DEAR HARRIETTE: I hope that "Forgetful" takes your advice about his upcoming reunion.

Two months ago, my high school class held its 4Oth reunion. I hadn't gone to any of the other reunions, and at first I declined because of the location (Maywood Park Racetrack; I don't gamble) and the fact that I use a walker for the arthritis in both my knees. The people on the reunion committee asked me to please reconsider; I would have a ride to and from the place, they said, and others would like to see me.

Well, I went -- and I don't regret it. One woman I remember had bangs and long, straight hair when we were in school together; now she has a frosted pixie haircut. But her face was the same. One lady who used to be in my homeroom division came over, and we had a pleasant 45-minute chat, catching each other up on our lives and doings. The man she married was also in my division (I remembered the name, but he was visiting elsewhere), and I told her when she was leaving to tell her husband "hello" for me.

It turns out the side of the gathering she was on had seen me come in, but since I couldn't table-hop with the walker in the crowded aisles, she came looking for me. I was touched.

When my ride and I were leaving, I met up with another of my grammar/high school classmates. She said, "I didn't know you were here!" and we talked for several minutes. The only person I didn't remember was one of the reunion committee people. But I remembered who she was when she said, "We used to sit behind each other in school." A faint but definite memory entered my thoughts.

It's no tragedy to admit you don't remember someone. I went dreading I'd be alone all night -- and I had more company in four hours than I'd had in four years. -- Looking Forward to the Next Reunion, Chicago

DEAR LOOKING FORWARD: What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it.

Yes, reunions can touch the heart. It can take a big effort to get there, as you described. Sometimes people feel self-conscious for a variety of reasons, especially about how they have aged. But attending is well worth it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Any reunion should have name tags, then color-coordinate them to distinguish alumni from their partners. I fault the college. I do agree with your comments about what to do when meeting someone whose name you can't remember. Just be humble. -- Practical Guy, Chicago

DEAR PRACTICAL GUY: Sometimes the simplest tools, like a name tag with letters big enough to be read easily, are the most essential. Good reminder!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two weeks ago, my sister became really sick and was rushed to the hospital. Another sister and I went to visit her. The doctor told us that she had not spoken in five days and that her organs were slowly beginning to fail. The doctor told us it is only a matter of time before she passes away.

I almost fainted when I heard the news, because I'm still recovering from our mother's sudden passing. I'm hurt, because my sister and I have not had the best relationship over the years, and I wish it were better. In the meantime, how can I make peace with my sister before she dies? -- Brokenhearted, Chicago

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: As long as your sister is alive, you can talk to her with the intention of healing your wounds.

Spend as much time as you can by her side. Tell her that you love her and that you are so sad she has become ill. Apologize for anything you may have said or done over the years that could have been hurtful. Let her know that you forgive her for anything she may have said or done. Pray for the ability to fully forgive her and to heal your relationship.

This does not mean that you will miraculously be freed of old wounds or memories, but you do have the opportunity, while she is still alive, to choose to release things from your past.

Even if your sister does not respond, continue to talk to her. Tell her stories of joyful experiences in your life. Fill her in on whatever you think may soothe her during this difficult time. And be sure to talk to your other sister, too, so that you can strengthen that bond as this one comes to a close.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got a job with a theater company that scheduled me to work once a month. My manager sent out an email a few days ago, asking about our availability for the upcoming month. I told my manager I could not work a particular weekend because I had a prior engagement. To my surprise, I received an email from the general manager saying they're taking me off of the work schedule.

I'm taken aback by the email, because the company has me working on a very limited schedule. How should I address this sudden change with the general manager? -- Part-Timer, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR PART-TIMER: If possible, have a personal conversation with your manager first, then the general manager. Reiterate your interest in working at the company. If you have asked in the past about increasing your hours, remind them of this. Explain that you will do your best to be available, even though that one weekend was previously booked.

Speaking up and addressing your bosses directly should at least show them your sincerity and interest in working for them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a huge argument with my husband last week over stupid stuff. I feel like we argue every five minutes about something. I am so sick of him. We have been married about 10 years, and I'm beginning to feel that it isn't worth it. If everything is negative, what's the point?

This time it is so crazy because we were arguing about going on vacation. I had one idea, and he had another. I introduced the idea to see if a change of pace might do us some good. Even that blew up on me.

I'm nearly ready to pack my bags and jet. But that feels cowardly. This has to stop. What can I do? -- On the Brink, San Francisco

DEAR ON THE BRINK: Too bad you argued about a vacation. Taking time away from the rigors of your life can be restorative for couples who are having marital difficulties.

Do you think you can revisit the idea of a vacation from a more neutral frame of reference? Go back to your husband and ask if he is willing to broach the topic again. If so, do your best to select an activity that you both will enjoy.

If you cannot find a way to have that discussion, it's surely time for another one. It could start with a frank conversation where, during a sober, quiet moment, you ask your husband what he wants and if that still includes being married to you. Be prepared to admit that you are questioning whether the two of you should stay together. If you can speak openly and honestly about how you feel about your relationship, you may be able to begin a real discussion that evaluates your life together.

Getting a counselor to help both of you navigate next steps is also advisable. You may be able to learn how to speak more diplomatically and respectfully to each other, which can be amazingly helpful in supporting a relationship. Figure out what your triggers are and how you can look at them differently. Then revisit whether you think you can work together or need to separate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have done something that I absolutely hate when it is done to me. I have been really busy, and during this time, a few of my good friends have called or emailed several times and I literally forgot to respond to them. It really isn't because I don't love them. The truth is, I have too much on my plate.

I get that it's my responsibility to stay in touch with my friends, but I haven't been doing a good enough job. How can I repair our friendships? I know their feelings are hurt. -- Too Busy, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TOO BUSY: Start with a sincere apology. Check in with each friend individually, saying that you miss and love him or her and are terribly sorry for not being more responsive. Don't go into details about what has been distracting you. Offer to be more attentive in the future and then do your best to honor your pledge.