DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old single woman. Recently, I went on a date with a 32-year-old man from Nigeria. The date was very nice -- we went to a Nigerian restaurant, and I tasted the cuisine for the first time. He talked to me about his life at home and shared interesting things about his culture. As the conversation went on, I learned that his expectations in a relationship are quite different from mine. For example, he believes his girlfriend/wife should adjust her career goals to accommodate her boyfriend/husband's goals, but not vice versa. Part of me is interested in getting to know more about him, but the other part is not sure that he is someone I should date. What should I do? -- Searching, Racine, Wis.

DEAR SEARCHING: Don't give up yet. It is true that different cultures have different points of view about life, family, work, etc. The point about Nigerians believing the female's work goals should be less important than the male's is not unique to that culture. Indeed, plenty of Americans still believe that. What is certain in a relationship is that clarification is important about such issues in order for you to find peace.

If you like this man enough to go on another date, invite him to a restaurant that reflects your taste and interests. Share some of your ideas on family, work and the future. Be honest as you communicate, and tell him when you feel you have reached a roadblock. See what unfolds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am responding to "Tax Snafu Threatens Student's Financial Aid." The college student should not stand for this treatment from the tax preparer. As a CPA and tax preparer for over 30 years, I am appalled at such a ridiculous situation.

The tax preparer should have given the student a copy of the return before it was e-filed, so that she could review it before signing the e-file authorization. This apparently wasn't done.

I cannot imagine what kind of a software glitch would prevent the tax preparer from printing out a copy for her. The worst-case scenario would be that she would have to take her tax information and recreate the return. That is, unless the software is totally fried, in which case they would be out of business for the rest of tax season. I doubt if that is the case.

It would appear that the tax preparer is simply too busy to stop what he or she is doing to help the college student, and is taking advantage of a vulnerable client. The preparer made the mistake, so he or she should take whatever course is necessary to fix it. The student should call the IRS Taxpayer Advocate office in her area immediately to file a complaint. She can go to IRS.gov and look up the number.

These kinds of activities by "nationally known tax preparers" are exactly why the IRS wants to regulate tax preparers. The public should not assume that being nationally known means competent, professional or ethical. -- Disgusted CPA, Des Moines, Iowa

DEAR DISGUSTED CPA: The scary part for many people is that when they do go to what is considered a reputable tax preparer and they end up with such a mess, they do not know where to turn next. Now that the rule is to file electronically, it should make the transaction simpler. This is just not always so.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is prom and graduation season, and my cousin is preparing for her big days. My cousin and I are extremely close, especially since we are both only children. I've always made it my duty as the older cousin to set stellar examples and to be a shoulder to lean on. Her mother has always appreciated our closeness, and my mom even helped raise her. For my cousin's graduation gift, I wanted to take her to Jamaica to celebrate, but her mother refused. I couldn't believe her response and asked why. My aunt's response was "because (she) said so." The conversation came as a complete shock. I've left it alone since then, but I'd love to revisit this situation. I am not sure how to approach her for the second time. Any suggestions? -- Taken Aback, Detroit

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: I believe you should revisit this with your aunt. Before you do, consider a few things. Going overseas is something that frightens some parents. There are too many news stories about young people who have gone missing or gotten hurt. I bet your aunt is basing her strong response on a potentially unfounded fear that she has about letting her precious baby go away. Though she probably does trust you, she may not be ready to let her daughter take such a big step.

Jamaica is a beautiful island. My husband is from there, and we have visited many times. As anywhere else, there are some sensitivities regarding safety on the island, but that does not mean that one should not travel there. In your aunt's mind, however, it could mean that she does not think you have the ability to protect her child. I would venture to say that your aunt's reaction was partly due to the reality that her daughter is growing up and otherwise due to her own agenda, which she obviously did not choose to share with you. By all means, ask her why she responded so strongly. Remind her that you love her daughter and would never do anything to put her in harm's way. Ask her to share her thought process with you. Maybe she will.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice regarding not buying a car and following the gut is spot-on. I bought a car from my wife's friend. Everything the friend told me about the car was untrue: The car had been in an accident; I needed to replace the catalytic convertor to the tune of $1,800; I had to replace the brakes; I had to replace the transmission shifter cable; and I paid $8,500 for a 5-year-old Toyota Corolla. I was experiencing financial difficulties at the time and was trying to be nice. I might have still bought the car, but I would have known what I was getting into.

We no longer have a relationship with that friend, and I did not keep the car for very long. Go to CarMax -- best way not to be taken advantage of. -- Been There, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEEN THERE: I second your motion! Stick with professionals and keep your friendships in tact.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I divorced in 2009. She has since remarried and returned the modest collection of letters and poems I wrote to her over the years. I'm no Langston Hughes or Gwendolyn Brooks, but I don't want to destroy them. Besides, I'm sentimental, and they remind me of a time when I was inspired to express my feelings in writing. I'm sure when I start dating someone else, she will not want my old love letters hanging around. Any suggestions on what I can do with them? -- Sentimental, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR SENTIMENTAL: I think it is lovely and incredibly thoughtful that your ex-wife treasured the letters and poems that you gave her enough to give them back to you. Clearly, she continues to value you even after your divorce.

Start by reading these letters again. Read them for the sentiment that you brought to them at the time. Put yourself back in those moments and remember what it felt like to be in love. When you meet someone new, you may want to ignite some of that sentiment in your new relationship.

Also read the letters for their literary value. Some of the greatest poetry was created when people were in love or falling out of love. Do you think there is any value in your writing for someone else? If so, you could gift them to your local school or library or even to family members who may value your personal sentiments. If you have children, they may relish in the words that once connected their parents. Sit with your words for a bit and let them tell you if it is time for you to destroy them or if there is a greater purpose that they may serve.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read your response to a young boss who hadn't been able to handle a disrespectful employee. Your suggestion that he get assistance from the HR department and issue a verbal warning if the behavior continued was good; however, I would also add that voluntary and eventually mandatory Employee Assistance Program counseling is also an option if the company has an EAP contract. As a retired EAP counselor, I found that my position offered some neutrality to the on-the-job behavior, as well as other personal issues that may be fueling the behavior. -- Counselor, Shreveport, La.

DEAR COUNSELOR: Thank you for suggesting this very important function in many companies. You are absolutely right that EAP counseling can be invaluable in helping troubled employees find a bridge back to more solid footing. In this program, people are able to confidentially address any manner of issues that may be plaguing them -- from professional to personal. Sometimes, issues that are bothering people at home do affect their behavior at work. An EAP counselor may be able to help a distressed employee unlock the key to what's bothering him or her and find the path back to a healthy way of being on the job. To learn more about this service, visit eappreferred.com/employees_families.html.