DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a lovely new assistant who helped me tremendously at a recent conference where I was a vendor and presenter. Everything was going great until the champagne started flowing. She turned into a monster. She got loud, obnoxious and belligerent. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say to her. It was awkward because others noticed. How should I handle this? -- Mouth Hanging Open, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MOUTH HANGING OPEN: Be direct with her. Tell her you want to review the event and go over how it worked. Tell her what went well, and give her specific kudos for the things she mastered. This is important so that she knows what you value. Then describe the behavior that was unacceptable. Paint a clear picture. Let her know that she represents you and that as your representative she must always carry herself as you do. Otherwise, she cannot continue to work for you. Make a strict no-alcohol policy at all work events.

You may want to ask her if she needs help. She may have a drinking problem that needs to be nipped in the bud.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked a neighbor to watch my dog, which I do from time to time. This time she agreed, but I later learned that she let somebody else take care of him when she went out of town for a day. I was gone for a week, and we agreed that she was in charge. I don't like that she pawned off my baby to somebody else. What can I say to her? -- Dog Lover, Chicago

DEAR DOG LOVER: This is why people use kennels. Though you cannot ensure that nothing will go wrong in a kennel, you do know that you are paying for a specific service.

In your friend's case, ask her why she put your dog in another's care. You don't know what happened in her life that changed her plans. How is your dog? If it is fine, maybe this is a nonissue. Figure out why you are upset and mindfully let her know. Use a kennel in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend invited me to go to the Caribbean with him. It sounds so nice, but I can't go. I am mortified to put on a bathing suit around him. He has never seen my body. I usually wear loose-fitting clothes. I think he won't like me anymore if he sees how overweight and out of shape I am.

I am so mad at myself. I haven't exercised in years, and I have the flab to show for it. What should I say to him about the trip? -- Fat and Freaked Out, Los Angeles

DEAR FAT AND FREAKED OUT: I doubt that your boyfriend thinks you have a model's body, even though you work overtime to cover it up. He surely likes you for who you are and is not consumed with how you look.

That said, since you are self-conscious, go ahead and share your doubts with him. Set a fitness goal that you want to reach before you strip down to a bathing suit. Enlist him in walking, jogging, moving. The two of you can work out together, get closer and have the promise of a trip to the beach as a reward.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I thought your advice to the person who was taking a public speaking class and was looking for ways to overcome his or her shyness was great. The most important thing to do is to practice.

I took a public speaking class in high school. The first time I had to speak in front of the class -- doing no more than telling about ourselves -- I was beside myself with nerves. But I was stuck for a semester, so I had to find a way to deal with this.

Practicing my speeches was invaluable. I practiced in front of the mirror, a tape recorder (that's dating myself!) and my family. I learned to make eye contact and always had a detailed outline in front of me that I could glance at when necessary. I not only overcame my nerves and shyness, but I also went on to major in speech communication in college.

I work as a financial consultant and feel the ability to communicate is invaluable. It all started with my first public speaking class. I would like to add that the speaker should always remember he or she is the only one who knows what he or she is going to say. If the speaker makes a mistake, usually no one is the wiser. -- Confident Communicator, Washington, D.C.

DEAR CONFIDENT COMMUNICATOR: It is amazing how many people start out extremely shy when they have to speak to a group of people. I have learned that if you choose to believe that the people who are waiting to hear you speak are friendly souls just like you, it is easier to speak to them.

You are absolutely right that they have no idea what you are going to say, so just go for it and speak. Trust that if you are prepared, you will be able to deliver your message with clarity and intention. It all starts with believing that you can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 8-year-old daughter received an expensive gift -- a smartphone -- from her father a few weeks ago. I understand the importance of communication, but I believe he went a little overboard with this purchase. I confronted him and asked why. His response was that he wants the best for his daughter.

To be honest, the best gift for my daughter, in my opinion, would be for her father to be a stabilizing presence in her life. What is he going to give her next -- an Xbox 360, or maybe a pair of $200 sneakers? -- Annoyed Mom, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR ANNOYED MOM: Because you and your ex are co-parenting your daughter, it is imperative that you come to terms on what you value for her at different ages. This may be hard since the two of you are not together.

Be careful not to scold your ex, which might drive him away. Instead, tell him you want to talk about age-appropriate gifts and what it means to give your child "the best." One reason an expensive smartphone may not be wise for an 8-year-old is that it can be easily lost. It also may offer too much access to the Internet, which could be detrimental to a young child if unsupervised.

Ask your ex if he is willing to talk to you before making big purchases. Indeed, it would be wise to set up weekly calls during which you can check in about parenting in general. If you grow accustomed to talking about your daughter without having it be only when you are angry, you stand a better chance of developing healthy habits that you both agree to implement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a returning college student, and I'm having a challenge with the math elements of my microeconomics class. I haven't had to learn a math equation in more than 15 years, and my math skills are rusty.

I told my professor that I was struggling and that I was planning to get a tutor. To my surprise, she advised that I not seek help from a tutor.

I believe she has given me bad advice. I know my academic needs, and I want to do what is best for me and my grades. What should I do? -- College Man, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR COLLEGE MAN: Listen to your gut. If you think you need help, get it. It cannot hurt for you to get a tutor to support you in this class or any other. Especially since you feel rusty in this area, get help, become excellent at math, master this class and prove your value with great work.

Your professor may mean well, but you do not have to forgo support just because she thinks you do not need it.