DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a job for two years, and I have been the assistant sales floor manager. A young lady who has been at the store not even a year has been promoted twice, while I haven't been promoted at all. I noticed about two weeks ago when I was in the back room that an assistant manager position paper was sitting out. I thought maybe they were going to ask me to accept the position, but instead they offered it to her.

My manager told me as she was going out the door with her coat on, and she said we would talk about it next week. I'm really upset. What should I do? -- Insulted, New York

DEAR INSULTED: Take a few days to calm down. When you meet with your boss, ask why you were not offered the position. Tell her that you have been working for the last two years with the intention of advancing.

Describe your perception of the quality of your work. Ask if she agrees, then ask for her general opinion of your work. You do not want to put her on the spot, but it is valid for you to want to know why you were not invited to fill this position, since you think you are more seasoned than the other employee. Be sure to ask how you can align yourself for a future promotion.

If you get a bad feeling after talking to your manager, do not wait around. It may be a signal that it is time to look for a new job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a relationship for a while, and I really love my boyfriend. I am 24. He is 29. We aren't ready to settle down yet, but the potential is there. I see our future with marriage, kids, all that stuff.

However, he is ready to move to Los Angeles soon, and I just got to New York. He wants me to move with him, but I would like to move home to Chicago. He doesn't see the job potential there.

How do we stay together if we don't live in the same place? How do I stay with someone who isn't giving two thoughts to moving to Chicago, even though he hasn't been there before? -- Long-Distance Dilemma, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR LONG-DISTANCE DILEMMA: It's time for a serious talk about the future. If you are not clear about your intentions for your relationship and if you cannot even consider living in the same place -- wherever that might be -- chances are, your relationship is about to end. Talk it out until you both feel satisfied that you know where you stand.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am planning on living with my longtime friend next year. Our families are close, and he's a great person, but I'm worried. He will sometimes slip and say things that could get me into trouble, although never intentionally.

I have a long-term girlfriend who comes over and sometimes stays until late at night. Normally when this happens, we're just studying together or watching a movie. But I'm worried that my friend might, while talking to his or my parents, mention that she was in the room and get me in trouble. Should I talk to him about it or just hope for the best? -- Shaky Ground, Chicago

DEAR SHAKY GROUND: You did not mention your age, but I assume that you are old enough to live on your own and be trusted to make smart decisions.

Rather than asking your friend to keep quiet about your business, I think you should own your life. Be clear about the decisions you make, and be prepared to stand up for them.

I am unclear why you would "get in trouble" if your parents learned that you entertained a female friend. It sounds as if you want them to believe that you are behaving honorably, which, for your family, means no sexual intimacy. If you are living your life in that way, you have nothing to worry about.

If you think that having your girlfriend over late might give the wrong impression and call your conduct into question, perhaps you should reconsider what time she goes home. The bottom line is that you need to feel comfortable with your decisions and be prepared to stand up for them in front of your parents or anyone else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I thought my roommate and I had a pretty OK relationship until I saw that he posted something negative about me online, saying he felt sorry for whomever has to live with me next year. I confronted him about it, and it turns out it was something he didn't post. Now he's mad at me. I apologized, but how can I rectify the situation? -- On the Outs, Philadelphia

DEAR ON THE OUTS: Did you find out who did post the negative comments? If the statement appeared on your roommate's social media page, it makes sense that you would think he wrote it.

Ultimately, the way you rectify the situation is to address it directly. Talk to your roommate about what happened. Explain why you got upset that something like that would be stated publicly. Move on to the issue at hand, and ask if he has concerns about being your roommate. Even though he may not have written the comment, he may share the sentiment. And tell him how you feel about being his roommate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had quite a few people who are close to me die in the past few months. I am in my 80s, so I know this is normal, but it is really getting to me. I feel like I just cannot keep going to every service. I don't want to be disrespectful to my friends who have lost their lives, but it is wearing on me emotionally and physically. How can I pay my respects without being in attendance each time? -- Weary, Wilmington, Del.

DEAR WEARY: I remember when my grandmother reached 100, she spoke about how grateful she was for making such a milestone and how grateful she was for the friends and family she had around her. She acknowledged that all of her peers were gone and that that would have been too lonely had it not been for the others who were surrounding her.

I recommend that you embrace living with gusto. If you have family or close friends, friendly neighbors, anyone who makes you happy who is living -- reconnect with them. If there are children in your life, connect with them. Children bring joy with the greatest of ease.

As far as funerals go, you do not have to attend them all. What you can do is call the family and express your condolences. Make it known that you will not be able to attend the service so that they are not looking for you. Send a card and stay in touch with the survivors if you were previously in touch with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman I have known for years and we got to talking. We had a few glasses of wine, and the next thing you know we had revealed some things about our marriages that should have been left unsaid. I feel uncomfortable now. It would be awful if either of us repeated anything that we said to each other. I'm not sure what to do. Should I reach out to her to ask her to stay mum or just let it be? We do not live in the same town and we are not close. -- Loose Lips, Chicago

DEAR LOOSE LIPS: Review what you said about your marriage. Is there anything that you should tell your husband? That is what is important here -- not what this woman will or will not repeat. Sometimes these types of incidents occur to keep people honest in their lives.

I do not recommend seeking out this woman to ask her to stay mum. Since you both shared secrets, you may both be safe. But safe is relative. Address the issues that came up from a sober perspective. Consider what is serious and what may have just been complaining. Drum up the courage to talk to your husband about whatever your concerns are so that you can be stronger in your marriage.