DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you handle a relationship with a close friend whom you admire, but who you think is jealous of you? My best friend has done a couple of little things that bother me. Last month, I was talking to her about narrowing down my choices for several internship opportunities I had received. She had the audacity to contact me the next day to see if she could have the contact information for one of my opportunities. She didn't ask if it was OK to contact the people.

I took the internship, and while working in the office, I noticed that she had sent her resume to them, even though I had told her not to. I am so hurt. I'm not sure what to do. -- Duped, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR DUPED: Call your friend on her actions. Tell her that you trusted her to be your sounding board and that you did not imagine she would try to steal one of your opportunities for herself. Make it clear that she overstepped her boundaries as your friend and that you feel hurt and violated.

Moving forward, keep in mind that she has issues with boundaries. She has proved that she cannot hold all of your information in confidence, so you cannot safely tell her things. The best way to ensure that you share less with her is to create some distance between you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In today's column, you responded to a woman whose son didn't get into the college of his first choice. In addition to what you wrote, the mother could mention that the college likely accepts transfer students, often between their sophomore and junior years. There tend to be fewer applications for transfers than for freshman admissions.

The young man could look into the transfer requirements and schedule his first two years accordingly. It also may turn out that after two years at School 2, he will have made friends, settled into the college life there and not want to leave. -- Just a Thought, Washington, D.C.

DEAR JUST A THOUGHT: The notion of transferring is a great idea. You are right that often there are far fewer transfers than potential freshmen looking to enter a university.

The larger point, I believe, is that students who do not get into their college of choice at first should not feel stuck. There are options as time goes by, especially if students do well wherever they are in school.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a woman on a popular social media website. We have been talking for about two months, and I consider her to be a virtual pen pal.

A few weeks ago, my friend told me her father passed away, and I sent her an email to express sorrow at her family's loss. Two weeks after the funeral, my friend asked in an email to borrow $500 to help pay the additional funeral cost. I quickly told her that I would not be able to help cover the additional cost.

What makes a person think they can ask a stranger for money? -- No Money Lost, New York

DEAR NO MONEY LOST: Let's start with the reality that funerals can be expensive -- usually more costly than people estimate -- so your friend may really be short on cash. Because she has been communicating with you so much and she may feel desperate, she may have reached out on the off chance that you would help. You have no obligation to give her money.

This woman is not a stranger. You have been communicating with her for two months, and you are getting to know each other. She may not be one of your best friends, but you do have a relationship with her. Do not diminish that. Just be clear about your boundaries. You can say "no" without being mean or feeling affronted.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been separated from my wife for the last six months, and during our time apart, I started dating again. I met a beautiful young lady. I made her aware of my current situation, and she appreciated my honesty. After our initial date, we started spending so much time together that I asked her to move in with me. My girlfriend agreed, and I am so happy.

I told my family about my current relationship status, and they were not happy with my decision. I was told that I should have waited to start dating until the divorce was final. I'm lonely and impatient. I can't wait an additional year to start dating again. I know my family means well, but I need to live my life. -- The Ink Has Not Dried, Baltimore

DEAR THE INK HAS NOT DRIED: Sorry, but I agree with your family. Rushing into a new relationship before ending your marriage completely is not a setup for success. In many states, couples have to be separated at least one year before they are eligible to get divorced. Couples can use that time to help get their houses in order, so to speak.

Now that you already have the new partner living with you, it is messy. Clean up the mess as quickly as you can by ending your marriage properly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a nanny for a family, and my employer treats me rather cruelly. When I ask to borrow the car, he constantly doubts that I am going where I say I'm going. He gossips about me to the children, and he makes pointed comments about how much I eat and my weight. He's made me cry on several occasions.

I have no idea what to do or how to handle this situation. I love the children and they love me, so I was willing to put up with it for them, but I can't take it much longer. What should I do? -- Mistreated, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MISTREATED: You owe it to the children to stand up to their father. As their caregiver, you want them to learn how to treat people with respect.

Request a private meeting with your employer. Tell him how much you love the children and how grateful you are to care for them. Tell him that you are concerned, however, about the way the two of you interact sometimes.

Describe a few scenarios. Concerning the car, ask if he has any reason not to trust you. Tell him that you take your job seriously and would never lie to him about your whereabouts or actions. And tell him it hurts your feelings when he speaks negatively about your weight.

Reinforce your commitment to the family and the children, but make it clear that it is hard to do your job when you feel you are being belittled and distrusted. If he does not change, you may need to look for another job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a boyfriend, but I still like to go to parties with my friends. Guys ask me to dance and I turn them down, obviously. Some of them get offended and ask me why, and when I say I have a boyfriend, they seem to think that's not enough of an excuse.

Is there a more polite way to say that I'm "taken" and just out with friends, or are they in the wrong for pursuing the matter more? -- Taken, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TAKEN: You think it is obvious that you would not dance with another man because you have a boyfriend. I do not necessarily agree with you. I grew up observing my parents going to parties and hosting them. They danced together and with each other's friends. It was never considered untoward or irresponsible for them to dance with other people. Of course, I do not think you should dance in an intimate way with someone else.

If a man asks you to dance and you choose not to, say "no thank you." You also may want to avoid going without your boyfriend to places where people are dancing.