DEAR HARRIETTE: People often mistake me for a celebrity. Quite a few people have come up and asked me if I am a certain pop star or TV actress. At first I was annoyed, but now I'm thinking maybe I should go into entertainment. If people already think I'm famous, why shouldn't I try to become famous? How would I go about doing that? -- Near Fame, Racine, Wis.

DEAR NEAR FAME: I can see why you would imagine that there is a road toward fame that is paved by a familiar face. That may even be true, but I must tell you that it is unlikely.

It's fine to feel flattered that people mistake you for somebody famous. But rather than trying to become famous by looking like someone else, why not use the opportunity to tell people who you are?

What are your interests? What do you do now? What are your dreams for the future? I say, focus on YOU. Develop your interests and talents. Become great at being you. That will then attract others to you for the right reasons.

That you happen to have a familiar face may help you to open doors. Just make sure the doors are those you want to open.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a great guy last weekend. It was at the party of a mutual friend, and the two of us seriously hit it off. We have talked on the phone every day since, and we've had three dates already. I like him a lot, and I can tell that he likes me, too. Everything has been going great.

I'm writing because he just asked if I would like to go to California with him next week. He has to go for business, and he has invited me to come and hang out with him when he's not working.

The offer is really exciting, but I'm afraid it's moving way too fast. I like him, but I feel like if I go on a trip with him, he will have certain expectations of me. I'm not a fast-moving girl, and I don't want to give him the wrong impression. Of course, I would love to go with him to California, but I don't want to make a good thing messy. What should I do? -- Tempted, Washington, D.C.

DEAR TEMPTED: The best way to stay clear of temptation is to avoid it. If it feels too early for you to go on a trip with this man, that means it is too early -- for you. If there is a future for the two of you, a little time apart will not stymie that.

Thank your beau for the invitation. Tell him that you think it's lovely that he invited you to join him on this trip but that you will be unable to go. Suggest that you make plans now for when he returns.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I take a weekly public speaking class where we are encouraged to share our work in front of the class. There is one problem: I am terribly shy, and I do not know if I can talk in front of the class. Can you give me some pointers on how to overcome my shyness? -- At a Loss for Words, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR AT A LOSS FOR WORDS: Congratulations on taking a class that will help you face one of your fears. That took a lot of courage.

One thing that will be important for you to remember is that you are taking a class. Your teacher and classmates do not expect you to already be a great public speaker. You are there to learn. Chances are, your classmates are a little skittish, too. Rather than succumbing to your fear, think about the class members as support for one another. Your attitude will help you to have more confidence.

Practice speaking at home in front of a mirror. Stand up straight and tall, with your feet hip-distance apart. Relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath. Look in the mirror and smile. Recite your speech, looking down at your paper momentarily and then looking up and out.

Move from the mirror to your living room. If you live with someone, ask him or her to be your audience. (You also can pretend that people are sitting in empty chairs.) Practice speaking to a room full of "people" and making eye contact as you speak. This will make it easier when you present speeches to your class.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My cellphone apparently pocket-dialed my wife's phone, and my wife heard a conversation I had with a co-worker. I needed to vent to someone who would listen, because I have not had the best relationship with my wife in the past few months.

After my workday, I went home to an angry wife. She was disappointed with me because I told a friend about our problems instead of talking to her first. How can I prevent this from happening again? -- Talk Too Much, Manhattan, N.Y.

DEAR TALK TOO MUCH: Start by apologizing sincerely for upsetting your wife. Explain that it was not your intention to do so, and that you needed to talk out your feelings with someone before talking to her. This is probably something she understands, even if it made her angry. Most people need a friend who is willing to listen when they are upset about something.

To prevent this in the future, start talking to your wife about your issues. Ask if she would be willing to have an honest conversation about the state of your relationship. Explain your concerns in as calm a manner as you can muster. Ask her what she is thinking and feeling.

If you two are able to talk without arguing, keep it going and do your best to address the challenges in your marriage. If you are unable to speak to each other civilly, you may want to seek out a professional to help you. A marriage counselor may be able to guide your conversation and give you tools for more productive communication, especially during difficult times.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently turned 39. I really want to get married, and I'm looking to start dating again. I have some reservations because I have two young girls, and I think it may turn off some men if I talk about my girls on the first date.

When do you think it would be a good idea to introduce my girls to Mr. Right? -- Planning to Say I Do, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR PLANNING TO SAY I DO: You are way ahead of yourself. It is good to think ahead, but it is also important to have perspective.

You said you want to start dating again. That means Mr. Right is likely a long way off. Take things one step at a time. Date people whose values you share and who like children.

I think you should tell a first date that you are a single mom, because it's a huge part of who you are. Casual dates should remain just that -- out of the purview of your children. When you feel serious about someone you like and definitely think he is interesting and devoted enough to be a consistent friend, you can introduce him to your girls. Start off introducing him to them as your friend. If you can establish that you respect this person because he is a dear friend, they will have the space to look upon him kindly without wondering or worrying about whether he is going to take away their mother.

Organize "play dates" so they can see if they enjoy one another's company. In the end, if you decide you want to be in a relationship with this man, you will want the whole family to be compatible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a heated debate with the parent of one of my son's friends, and now I feel uncomfortable when I see this guy. We were talking politics, always a touchy subject, and we do not share the same views. Each of us expressed our opinions strongly, and we left in a huff. Now I see this guy at my son's school, and I'm not sure what to say. Can you help? -- Fiery, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR FIERY: Why not let the past stay in the past? When you see this parent, say hello. Shake hands or do whatever you used to do when you saw each other. It is perfectly normal for two people to have differing political views. There's nothing wrong with that.

If you think you were disrespectful to this man, you could apologize for the conversation getting so heated. If, however, you just think views were expressed amid tension that could be expected given the subject matter, let it go.