DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I divorced in 2009. She has since remarried and returned the modest collection of letters and poems I wrote to her over the years. I'm no Langston Hughes or Gwendolyn Brooks, but I don't want to destroy them. Besides, I'm sentimental, and they remind me of a time when I was inspired to express my feelings in writing. I'm sure when I start dating someone else, she will not want my old love letters hanging around. Any suggestions on what I can do with them? -- Sentimental, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR SENTIMENTAL: I think it is lovely and incredibly thoughtful that your ex-wife treasured the letters and poems that you gave her enough to give them back to you. Clearly, she continues to value you even after your divorce.

Start by reading these letters again. Read them for the sentiment that you brought to them at the time. Put yourself back in those moments and remember what it felt like to be in love. When you meet someone new, you may want to ignite some of that sentiment in your new relationship.

Also read the letters for their literary value. Some of the greatest poetry was created when people were in love or falling out of love. Do you think there is any value in your writing for someone else? If so, you could gift them to your local school or library or even to family members who may value your personal sentiments. If you have children, they may relish in the words that once connected their parents. Sit with your words for a bit and let them tell you if it is time for you to destroy them or if there is a greater purpose that they may serve.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read your response to a young boss who hadn't been able to handle a disrespectful employee. Your suggestion that he get assistance from the HR department and issue a verbal warning if the behavior continued was good; however, I would also add that voluntary and eventually mandatory Employee Assistance Program counseling is also an option if the company has an EAP contract. As a retired EAP counselor, I found that my position offered some neutrality to the on-the-job behavior, as well as other personal issues that may be fueling the behavior. -- Counselor, Shreveport, La.

DEAR COUNSELOR: Thank you for suggesting this very important function in many companies. You are absolutely right that EAP counseling can be invaluable in helping troubled employees find a bridge back to more solid footing. In this program, people are able to confidentially address any manner of issues that may be plaguing them -- from professional to personal. Sometimes, issues that are bothering people at home do affect their behavior at work. An EAP counselor may be able to help a distressed employee unlock the key to what's bothering him or her and find the path back to a healthy way of being on the job. To learn more about this service, visit eappreferred.com/employees_families.html.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for a couple of months now, but we are "working on it." I love him, but working on it isn't enough. Recently, I have been flirting and spending phone and text time with another gentleman. I am really feeling him. He lives in another state and thinks I no longer speak to my ex, and he definitely doesn't know we are "working on it." He is coming to visit me soon, and I feel I should tell him the status of my ex and me -- what do you think? -- Teetering, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR TEETERING: Ever heard of the saying, "First things first"? This applies here. You need to handle your business. Do you want to be finished with the relationship with your ex-boyfriend? If so, end it. Tell him you don't want to "work on it," that it is over for you. Make a complete and clean break. Once you have ended that commitment, you have space to figure out if this other guy or someone else is worthy of your time and attention.

As far as the timing of this other guy's visit, if you have not finalized your relationship before he is expected to come, you should tell him that the relationship isn't over. You may want to recommend that he postpone his trip until you have gotten your house in order.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a senior with two classes left, which I'm finishing online. My graduation will be in my home state. My close friend is graduating as well, and hers is before mine. Of course I am proud of her, but her graduation party is becoming too consuming. I said I'd help plan and handle whatever I can, but now I am back in school. She has an attitude because I wasn't able to make it to a cake testing due to exams and is mad because I can't take work off the day of her party, even though I'll be there on time. Can you please give me advice on how to settle this? -- Stretched Too Thin, Chicago

DEAR STRETCHED TOO THIN: You need to manage expectations here. Sit your friend down and talk to her about what's going on in the coming days. Let her know how much you love her and how much you want to support her. And make it clear that you can do only so much. Be direct and specific about how you can help.

Let her know that because you, too, are headed toward graduation and finishing up classes, your time is limited. Ask for her understanding and support. She may remain mad, but at least you will have stated your situation as clearly as you are able.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a problem with my mother. She is flirting with my husband and has been for the five years she has lived near us. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage, but when my mother decided to move out of one state to live with us, I refused. I don't trust her, and I know she just used me to attract men. So she has lived about a mile from us for the last five years. She is 84 years old, hated my father for the 47 years they were married and still hates him even though he has been dead for eight years. My dad did everything she wanted. He gave her a nice home, cars and spending money -- he loved her even after they were divorced. She ran off with an older man, but that didn't last because his ex-wife took him back.

Now it seems like she wants my husband! She kisses him on the lips in front of me. I tell her that he is mine, and she laughs and says he is hers, too. Then she giggles and walks away. When my husband goes over to help her, she tricks him into kissing on the lips again. We have caught her in lies, but he just says that she's old. I hate what she is doing to our marriage. I love my husband and trust him completely. I don't trust my mother. We haven't been close for 40 years.

When my mother's sister died in 1996, my mother acted in a motherly way to my adult cousins. They think she is just the cutest, so they always come first with her. My brothers and I never hear from her unless she wants something. My younger brother won't do anything with our mother because she hates his wife.

So now I am saddled with her. I don't know what to say or do that will get into her head that I am serious that my husband is mine, and I don't share. -- Hands Off, Chicago

DEAR HANDS OFF: At 84, your mother is not likely to change. What you have described is unfortunate, but it does not have to damage your marriage. Your husband is not going to run away with your mother. If he chalks her behavior up to old age, it sounds like he is able to manage her inappropriateness without being too uncomfortable. He could also tell her to stop kissing him on the lips. He can stop reaching toward her to hug or kiss her at all. He is the one who has to do something, though. Your words and warnings are falling on deaf ears.

Since you know how your mother is, do your best to stop getting undone by it. Instead, focus your energy on your marriage. Continue to engage in intimate and fun activities with just you and your husband.