DEAR HARRIETTE: On my last birthday, my boyfriend got in contact with my best friend to plan a celebration. He was really sweet, because he invited two of my closest friends, and it was a surprise. However, my best friend told him that an expensive Italian restaurant was my favorite. That was not true. I don't even like Italian food. The bill was so expensive, and my boyfriend paid for everything.

I feel like my friend sabotaged me. I had a nice evening, but I never would have asked my boyfriend to spend all that money on food I didn't even really like. She bragged the whole night about all she had done to plan the birthday.

I think she's jealous. She doesn't have a boyfriend. She keeps saying how great my life is, but I feel like she's trying to either mess it up or insert herself in it. It leaves me with a bad feeling. How can I get her to chill out? -- Not Happy, Denver

DEAR NOT HAPPY: Your friend sounds a bit confused about how to be friends with you right now. On the one hand, she wants the best for you. On the other, she is envious of all the good things that are happening in your life.

Sit down with her and gently tell her how you feel. Thank her for trying to make your birthday special, but mention that it didn't seem like she actually had your best interest at heart. If she is your best friend, she should know what type of food you like, as well as whether you would appreciate having your boyfriend pay for such an expensive meal. Talk to her about how uncomfortable her actions made you feel. Ask her to think more about you next time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: "Need a Vacation" should not let her husband hold her back from living life! Last year, I wanted to visit my brother in San Diego for two weeks, but my husband said he couldn't get that much time off work. He stayed home and took care of our cats, while our 10-year-old son and I flew to California. We had a great time, including visits to Disneyland and Sea World!

The two of us are going back to San Diego this summer, and my son is so excited. He asked if Daddy was going with us this time. When I said no, he replied, "I guess it's just you and me, pal!" -- Independent Mama, Philadelphia

DEAR INDEPENDENT MAMA: Thank you for sharing your story. I think it is important for families to figure out what works best for them as they navigate life. As you discovered, there may be times when family members do things independently to ensure that dreams are fulfilled. As long as you work together to make your decisions and you have buy-in all around, you can maintain a healthy, happy household and do things together and separately.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you handle a relationship with a close friend whom you admire, but who you think is jealous of you? My best friend has done a couple of little things that bother me. Last month, I was talking to her about narrowing down my choices for several internship opportunities I had received. She had the audacity to contact me the next day to see if she could have the contact information for one of my opportunities. She didn't ask if it was OK to contact the people.

I took the internship, and while working in the office, I noticed that she had sent her resume to them, even though I had told her not to. I am so hurt. I'm not sure what to do. -- Duped, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR DUPED: Call your friend on her actions. Tell her that you trusted her to be your sounding board and that you did not imagine she would try to steal one of your opportunities for herself. Make it clear that she overstepped her boundaries as your friend and that you feel hurt and violated.

Moving forward, keep in mind that she has issues with boundaries. She has proved that she cannot hold all of your information in confidence, so you cannot safely tell her things. The best way to ensure that you share less with her is to create some distance between you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In today's column, you responded to a woman whose son didn't get into the college of his first choice. In addition to what you wrote, the mother could mention that the college likely accepts transfer students, often between their sophomore and junior years. There tend to be fewer applications for transfers than for freshman admissions.

The young man could look into the transfer requirements and schedule his first two years accordingly. It also may turn out that after two years at School 2, he will have made friends, settled into the college life there and not want to leave. -- Just a Thought, Washington, D.C.

DEAR JUST A THOUGHT: The notion of transferring is a great idea. You are right that often there are far fewer transfers than potential freshmen looking to enter a university.

The larger point, I believe, is that students who do not get into their college of choice at first should not feel stuck. There are options as time goes by, especially if students do well wherever they are in school.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a woman on a popular social media website. We have been talking for about two months, and I consider her to be a virtual pen pal.

A few weeks ago, my friend told me her father passed away, and I sent her an email to express sorrow at her family's loss. Two weeks after the funeral, my friend asked in an email to borrow $500 to help pay the additional funeral cost. I quickly told her that I would not be able to help cover the additional cost.

What makes a person think they can ask a stranger for money? -- No Money Lost, New York

DEAR NO MONEY LOST: Let's start with the reality that funerals can be expensive -- usually more costly than people estimate -- so your friend may really be short on cash. Because she has been communicating with you so much and she may feel desperate, she may have reached out on the off chance that you would help. You have no obligation to give her money.

This woman is not a stranger. You have been communicating with her for two months, and you are getting to know each other. She may not be one of your best friends, but you do have a relationship with her. Do not diminish that. Just be clear about your boundaries. You can say "no" without being mean or feeling affronted.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been separated from my wife for the last six months, and during our time apart, I started dating again. I met a beautiful young lady. I made her aware of my current situation, and she appreciated my honesty. After our initial date, we started spending so much time together that I asked her to move in with me. My girlfriend agreed, and I am so happy.

I told my family about my current relationship status, and they were not happy with my decision. I was told that I should have waited to start dating until the divorce was final. I'm lonely and impatient. I can't wait an additional year to start dating again. I know my family means well, but I need to live my life. -- The Ink Has Not Dried, Baltimore

DEAR THE INK HAS NOT DRIED: Sorry, but I agree with your family. Rushing into a new relationship before ending your marriage completely is not a setup for success. In many states, couples have to be separated at least one year before they are eligible to get divorced. Couples can use that time to help get their houses in order, so to speak.

Now that you already have the new partner living with you, it is messy. Clean up the mess as quickly as you can by ending your marriage properly.