DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a woman on a popular social media website. We have been talking for about two months, and I consider her to be a virtual pen pal.

A few weeks ago, my friend told me her father passed away, and I sent her an email to express sorrow at her family's loss. Two weeks after the funeral, my friend asked in an email to borrow $500 to help pay the additional funeral cost. I quickly told her that I would not be able to help cover the additional cost.

What makes a person think they can ask a stranger for money? -- No Money Lost, New York

DEAR NO MONEY LOST: Let's start with the reality that funerals can be expensive -- usually more costly than people estimate -- so your friend may really be short on cash. Because she has been communicating with you so much and she may feel desperate, she may have reached out on the off chance that you would help. You have no obligation to give her money.

This woman is not a stranger. You have been communicating with her for two months, and you are getting to know each other. She may not be one of your best friends, but you do have a relationship with her. Do not diminish that. Just be clear about your boundaries. You can say "no" without being mean or feeling affronted.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been separated from my wife for the last six months, and during our time apart, I started dating again. I met a beautiful young lady. I made her aware of my current situation, and she appreciated my honesty. After our initial date, we started spending so much time together that I asked her to move in with me. My girlfriend agreed, and I am so happy.

I told my family about my current relationship status, and they were not happy with my decision. I was told that I should have waited to start dating until the divorce was final. I'm lonely and impatient. I can't wait an additional year to start dating again. I know my family means well, but I need to live my life. -- The Ink Has Not Dried, Baltimore

DEAR THE INK HAS NOT DRIED: Sorry, but I agree with your family. Rushing into a new relationship before ending your marriage completely is not a setup for success. In many states, couples have to be separated at least one year before they are eligible to get divorced. Couples can use that time to help get their houses in order, so to speak.

Now that you already have the new partner living with you, it is messy. Clean up the mess as quickly as you can by ending your marriage properly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a nanny for a family, and my employer treats me rather cruelly. When I ask to borrow the car, he constantly doubts that I am going where I say I'm going. He gossips about me to the children, and he makes pointed comments about how much I eat and my weight. He's made me cry on several occasions.

I have no idea what to do or how to handle this situation. I love the children and they love me, so I was willing to put up with it for them, but I can't take it much longer. What should I do? -- Mistreated, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MISTREATED: You owe it to the children to stand up to their father. As their caregiver, you want them to learn how to treat people with respect.

Request a private meeting with your employer. Tell him how much you love the children and how grateful you are to care for them. Tell him that you are concerned, however, about the way the two of you interact sometimes.

Describe a few scenarios. Concerning the car, ask if he has any reason not to trust you. Tell him that you take your job seriously and would never lie to him about your whereabouts or actions. And tell him it hurts your feelings when he speaks negatively about your weight.

Reinforce your commitment to the family and the children, but make it clear that it is hard to do your job when you feel you are being belittled and distrusted. If he does not change, you may need to look for another job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a boyfriend, but I still like to go to parties with my friends. Guys ask me to dance and I turn them down, obviously. Some of them get offended and ask me why, and when I say I have a boyfriend, they seem to think that's not enough of an excuse.

Is there a more polite way to say that I'm "taken" and just out with friends, or are they in the wrong for pursuing the matter more? -- Taken, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TAKEN: You think it is obvious that you would not dance with another man because you have a boyfriend. I do not necessarily agree with you. I grew up observing my parents going to parties and hosting them. They danced together and with each other's friends. It was never considered untoward or irresponsible for them to dance with other people. Of course, I do not think you should dance in an intimate way with someone else.

If a man asks you to dance and you choose not to, say "no thank you." You also may want to avoid going without your boyfriend to places where people are dancing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a job for two years, and I have been the assistant sales floor manager. A young lady who has been at the store not even a year has been promoted twice, while I haven't been promoted at all. I noticed about two weeks ago when I was in the back room that an assistant manager position paper was sitting out. I thought maybe they were going to ask me to accept the position, but instead they offered it to her.

My manager told me as she was going out the door with her coat on, and she said we would talk about it next week. I'm really upset. What should I do? -- Insulted, New York

DEAR INSULTED: Take a few days to calm down. When you meet with your boss, ask why you were not offered the position. Tell her that you have been working for the last two years with the intention of advancing.

Describe your perception of the quality of your work. Ask if she agrees, then ask for her general opinion of your work. You do not want to put her on the spot, but it is valid for you to want to know why you were not invited to fill this position, since you think you are more seasoned than the other employee. Be sure to ask how you can align yourself for a future promotion.

If you get a bad feeling after talking to your manager, do not wait around. It may be a signal that it is time to look for a new job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a relationship for a while, and I really love my boyfriend. I am 24. He is 29. We aren't ready to settle down yet, but the potential is there. I see our future with marriage, kids, all that stuff.

However, he is ready to move to Los Angeles soon, and I just got to New York. He wants me to move with him, but I would like to move home to Chicago. He doesn't see the job potential there.

How do we stay together if we don't live in the same place? How do I stay with someone who isn't giving two thoughts to moving to Chicago, even though he hasn't been there before? -- Long-Distance Dilemma, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR LONG-DISTANCE DILEMMA: It's time for a serious talk about the future. If you are not clear about your intentions for your relationship and if you cannot even consider living in the same place -- wherever that might be -- chances are, your relationship is about to end. Talk it out until you both feel satisfied that you know where you stand.