DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently visited Miami and fell in love. During my visit, I decided I wanted to move there and start a new life. To help with my transition, I asked for a work transfer since the company I work for has a location there. There were two positions available, and the Miami manager was interested in me. My current manager denied my transfer, saying it is in my best interest to stay. I was just promoted to a full-time position, and we are losing our assistant manager soon. I feel discouraged and like my manager's decision was selfish and inconsiderate. What am I to do? -- Ready to Move, Chicago

DEAR READY TO MOVE: If you are prepared to pack up and move to Miami, focus on that. Start researching other job opportunities there. If you have been good at your current job and have someone who can provide you with a solid recommendation, use that to put out feelers for other jobs. You can also let the manager in the Miami store know how much you wish you could come there, but your manager is unwilling to budge on the transfer. You have to be clear that you are ready to move, even if you don't get the transfer.

It makes sense that your boss would want you to stay -- especially if you are a valuable employee who has received training and a recent promotion. That an assistant manager is leaving makes it potentially more difficult for your current employer to survive comfortably without you. If you are not 100 percent bent on moving, this may be the time to negotiate your future at home. Find out if you might be considered for the assistant manager position now or in the near future. Figure out what incentives exist for you where you are. That doesn't mean you never move to Miami, but it could delay your move and keep Miami as a cool vacation site for now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's my senior year, and I am looking forward to graduating come June; however, my school is asking for a $600 down payment to start my last two online classes. I planned my vacation during the month my school wants the money. My mom said she'd give me the money to start class on time, but she doesn't know I am going on vacation. To make matters worse, my mom just bought a house, and her mean boss just told her she's on a 90-day probation because she took a week off to move. I don't want to be selfish, but know I can pay my mom back within a month, and I really want to go on vacation and finish school. What should I do? -- Want to Do the Right Thing, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING: Tell your mother the truth. Ask for her opinion. If you are absolutely certain that you will be able to pay your mother back in a timely manner and she still wants to offer the loan, you can accept it. Otherwise, find out if you can forfeit your vacation without too great a penalty and take care of business. You cannot afford to go on vacation and enroll in school.

By all means, be there for your mom, too, as she navigates her probation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be very close friends with two of my neighbors. One has been a very good friend for more than eight years, and the other has lived in the neighborhood for only about three years. We are all moms and wives, and we have a lot in common. I introduced the two of them last summer because I don't like to leave anyone out. Now they are inseparable, and I am not "in the loop" anymore. I work three days per week, and they are stay-at-home moms. They go to movies, have play dates, eat dinner, etc. without even inviting me. Some of these activities take place when I am at work, but others happen when I'm not working. Because we live on the same street, I can see when one is at the other's home. The last time we got together was at my house a couple of months ago. I have not received an invite since then.

This issue has hurt me deeply. These ladies and I have shared a lot of our lives, and our kids play together. I thought we had the type of friendship that would withstand me being absent part of the time, but apparently they've decided they are perfectly happy without me. I've always known a three-way friendship was hard, but I never thought I'd be on the outs.

I struggle with whether to say anything. Part of me wants to get my feelings in the open and find out if something I did has offended them. But another part of me just wants to close myself off from them and hope they get the message that they've hurt me. I do not like drama, and I'm uncomfortable with the idea of discussing this with them. What do you think? -- Feeling Rejected, Pittsburgh

DEAR FEELING REJECTED: Friendships among three people often leave someone feeling left out, yet it is definitely possible to navigate them successfully if everyone is interested. If you want to be back in the mix of this friend circle, it's time to talk to these ladies. Do not complain or whine. Instead, invite them over and let them know how much you miss them. Tell them you are so happy that your introduction of them last summer clicked so well. Remind them that while you do work, you would like to spend time together whenever possible. You can ask if you offended them in some way since they haven't included you of late.

Closing yourself off will likely not work. People are not mind readers. Chances are that they might not even notice that you are being distant. They could interpret your absence as busyness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy your column, but I was a bit confused about this letter and your answer to the woman whose best friend chose the wrong restaurant for her surprise birthday party. Why wouldn't the woman's boyfriend know her favorite restaurant? He should know that she doesn't like Italian food. -- Confused, Washington, D.C.

DEAR CONFUSED: Yes, the boyfriend should know his girlfriend's food preference, but sometimes significant others are clueless about these things. In this case, the issue seemed to be that the best friend was taking over the birthday celebration plans and the boyfriend was blindly going along. The whole scenario sends up red flags, among them that the boyfriend and girlfriend need to be tight enough that the best friend cannot make a mess of their relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children have been in private school since they were born. They have had a great experience thus far, and we see that they are flourishing. This is why we are so distraught about our next steps.

My husband lost his job almost a year ago, and I work but do not make much money. We can no longer afford to pay for private school. We applied for financial aid, but what was offered is not enough for us to manage. We are going to have to move them to other schools, and we are devastated.

We have found decent public schools they can attend. But we are heartbroken. Can you give us any advice on how to break the news to our children? -- Broken, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR BROKEN: I feel your pain.

For many families in this still-fragile economy, it can be hard to survive even when private school education is not a consideration. In your case, if you need to cut expenses so that your home can be secure and you can put food on the table, that is your reality. Or perhaps you recognized that if you don’t save more aggressively now, you will suffer in the future.

You have to get your minds and hearts right for your children to stand a chance. Moving from the expense of private school to the freedom of a public school education can bring joy and possibility to your family. Once you have found and convinced yourselves of the benefits, you can share that reality and enthusiasm with your children.

Do not shield your children from the fact that private school is too expensive for your family. Teach them how much things cost and how to make a budget. The more anchored in the truth about your family needs and choices they are now, the better able they will be to make smart decisions when it is their turn to do so.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married almost 20 years. We went to an event recently and saw a lot of people we had not seen in years. One woman saw me first, then I called my husband over to say hello. Her mouth fell open when she saw him, then she said she was afraid to ask if we were still married since so few people are. We all chuckled and moved on, but it was weird. It happens a lot that people say they are afraid to ask if we are still married. Is that really so unusual? -- Together Forever, Newark, N.J.

DEAR TOGETHER FOREVER: Unfortunately, nearly half of all American marriages end in divorce. That means people who go long stretches without seeing couples they know do not have any assurance that the couples are still together. Asking about a spouse who may be an ex-spouse can be awkward, which is why many people choose to say nothing, which can also seem awkward. This is a sign of our times.

To avoid feeling stuck in the middle, try piping up early in the conversation. Say something specific about your husband and you so that it is clear you are still together.