DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm so tired of politics, and I wonder if things will ever change. I got excited about the possibility of change when our current president was first elected, but the more I see, the less convinced I am that anything can happen.

Is it wrong for me to be a cynic? Is there anything I can do to help things along? Sometimes I think that being a citizen means nothing. -- Despondent, Atlanta

DEAR DESPONDENT: Our country is often called "the great experiment in democracy" because it is still a relatively young nation whose intentions, as stated in the Constitution, are lofty.

You are right to be frustrated by the current state of affairs, particularly with how ineffective our government seems to be. While it may seem idealistic to believe that change can occur, you must know that it can. Legislators, lobbyists, activists and concerned citizens are working hard to change things every day. Does it get messy? Yes. Every president in recent history has spoken of the challenges of moving legislation through Congress. Local officials have their complaints as well.

My recommendation is that you put your hat in the ring if you feel moved to try to make specific changes. The beauty of being an American is that you have the right to run for office, volunteer for a political campaign or start a nonprofit organization focused on an issue about which you are passionate. You have options.

Will it be easy? No. Is it worth it to do something rather than be sad or frustrated? Without question.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend has been fighting (verbally) with her husband for as long as I can remember. The other day, she told me they are now talking about getting a divorce. I'm not at all surprised. I am a little concerned that it's just more talk. She wants to know my opinion. I don't want to give one, because whatever I say won't matter anyway.

How can I support her without getting in the middle of her marriage? Over the years I have listened or even changed the subject, but she is more insistent now. -- Reluctant, Chicago

DEAR RELUCTANT: Stick with your gut. You are not married to either of them, so you don't really know what will help them -- even though you are her best friend.

Resist the temptation to share your opinion. Instead, you can ask pointed questions that help your friend look objectively at her life, such as: Can you imagine your life in five years? Is your husband a part of it? What do you want for yourself in the future? What can you do to get to that place?

Envisioning the future you want is a way to figure out how you want to devote your time. If your friend is willing to do that exercise and possibly do it with her husband, she may be able to see her way to clarity.

Of course, seeking professional help is always wise in times of stress.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a girlfriend who is obsessed with getting married. Most of her waking time is spent thinking about marriage -- from the suit her future husband will wear on their wedding day to the food she would like to eat at their reception. I went to her Facebook page the other day and saw at least 100 postings about marriage.

I think my girlfriend is losing it because she does not have a boyfriend. I'm all for planning for the future, but I think my friend needs to get her head out of the clouds. Please help bring her back to earth. -- Levelheaded, Chicago

 DEAR LEVELHEADED: Your friend has the right to enjoy her fantasy. Is it odd? Perhaps, but she certainly has claimed it, and it sounds like she is having fun.

If you don't want to participate in her fantasy, that's your prerogative. If she asks for your opinion, you can tell her you are concerned that she is not basing her thoughts in reality. But only offer that if she asks you. Otherwise, rather than put a damper on her fantasy, simply tell her that you care about her deeply and hope she will find her husband and turn her dreams into reality.

Who knows? Because she is so focused on getting married, she may attract a spouse. If not, she surely is having a good time on the journey.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents received an invitation for a birthday party from a mutual friend. I'm a little puzzled that I didn't receive an invitation to the party, considering that I formally introduced my parents to said friend. I'm not sure if I should ask for an invitation or not worry about not getting one. What do you think? -- No Need to RSVP, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR NO NEED TO RSVP: The question is, how passionate are you about going to this party? Yes, you introduced your parents to this person. That may have been more perfect than you imagined. They could be just right for one another, while you may be an outsider. It could be that they have become close and don't even remember the introduction. Should they remember? Of course, but it's in human nature to sometimes forget.

If you really want to go to the party and/or you legitimately feel slighted, reach out to your friend to say that you would like to attend. Be prepared for either a yes or no answer.

Ultimately, I encourage you to be happy for your parents and content with whether or not you go. I understand that you may consider this friend rude, but my gut says that she has fallen in love with your parents and inadvertently forgotten why or how they met in the first place. Consider your matchmaking a success and move forward.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm at my wit's end with my oldest son. I received a phone call from his high school guidance counselor saying he has missed four weeks of school. I'm really disappointed in him, because I thought he was going to school.

I leave the house at 6:30 in the morning to go to work, and my son doesn't have to leave for school until 8:30. When I questioned him about not attending school for the past four weeks, he told me that he was in his classes and that his teachers did not check his attendance.

I do not like people lying to me. I really wanted to wring his neck, but I refrained from such thoughts. I'm tired, and I do not know what to do to help. Any ideas? -- Mommy Dearest, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR MOMMY DEAREST: You have to get to the truth. Since the school contacted you about a prolonged absence, it's likely that your son was, indeed, absent.

Since you cannot be there, you need an advocate at the school to be your eyes and ears. See if the counselor can help you. Talk to him or her about ways to support your son. Figure out what interests your son about school and attempt to lure him to be present with those things.

Keep talking to your son about his future and about how his choices today will definitely affect his options for tomorrow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I agree with your response to the college graduate (producer) whose old friends (moochers) were living with him while they were trying to "get on their feet." He was getting tired of it and needed more space, etc. Your advice was that he set a date for them to move out and be as helpful as possible until that time.

How different is that from the welfare, Medicaid and public assistance housing folks who have been mooching off the government and taxpayers (producers) for years at the expense of others? It is really the same thing, but on a smaller scale. And it's getting worse, because the moochers are hyperbreeding and causing a continuation of the problem with no hope of it changing or slowing down. I'd love to discuss this with you. How do we stop this insanity? -- Small Producer, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR SMALL PRODUCER: This is obviously a controversial topic, and I am not an expert on it.

I see your point. I do not think that anyone should assume that someone else -- be it a parent, a friend or the government -- will take care of them forever. But I also firmly believe in supporting those in need. I feel that it is an important part of humanity.

I appreciate the public assistance programs that our government offers and know they serve millions of people who otherwise would be in dire straits. At the same time, I firmly believe that each of us has the duty to do our best to improve our lives and become independent.

I know many stories of incredibly successful people who at one point needed and used the services of the government to tide them over while they repositioned themselves. I believe that public assistance is good. I do not believe it should be guaranteed for life.