DEAR HARRIETTE: I am planning on living with my longtime friend next year. Our families are close, and he's a great person, but I'm worried. He will sometimes slip and say things that could get me into trouble, although never intentionally.

I have a long-term girlfriend who comes over and sometimes stays until late at night. Normally when this happens, we're just studying together or watching a movie. But I'm worried that my friend might, while talking to his or my parents, mention that she was in the room and get me in trouble. Should I talk to him about it or just hope for the best? -- Shaky Ground, Chicago

DEAR SHAKY GROUND: You did not mention your age, but I assume that you are old enough to live on your own and be trusted to make smart decisions.

Rather than asking your friend to keep quiet about your business, I think you should own your life. Be clear about the decisions you make, and be prepared to stand up for them.

I am unclear why you would "get in trouble" if your parents learned that you entertained a female friend. It sounds as if you want them to believe that you are behaving honorably, which, for your family, means no sexual intimacy. If you are living your life in that way, you have nothing to worry about.

If you think that having your girlfriend over late might give the wrong impression and call your conduct into question, perhaps you should reconsider what time she goes home. The bottom line is that you need to feel comfortable with your decisions and be prepared to stand up for them in front of your parents or anyone else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I thought my roommate and I had a pretty OK relationship until I saw that he posted something negative about me online, saying he felt sorry for whomever has to live with me next year. I confronted him about it, and it turns out it was something he didn't post. Now he's mad at me. I apologized, but how can I rectify the situation? -- On the Outs, Philadelphia

DEAR ON THE OUTS: Did you find out who did post the negative comments? If the statement appeared on your roommate's social media page, it makes sense that you would think he wrote it.

Ultimately, the way you rectify the situation is to address it directly. Talk to your roommate about what happened. Explain why you got upset that something like that would be stated publicly. Move on to the issue at hand, and ask if he has concerns about being your roommate. Even though he may not have written the comment, he may share the sentiment. And tell him how you feel about being his roommate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had quite a few people who are close to me die in the past few months. I am in my 80s, so I know this is normal, but it is really getting to me. I feel like I just cannot keep going to every service. I don't want to be disrespectful to my friends who have lost their lives, but it is wearing on me emotionally and physically. How can I pay my respects without being in attendance each time? -- Weary, Wilmington, Del.

DEAR WEARY: I remember when my grandmother reached 100, she spoke about how grateful she was for making such a milestone and how grateful she was for the friends and family she had around her. She acknowledged that all of her peers were gone and that that would have been too lonely had it not been for the others who were surrounding her.

I recommend that you embrace living with gusto. If you have family or close friends, friendly neighbors, anyone who makes you happy who is living -- reconnect with them. If there are children in your life, connect with them. Children bring joy with the greatest of ease.

As far as funerals go, you do not have to attend them all. What you can do is call the family and express your condolences. Make it known that you will not be able to attend the service so that they are not looking for you. Send a card and stay in touch with the survivors if you were previously in touch with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman I have known for years and we got to talking. We had a few glasses of wine, and the next thing you know we had revealed some things about our marriages that should have been left unsaid. I feel uncomfortable now. It would be awful if either of us repeated anything that we said to each other. I'm not sure what to do. Should I reach out to her to ask her to stay mum or just let it be? We do not live in the same town and we are not close. -- Loose Lips, Chicago

DEAR LOOSE LIPS: Review what you said about your marriage. Is there anything that you should tell your husband? That is what is important here -- not what this woman will or will not repeat. Sometimes these types of incidents occur to keep people honest in their lives.

I do not recommend seeking out this woman to ask her to stay mum. Since you both shared secrets, you may both be safe. But safe is relative. Address the issues that came up from a sober perspective. Consider what is serious and what may have just been complaining. Drum up the courage to talk to your husband about whatever your concerns are so that you can be stronger in your marriage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm shaking my head at my wife because she allows our children to eat dinner at any time of the day. I woke up this morning at 5 a.m., and I heard someone in the kitchen. To my surprise, I found my 9-year-old daughter warming up last night's dinner. I asked her why she was eating such a heavy meal at this time of day. My daughter's response was, "Mom gave me permission."

My wife is setting a bad precedent for our children, and she needs to stop this behavior. How do I address my concerns to my wife about her allowing the children to eat at any time of the day? -- Shaking My Head, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR SHAKING MY HEAD: Pick a time when you and your wife are alone. Let her know that you want to have a meeting to talk about the family. Then, tell her specifically why you are concerned about the children's eating habits. Describe to her what happened with your daughter. Suggest that the two of you work together to design more healthy eating habits for the children and yourselves.

If you are not currently participating in the food shopping or preparation, you may need to start. To recast the way that you feed your family will take focus, time and effort. You will need to be examples for your children. I do not recommend that you simply scold your wife and then expect her to make a shift. This family initiative requires teamwork. You may also want to get your children physically active. Check out Michelle Obama's healthy living program, Let's Move, at letsmove.gov to get some ideas.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother and younger sister lost their individual battles with cancer within a year of each other. Losing my mother and sister in such a short time has drained me. I have not properly mourned their passing. In addition, I took my oldest sister to the hospital earlier this week to have the doctors remove the cancerous tumor that's in her chest. I'm thankful that my doctors gave me a clean bill of health, but I am so tired. Do you have any words of encouragement during this tough time in my life. -- Distraught, Salt Lake City

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: I am so sorry for the tragedy that has befallen your family. Cancer is a horrible disease that is taking too many of our loved ones. When they go in such close proximity, it can be hard to feel strong enough to hold on.

This is where faith comes in. When the pain of loss seems too great, you need to ask God to help you. However you worship, this is your time to call upon that higher power to give you strength and see you through.

You can also go to a grief counselor at your house of worship or ask your doctor for a referral. It is wise that you are reaching out. Get support now so that you do not have to experience your grief in isolation.