DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend talks to her mother and siblings on the phone once a day, if not more. She lives in a different town from them.

I also live in a different town from my mom. I talk to her, but definitely not every day -- more like once a week. Sometimes even more time passes. I don't think I am neglecting my mom, but my friend keeps telling me that I don't call her enough. My take is that we are different, and our families have different expectations. But my friend talks about it so much that I am beginning to feel guilty. What do you think? -- Not So Chatty, Seattle

DEAR NOT SO CHATTY: As you said, you and your friend are different people with different families and, likely, different expectations.

That said, your friend could have a point. It could be true that your mother misses you or needs to hear your voice.

Why don't you check in with your mother to see how she feels? Call and ask how she's doing. Make sure she is in a positive frame of mind. Then tell her about your best friend's comment and ask for her opinion. She may welcome more frequent calls or be perfectly comfortable with your current rhythm.

Personally speaking, I have two sisters who typically talk to my mother more than I do. In recent years, though, I have started calling my mother more often, and she has thanked me for being in closer touch. I have been much more attentive than I was in the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt has asked me to help her go back to college. She is 60 years old, and she is planning to get an associate's degree in nursing.

I'm happy to help my aunt, but here's my dilemma: I need to find the time to walk her through the application process in person rather than over the phone. I recently went back to college, and my free time is limited. How can I best help my aunt? -- Lending a Hand, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR LENDING A HAND: Ask your aunt what her deadline is for completing her application. Review your schedule to see when you have an hour or more of free time before the deadline. Schedule a face-to-face meeting with your aunt, and let her know in advance that you want the two of you to concentrate on getting the application completed at that meeting.

You may have inspired your aunt to go back to college. Continue to encourage her. Let her know how rigorous you are finding the process to be. She will need to step into the academic rhythm in order for it to work for her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm so tired of politics, and I wonder if things will ever change. I got excited about the possibility of change when our current president was first elected, but the more I see, the less convinced I am that anything can happen.

Is it wrong for me to be a cynic? Is there anything I can do to help things along? Sometimes I think that being a citizen means nothing. -- Despondent, Atlanta

DEAR DESPONDENT: Our country is often called "the great experiment in democracy" because it is still a relatively young nation whose intentions, as stated in the Constitution, are lofty.

You are right to be frustrated by the current state of affairs, particularly with how ineffective our government seems to be. While it may seem idealistic to believe that change can occur, you must know that it can. Legislators, lobbyists, activists and concerned citizens are working hard to change things every day. Does it get messy? Yes. Every president in recent history has spoken of the challenges of moving legislation through Congress. Local officials have their complaints as well.

My recommendation is that you put your hat in the ring if you feel moved to try to make specific changes. The beauty of being an American is that you have the right to run for office, volunteer for a political campaign or start a nonprofit organization focused on an issue about which you are passionate. You have options.

Will it be easy? No. Is it worth it to do something rather than be sad or frustrated? Without question.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend has been fighting (verbally) with her husband for as long as I can remember. The other day, she told me they are now talking about getting a divorce. I'm not at all surprised. I am a little concerned that it's just more talk. She wants to know my opinion. I don't want to give one, because whatever I say won't matter anyway.

How can I support her without getting in the middle of her marriage? Over the years I have listened or even changed the subject, but she is more insistent now. -- Reluctant, Chicago

DEAR RELUCTANT: Stick with your gut. You are not married to either of them, so you don't really know what will help them -- even though you are her best friend.

Resist the temptation to share your opinion. Instead, you can ask pointed questions that help your friend look objectively at her life, such as: Can you imagine your life in five years? Is your husband a part of it? What do you want for yourself in the future? What can you do to get to that place?

Envisioning the future you want is a way to figure out how you want to devote your time. If your friend is willing to do that exercise and possibly do it with her husband, she may be able to see her way to clarity.

Of course, seeking professional help is always wise in times of stress.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a girlfriend who is obsessed with getting married. Most of her waking time is spent thinking about marriage -- from the suit her future husband will wear on their wedding day to the food she would like to eat at their reception. I went to her Facebook page the other day and saw at least 100 postings about marriage.

I think my girlfriend is losing it because she does not have a boyfriend. I'm all for planning for the future, but I think my friend needs to get her head out of the clouds. Please help bring her back to earth. -- Levelheaded, Chicago

 DEAR LEVELHEADED: Your friend has the right to enjoy her fantasy. Is it odd? Perhaps, but she certainly has claimed it, and it sounds like she is having fun.

If you don't want to participate in her fantasy, that's your prerogative. If she asks for your opinion, you can tell her you are concerned that she is not basing her thoughts in reality. But only offer that if she asks you. Otherwise, rather than put a damper on her fantasy, simply tell her that you care about her deeply and hope she will find her husband and turn her dreams into reality.

Who knows? Because she is so focused on getting married, she may attract a spouse. If not, she surely is having a good time on the journey.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents received an invitation for a birthday party from a mutual friend. I'm a little puzzled that I didn't receive an invitation to the party, considering that I formally introduced my parents to said friend. I'm not sure if I should ask for an invitation or not worry about not getting one. What do you think? -- No Need to RSVP, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR NO NEED TO RSVP: The question is, how passionate are you about going to this party? Yes, you introduced your parents to this person. That may have been more perfect than you imagined. They could be just right for one another, while you may be an outsider. It could be that they have become close and don't even remember the introduction. Should they remember? Of course, but it's in human nature to sometimes forget.

If you really want to go to the party and/or you legitimately feel slighted, reach out to your friend to say that you would like to attend. Be prepared for either a yes or no answer.

Ultimately, I encourage you to be happy for your parents and content with whether or not you go. I understand that you may consider this friend rude, but my gut says that she has fallen in love with your parents and inadvertently forgotten why or how they met in the first place. Consider your matchmaking a success and move forward.