible habit of not checking my voice mail messages. I went to the ATM in an attempt to withdraw money out of my account. To my surprise, my account was frozen due to fraudulent activity. The bank left several messages on my phone a few days ago, and I could have had this matter solved had I checked my voice mail. Can you help me break this habit? -- One New Message, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR ONE NEW MESSAGE: Do you really need another bad experience in order to pay closer attention to checking your voice mail? Having your bank account frozen should be enough.

What you need to do is develop a ritual. Check your voice mail in the morning and in the evening. Write it down or put an alarm reminder in your phone, if you have a smartphone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old single woman. Recently, I went on a date with a 32-year-old man from Nigeria. The date was very nice -- we went to a Nigerian restaurant, and I tasted the cuisine for the first time. He talked to me about his life at home and shared interesting things about his culture. As the conversation went on, I learned that his expectations in a relationship are quite different from mine. For example, he believes his girlfriend/wife should adjust her career goals to accommodate her boyfriend/husband's goals, but not vice versa. Part of me is interested in getting to know more about him, but the other part is not sure that he is someone I should date. What should I do? -- Searching, Racine, Wis.

DEAR SEARCHING: Don't give up yet. It is true that different cultures have different points of view about life, family, work, etc. The point about Nigerians believing the female's work goals should be less important than the male's is not unique to that culture. Indeed, plenty of Americans still believe that. What is certain in a relationship is that clarification is important about such issues in order for you to find peace.

If you like this man enough to go on another date, invite him to a restaurant that reflects your taste and interests. Share some of your ideas on family, work and the future. Be honest as you communicate, and tell him when you feel you have reached a roadblock. See what unfolds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am responding to "Tax Snafu Threatens Student's Financial Aid." The college student should not stand for this treatment from the tax preparer. As a CPA and tax preparer for over 30 years, I am appalled at such a ridiculous situation.

The tax preparer should have given the student a copy of the return before it was e-filed, so that she could review it before signing the e-file authorization. This apparently wasn't done.

I cannot imagine what kind of a software glitch would prevent the tax preparer from printing out a copy for her. The worst-case scenario would be that she would have to take her tax information and recreate the return. That is, unless the software is totally fried, in which case they would be out of business for the rest of tax season. I doubt if that is the case.

It would appear that the tax preparer is simply too busy to stop what he or she is doing to help the college student, and is taking advantage of a vulnerable client. The preparer made the mistake, so he or she should take whatever course is necessary to fix it. The student should call the IRS Taxpayer Advocate office in her area immediately to file a complaint. She can go to IRS.gov and look up the number.

These kinds of activities by "nationally known tax preparers" are exactly why the IRS wants to regulate tax preparers. The public should not assume that being nationally known means competent, professional or ethical. -- Disgusted CPA, Des Moines, Iowa

DEAR DISGUSTED CPA: The scary part for many people is that when they do go to what is considered a reputable tax preparer and they end up with such a mess, they do not know where to turn next. Now that the rule is to file electronically, it should make the transaction simpler. This is just not always so.