DEAR HARRIETTE: My district manager is always mocking me and busting my chops. He says I'm one of his favorites and he respects me, but sometimes he takes it too far. I've been with my company for seven years now, and the highest I have moved up is assistant manager. The district manager calls on me for everything from training staff at other stores to taking on certain key managerial roles, but he doesn't feel I'm ready for my own store. I've helped open and run five stores within my district. I really love the company and my peers, but I'm ready for a change. I'm tired of trying to work through the ranks, while others -- even people I've trained -- are moving up. I want to leave the company, but I don't want to lose out on the opportunity of possibly ever getting my own store. What should I do? -- Poised for Success, Washington, D.C.

DEAR POISED FOR SUCCESS: Why not have a talk with your district manager to set the course for your future success? Let him know your desire to take on more responsibility. Remind him in an affirmative, non-defensive way of your successes on behalf of the company thus far. Ask him what the benchmarks are that you need to reach in order to be ready to run your own store. Ask him to give you pointers on what he believes you need to do in order to meet those benchmarks. Demonstrate to him that you are a team player and that you want to rise in the company. See how he responds. That will help you know if you have a future with this company.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had to weigh in on the person who took offense to her superior's email request as being reasonable but too harsh. I have encountered this from the other perspective -- misunderstood, perhaps, because I was in a hurry, facing deadlines and needing quick help, or just passionate about the issue. I expect the other party to receive the email based on their knowledge of me and of our working relationship. It is impossible to accurately interpret tone of voice or intention in the written word. It is crucial to remember who is speaking and what you know of his or her personality. Hear the writer's voice reading the email rather than your own. Never follow up one disconcerting email with another. Face-to-face is the only way to truly know what the other person intended. Tone of voice, eye contact and body language can't be communicated by email. --Too Often Misunderstood, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TOO OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD: It is great to receive another perspective on such a prickly topic. You are right that it is wise for people to think outside of themselves when they are receiving communications. This includes employees who are reacting to communication from their bosses. As you well know, in the heat of the moment it can be difficult for either party to react calmly and with reason.

Your point about remembering who is speaking and what your relationship has been with that person is imperative. Then you can better ascertain what's going on. You may give your boss the benefit of the doubt because you know it has been a rough day, for example. Best of all is the point that communicating face-to-face yields more real results. If that is not possible, try the phone over an email exchange.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a kind and gregarious man. We have been married for more than 25 years, and he has always taken care of me. The thing that bothers me is that he has so many female friends. In his line of work, he has to engage a lot of women, so I have always understood that this is a reality of his work life. But I am tired of it. I feel like there is always another woman calling up asking for his advice or wanting to come over to visit. There seems to be a constant stream of females in and out of our lives.

I suppose I should be grateful that he doesn't hide them from me. I do not think he is having affairs with the women, by the way. I just think he enjoys the attention and has the reality of his work to make it OK. But I have had enough. I want my husband to myself. How can I make that happen? -- Tired of Sharing, Los Angeles

DEAR TIRED OF SHARING: The biggest challenge you face is that you didn't put the brakes on the "constant stream of females" for all these years. There is a clear pattern that exists in your marriage that incorporates these people. It may be jarring to your husband that suddenly, so many years later, you want the door to close.

That said, I believe that you deserve to have your husband's attention more squarely focused on the two of you and your marriage. You have to tell him how you feel. Acknowledge that you have been open to including these women in your lives for so long, but that you miss him and want to spend time with him without sharing his attention. Tell him that there would be no greater gift he could give you than to turn his attention to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This is in response to "Sympathetic Mom," who wrote about her son not being accepted into his dream college and asking how she could support him. Sometimes, when you don't get in through the front door, you can get in through the back. She stated that he was accepted into another college. My advice? Go to that college and get top grades. Then, in two years, apply for a transfer to his dream college. Hopefully, most of his credits will transfer, and he will be able to get his degree from his first-choice school. Another possible plus? He may save lots of tuition money during those first two years. He may also find, after two years, that he has fallen in love with the backup school and decide to scrap Plan A altogether! -- Optimistic, Chicago

DEAR OPTIMISTIC: Interestingly, community colleges are becoming popular again as ways for students to begin their education, build up their GPAs and transfer to the school of their dreams or one close to that. And, yes, the cost can be significantly lower.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I visit my sister, I leave frustrated. She is so bossy. For the entire time we are together, she tells me what to do and when. I always feel like I'm on pins and needles. When I visit, I stay in her house, which makes it that much worse -- it's her turf. I do appreciate being able to visit her, as she lives far away from our family. But honestly, we are both adults (well into our 40s), and I am sick of her and her ways. When I have told her how I feel, she says I am too sensitive. Maybe so, but I have had enough. -- Over Sibling Squabbles, Philadelphia

DEAR OVER SIBLING SQUABBLES: You have to change the dynamics of your relationship. That likely means staying somewhere else when you visit. Do you have friends who live in her town? Is there a nearby hotel or motel that is affordable? By redefining the way in which you engage, you create the opportunity to shake up the old ways and define new terms.

In the moment, you can also speak up for yourself. Without arguing, you can stand your ground. If she pushes you about something that you consider to be unreasonable, say so. Tell her to back off, that you need some space, that you are not going to do whatever it is she has requested.

Ultimately, you may also decide that you are going to visit with less frequency. For the most part, people are the way they are. It is unhealthy for you to keep up your desire to stay close to your sister, though, if what you actually experience is hostility. For more support, read "Why Can't We Get Along: Healing Adult Sibling Relationships" by Peter Goldenthal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I looked in the mirror the other day and had to gasp. I'm not quite sure when it happened, but I have gained a tremendous amount of weight. I used to be so cute and hip. Now I am fat. It will come as no surprise that I do not exercise much at all. I work a million hours to take care of my family. I am afraid that if I don't do something, though, really bad things might happen. How can I turn my life around? -- Almost Obese, Salt Lake City

DEAR ALMOST OBESE: You've taken the first step -- recognizing the truth about your body. Next, schedule a physical. Find out everything that is right and everything that needs improvement in your body. Ask your internist for a referral to a nutritionist. If you are considered obese, your insurance will likely cover this service. Learn how to eat more conscientiously. And choose some kind of physical activity to get your body moving. If you can, find a buddy who will support you as you begin your journey to wellness.