DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a kind and gregarious man. We have been married for more than 25 years, and he has always taken care of me. The thing that bothers me is that he has so many female friends. In his line of work, he has to engage a lot of women, so I have always understood that this is a reality of his work life. But I am tired of it. I feel like there is always another woman calling up asking for his advice or wanting to come over to visit. There seems to be a constant stream of females in and out of our lives.

I suppose I should be grateful that he doesn't hide them from me. I do not think he is having affairs with the women, by the way. I just think he enjoys the attention and has the reality of his work to make it OK. But I have had enough. I want my husband to myself. How can I make that happen? -- Tired of Sharing, Los Angeles

DEAR TIRED OF SHARING: The biggest challenge you face is that you didn't put the brakes on the "constant stream of females" for all these years. There is a clear pattern that exists in your marriage that incorporates these people. It may be jarring to your husband that suddenly, so many years later, you want the door to close.

That said, I believe that you deserve to have your husband's attention more squarely focused on the two of you and your marriage. You have to tell him how you feel. Acknowledge that you have been open to including these women in your lives for so long, but that you miss him and want to spend time with him without sharing his attention. Tell him that there would be no greater gift he could give you than to turn his attention to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This is in response to "Sympathetic Mom," who wrote about her son not being accepted into his dream college and asking how she could support him. Sometimes, when you don't get in through the front door, you can get in through the back. She stated that he was accepted into another college. My advice? Go to that college and get top grades. Then, in two years, apply for a transfer to his dream college. Hopefully, most of his credits will transfer, and he will be able to get his degree from his first-choice school. Another possible plus? He may save lots of tuition money during those first two years. He may also find, after two years, that he has fallen in love with the backup school and decide to scrap Plan A altogether! -- Optimistic, Chicago

DEAR OPTIMISTIC: Interestingly, community colleges are becoming popular again as ways for students to begin their education, build up their GPAs and transfer to the school of their dreams or one close to that. And, yes, the cost can be significantly lower.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I visit my sister, I leave frustrated. She is so bossy. For the entire time we are together, she tells me what to do and when. I always feel like I'm on pins and needles. When I visit, I stay in her house, which makes it that much worse -- it's her turf. I do appreciate being able to visit her, as she lives far away from our family. But honestly, we are both adults (well into our 40s), and I am sick of her and her ways. When I have told her how I feel, she says I am too sensitive. Maybe so, but I have had enough. -- Over Sibling Squabbles, Philadelphia

DEAR OVER SIBLING SQUABBLES: You have to change the dynamics of your relationship. That likely means staying somewhere else when you visit. Do you have friends who live in her town? Is there a nearby hotel or motel that is affordable? By redefining the way in which you engage, you create the opportunity to shake up the old ways and define new terms.

In the moment, you can also speak up for yourself. Without arguing, you can stand your ground. If she pushes you about something that you consider to be unreasonable, say so. Tell her to back off, that you need some space, that you are not going to do whatever it is she has requested.

Ultimately, you may also decide that you are going to visit with less frequency. For the most part, people are the way they are. It is unhealthy for you to keep up your desire to stay close to your sister, though, if what you actually experience is hostility. For more support, read "Why Can't We Get Along: Healing Adult Sibling Relationships" by Peter Goldenthal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I looked in the mirror the other day and had to gasp. I'm not quite sure when it happened, but I have gained a tremendous amount of weight. I used to be so cute and hip. Now I am fat. It will come as no surprise that I do not exercise much at all. I work a million hours to take care of my family. I am afraid that if I don't do something, though, really bad things might happen. How can I turn my life around? -- Almost Obese, Salt Lake City

DEAR ALMOST OBESE: You've taken the first step -- recognizing the truth about your body. Next, schedule a physical. Find out everything that is right and everything that needs improvement in your body. Ask your internist for a referral to a nutritionist. If you are considered obese, your insurance will likely cover this service. Learn how to eat more conscientiously. And choose some kind of physical activity to get your body moving. If you can, find a buddy who will support you as you begin your journey to wellness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was laid off from my job about a year ago, and I need to get my yearly physical. My insurance expired a few months ago, and I need to find an affordable way to see the doctor. I am 42-year-old male. Do you have any suggestions? -- Get Fit, Los Angeles

DEAR GET FIT: I feel your pain. There are too many people who choose to be responsible for their health and want to take the right steps but cannot afford to do so. Since you did have insurance, check to see if COBRA can still support you. Perhaps the time limit for the insurance program is not up yet. Talk to your insurance company about any extensions that you might be able to request. Sometimes there are options that are not commonly revealed. Here is a link to more information about health coverage for unemployed workers in your state: edd.ca.gov/jobs_and_Training/Health_Coverage_for_Unemployed_Workers.htm.

Beyond this, if you have any money, you can go to one of those walk-in health facilities that offer physicals and other health services. Let them know you are unemployed -- you may be able to receive a discount. What will not work is going to a hospital emergency room, which many indigent people use as the doctor's office. Emergency room care should be limited to real emergencies. Doctors there do not check for overall physical health.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a date this past weekend with a beautiful woman who I have been trying to see for some time now. For our date, we went to a book signing party. The book signing party and subsequent dance party was amazing, and we had great time. During the dance party, we had an interesting conversation about a possible relationship. What came out of the dialogue was that she was okay with being friends. I said OK, but I would like to see what could come out of a potential relationship. Do you think I should pursue a different relationship and just be friends with this woman? -- Just Friends, Chicago

DEAR JUST FRIENDS: Did you tell her that you want more than what she is offering? You have already said that you have been trying to see her for some time. What has been the block to making that happen? Could it be, unfortunately, that you have always been the one seeking a romantic relationship while she has always wanted to be friends? If that is true, it may be time to face reality. If you have never made it clear to her what your intentions are, now is the time to do so. Otherwise, you will continue to wish and hope and end up unfulfilled. Of course, the downside is that she could push way back if you push her toward intimacy. Dwelling in the purgatory of your desire is no fun either. Stake your claim and see what happens.