DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a meeting with a colleague the other day where I was supposed to make a presentation to our client. My colleague was supposed to be there as an observer and to help answer any questions.

As it turned out, he jumped in before I even got started and basically stole my presentation. I could hardly get a word in edgewise. I was so angry. How should I handle this? The client was pleased and we got the business, but my co-worker overstepped his bounds. -- Irked, Washington, D.C.

DEAR IRKED: Ask your colleague directly why he chose to overstep the boundaries of your meeting and jump in the way he did. Tell him that although of course you are glad the business was secured, you do not appreciate the way he handled it. Get him to talk about his motive.

Perhaps he wanted to prove that he can pitch. He may have felt that you were moving too slowly in the beginning. He also may have intended to usurp your position. You won't know until you talk to him about it.

Include in your conversation a recommendation for how you can work together moving forward. Because the deal was secured, you may want to keep him around even if he did annoy you. Suggest that you divide up duties so both of you will have important roles in meetings, since clearly he does not want to be an observer. But it is important to establish ground rules for how you can best work together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I owe my best friend a sizable amount of money. I borrowed it from her a couple of months ago and promised to repay her as soon as possible. Time is ticking. Even though we didn't set a particular date, I feel like I should say something to her. I don't have the money, but I don't want her to think I'm blowing it off. I could give her little bits over time. Do you think it's OK to suggest that? -- Empty Pockets, Shreveport, La.

DEAR EMPTY POCKETS: It is smart to follow up with your friend and give her a status report. Tell her that you have not forgotten your debt but that you do not yet have the funds to repay her.

If you think you can manage a payment plan, ask if she would accept it. Paying her in small increments could make it easier for you to pay down your debt, and you'd feel less guilty because you would be addressing the issue. Just know that if you promise to pay, you should not renege on your promise. Your friend needs to be able to trust that you will do what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is having a challenge with her teacher, and I'm not sure how to handle it. The other day she came home and told me her teacher spoke to her in a way that made her feel like the teacher thinks she is an idiot. My daughter is in the third grade.

I know this teacher can be sharp and harsh with her students. I believe she thinks this is the way to get them to behave. My daughter has never used language like that before to talk about herself or anybody else. "Idiot" is a strong word, like a curse word in our house.

I want to get to the bottom of this to find out what is going on in the classroom and what the teacher thinks my daughter is not doing. I also want to tell the teacher I don't appreciate her talking down to my daughter. I am so angry, though, that I don't know how to begin. Help! -- Mad Mom, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MAD MOM: Take a few deep breaths and compose yourself. You need a few more details.

Talk to your daughter again and find out what was going on when her teacher made her feel she was an idiot. Gently ask her to explain the circumstances. It is likely that something your child did or didn't do precipitated it, which doesn't necessarily excuse the behavior. You are gathering information. Listen carefully so you can recite what your daughter shares with you later.

Schedule an appointment with the teacher, and tell her about your daughter's concerns. Describe the scenario as seen through your daughter's eyes, and ask what her version of the story is.

Tell the teacher that your daughter is sensitive and that you do not want her leaving school feeling like she is an idiot, whatever that means in her mind. School is where she goes to learn and grow. Her teacher needs to be more nurturing and less judgmental. Ask if she can do that. Follow up with the guidance counselor at the school if you need backup.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Next year we are going to have to put our son in public school. He has been in private school since he was young, but we can't afford it anymore. We feel horrible, but it is what is. Our son is 10. How do we tell him without crushing his feelings? -- Distraught and Broke, Chicago

DEAR DISTRAUGHT AND BROKE: Frame the shift to a new school as a lifestyle change. Assure your son that you will put him in the best possible school you can, and stress that by going public, you will have more flexibility to explore other extracurricular activities. Show him there is life after private school. Work hard to keep his friendships alive, too. That will help ease the transition.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been on a couple of dates with this guy, and everything is going great. We touch base on a lot of beliefs, and I find myself always happy when I am with him.

A few nights ago, he kissed me for the first time, and it was terrible! It was almost unbearable. I tried helping him out when kissing, but he was so confident in his kissing that he didn't think anything of it.

I want to continue seeing him, but I don't know how to address the situation. I don't want to keep quiet, nor do I want to damage his confidence. Help! -- Bad Kiss, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR BAD KISS: If you like this guy enough, you are going to need to educate him -- gently. It could be that he hasn't had much experience kissing, so he hasn't developed his skill. It could be that he's arrogant and thinks he knows more than he does.

Next time you two go to kiss, ask if you can kiss him. Ask him to slow down and let you lead. Take your time. If he tries to take over, remind him that it is your turn to show him what you like.

If he refuses to allow you to guide him at all, that's a pretty good indication of how he will likely behave in the future. Arrogance can cloud one's vision. Do your best to push past his insecurity/arrogance to see if you can discover how to please each other.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When my friend drinks, she has no idea of her limitations. She claims to understand that she shouldn't drink so much, but as soon as she is in that setting, she forgets or is too stubborn to see the effects alcohol has on her. I love her, but it is annoying to be around her when she gets like that. She is already an attention-seeker when she's sober, so you can imagine how she is when drunk.

My 21st birthday is in a few weeks, and she is coming into town for it. I don't want to have to worry about her or spend my whole night dealing with her actions. How can I get through to her? -- Drunk-Free, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR DRUNK-FREE: It sounds like your friend has a drinking problem. Call and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Be specific about your concerns. Give examples of her behavior, including how she says she will limit her drinking but consistently gets drunk and acts out.

Tell her that you are not sure you want her to come to your party, because you have no desire to attend to her when you'd rather be celebrating your big day. Honestly, you may need to uninvite her. Since she has proved to be untrustworthy in terms of how much she drinks, you probably cannot trust her this time. Rescinding the invitation will hurt her feelings, but it may get the point across and ultimately save her life.