DEAR HARRIETTE: It is prom and graduation season, and my cousin is preparing for her big days. My cousin and I are extremely close, especially since we are both only children. I've always made it my duty as the older cousin to set stellar examples and to be a shoulder to lean on. Her mother has always appreciated our closeness, and my mom even helped raise her. For my cousin's graduation gift, I wanted to take her to Jamaica to celebrate, but her mother refused. I couldn't believe her response and asked why. My aunt's response was "because (she) said so." The conversation came as a complete shock. I've left it alone since then, but I'd love to revisit this situation. I am not sure how to approach her for the second time. Any suggestions? -- Taken Aback, Detroit

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: I believe you should revisit this with your aunt. Before you do, consider a few things. Going overseas is something that frightens some parents. There are too many news stories about young people who have gone missing or gotten hurt. I bet your aunt is basing her strong response on a potentially unfounded fear that she has about letting her precious baby go away. Though she probably does trust you, she may not be ready to let her daughter take such a big step.

Jamaica is a beautiful island. My husband is from there, and we have visited many times. As anywhere else, there are some sensitivities regarding safety on the island, but that does not mean that one should not travel there. In your aunt's mind, however, it could mean that she does not think you have the ability to protect her child. I would venture to say that your aunt's reaction was partly due to the reality that her daughter is growing up and otherwise due to her own agenda, which she obviously did not choose to share with you. By all means, ask her why she responded so strongly. Remind her that you love her daughter and would never do anything to put her in harm's way. Ask her to share her thought process with you. Maybe she will.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice regarding not buying a car and following the gut is spot-on. I bought a car from my wife's friend. Everything the friend told me about the car was untrue: The car had been in an accident; I needed to replace the catalytic convertor to the tune of $1,800; I had to replace the brakes; I had to replace the transmission shifter cable; and I paid $8,500 for a 5-year-old Toyota Corolla. I was experiencing financial difficulties at the time and was trying to be nice. I might have still bought the car, but I would have known what I was getting into.

We no longer have a relationship with that friend, and I did not keep the car for very long. Go to CarMax -- best way not to be taken advantage of. -- Been There, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEEN THERE: I second your motion! Stick with professionals and keep your friendships in tact.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I divorced in 2009. She has since remarried and returned the modest collection of letters and poems I wrote to her over the years. I'm no Langston Hughes or Gwendolyn Brooks, but I don't want to destroy them. Besides, I'm sentimental, and they remind me of a time when I was inspired to express my feelings in writing. I'm sure when I start dating someone else, she will not want my old love letters hanging around. Any suggestions on what I can do with them? -- Sentimental, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR SENTIMENTAL: I think it is lovely and incredibly thoughtful that your ex-wife treasured the letters and poems that you gave her enough to give them back to you. Clearly, she continues to value you even after your divorce.

Start by reading these letters again. Read them for the sentiment that you brought to them at the time. Put yourself back in those moments and remember what it felt like to be in love. When you meet someone new, you may want to ignite some of that sentiment in your new relationship.

Also read the letters for their literary value. Some of the greatest poetry was created when people were in love or falling out of love. Do you think there is any value in your writing for someone else? If so, you could gift them to your local school or library or even to family members who may value your personal sentiments. If you have children, they may relish in the words that once connected their parents. Sit with your words for a bit and let them tell you if it is time for you to destroy them or if there is a greater purpose that they may serve.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read your response to a young boss who hadn't been able to handle a disrespectful employee. Your suggestion that he get assistance from the HR department and issue a verbal warning if the behavior continued was good; however, I would also add that voluntary and eventually mandatory Employee Assistance Program counseling is also an option if the company has an EAP contract. As a retired EAP counselor, I found that my position offered some neutrality to the on-the-job behavior, as well as other personal issues that may be fueling the behavior. -- Counselor, Shreveport, La.

DEAR COUNSELOR: Thank you for suggesting this very important function in many companies. You are absolutely right that EAP counseling can be invaluable in helping troubled employees find a bridge back to more solid footing. In this program, people are able to confidentially address any manner of issues that may be plaguing them -- from professional to personal. Sometimes, issues that are bothering people at home do affect their behavior at work. An EAP counselor may be able to help a distressed employee unlock the key to what's bothering him or her and find the path back to a healthy way of being on the job. To learn more about this service, visit eappreferred.com/employees_families.html.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for a couple of months now, but we are "working on it." I love him, but working on it isn't enough. Recently, I have been flirting and spending phone and text time with another gentleman. I am really feeling him. He lives in another state and thinks I no longer speak to my ex, and he definitely doesn't know we are "working on it." He is coming to visit me soon, and I feel I should tell him the status of my ex and me -- what do you think? -- Teetering, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR TEETERING: Ever heard of the saying, "First things first"? This applies here. You need to handle your business. Do you want to be finished with the relationship with your ex-boyfriend? If so, end it. Tell him you don't want to "work on it," that it is over for you. Make a complete and clean break. Once you have ended that commitment, you have space to figure out if this other guy or someone else is worthy of your time and attention.

As far as the timing of this other guy's visit, if you have not finalized your relationship before he is expected to come, you should tell him that the relationship isn't over. You may want to recommend that he postpone his trip until you have gotten your house in order.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a senior with two classes left, which I'm finishing online. My graduation will be in my home state. My close friend is graduating as well, and hers is before mine. Of course I am proud of her, but her graduation party is becoming too consuming. I said I'd help plan and handle whatever I can, but now I am back in school. She has an attitude because I wasn't able to make it to a cake testing due to exams and is mad because I can't take work off the day of her party, even though I'll be there on time. Can you please give me advice on how to settle this? -- Stretched Too Thin, Chicago

DEAR STRETCHED TOO THIN: You need to manage expectations here. Sit your friend down and talk to her about what's going on in the coming days. Let her know how much you love her and how much you want to support her. And make it clear that you can do only so much. Be direct and specific about how you can help.

Let her know that because you, too, are headed toward graduation and finishing up classes, your time is limited. Ask for her understanding and support. She may remain mad, but at least you will have stated your situation as clearly as you are able.