DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a girlfriend who is obsessed with getting married. Most of her waking time is spent thinking about marriage -- from the suit her future husband will wear on their wedding day to the food she would like to eat at their reception. I went to her Facebook page the other day and saw at least 100 postings about marriage.

I think my girlfriend is losing it because she does not have a boyfriend. I'm all for planning for the future, but I think my friend needs to get her head out of the clouds. Please help bring her back to earth. -- Levelheaded, Chicago

 DEAR LEVELHEADED: Your friend has the right to enjoy her fantasy. Is it odd? Perhaps, but she certainly has claimed it, and it sounds like she is having fun.

If you don't want to participate in her fantasy, that's your prerogative. If she asks for your opinion, you can tell her you are concerned that she is not basing her thoughts in reality. But only offer that if she asks you. Otherwise, rather than put a damper on her fantasy, simply tell her that you care about her deeply and hope she will find her husband and turn her dreams into reality.

Who knows? Because she is so focused on getting married, she may attract a spouse. If not, she surely is having a good time on the journey.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents received an invitation for a birthday party from a mutual friend. I'm a little puzzled that I didn't receive an invitation to the party, considering that I formally introduced my parents to said friend. I'm not sure if I should ask for an invitation or not worry about not getting one. What do you think? -- No Need to RSVP, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR NO NEED TO RSVP: The question is, how passionate are you about going to this party? Yes, you introduced your parents to this person. That may have been more perfect than you imagined. They could be just right for one another, while you may be an outsider. It could be that they have become close and don't even remember the introduction. Should they remember? Of course, but it's in human nature to sometimes forget.

If you really want to go to the party and/or you legitimately feel slighted, reach out to your friend to say that you would like to attend. Be prepared for either a yes or no answer.

Ultimately, I encourage you to be happy for your parents and content with whether or not you go. I understand that you may consider this friend rude, but my gut says that she has fallen in love with your parents and inadvertently forgotten why or how they met in the first place. Consider your matchmaking a success and move forward.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm at my wit's end with my oldest son. I received a phone call from his high school guidance counselor saying he has missed four weeks of school. I'm really disappointed in him, because I thought he was going to school.

I leave the house at 6:30 in the morning to go to work, and my son doesn't have to leave for school until 8:30. When I questioned him about not attending school for the past four weeks, he told me that he was in his classes and that his teachers did not check his attendance.

I do not like people lying to me. I really wanted to wring his neck, but I refrained from such thoughts. I'm tired, and I do not know what to do to help. Any ideas? -- Mommy Dearest, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR MOMMY DEAREST: You have to get to the truth. Since the school contacted you about a prolonged absence, it's likely that your son was, indeed, absent.

Since you cannot be there, you need an advocate at the school to be your eyes and ears. See if the counselor can help you. Talk to him or her about ways to support your son. Figure out what interests your son about school and attempt to lure him to be present with those things.

Keep talking to your son about his future and about how his choices today will definitely affect his options for tomorrow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I agree with your response to the college graduate (producer) whose old friends (moochers) were living with him while they were trying to "get on their feet." He was getting tired of it and needed more space, etc. Your advice was that he set a date for them to move out and be as helpful as possible until that time.

How different is that from the welfare, Medicaid and public assistance housing folks who have been mooching off the government and taxpayers (producers) for years at the expense of others? It is really the same thing, but on a smaller scale. And it's getting worse, because the moochers are hyperbreeding and causing a continuation of the problem with no hope of it changing or slowing down. I'd love to discuss this with you. How do we stop this insanity? -- Small Producer, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR SMALL PRODUCER: This is obviously a controversial topic, and I am not an expert on it.

I see your point. I do not think that anyone should assume that someone else -- be it a parent, a friend or the government -- will take care of them forever. But I also firmly believe in supporting those in need. I feel that it is an important part of humanity.

I appreciate the public assistance programs that our government offers and know they serve millions of people who otherwise would be in dire straits. At the same time, I firmly believe that each of us has the duty to do our best to improve our lives and become independent.

I know many stories of incredibly successful people who at one point needed and used the services of the government to tide them over while they repositioned themselves. I believe that public assistance is good. I do not believe it should be guaranteed for life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a party recently and ran into a relative of my ex-husband. I haven't seen my ex or his family for decades. It was so unusual and awkward at first, because my ex and I did not have a good breakup. We were young and stupid about relationships, and I didn't treat him well.

When I saw this woman, it brought back all of those memories. She was kind to me, and after a bit I relaxed. But I also wondered what she would go back and report about me.

How should you handle a situation like that, when you run into somebody from another life? -- Blast From the Past, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BLAST FROM THE PAST: It's key that you remain in the present. There's no need to dredge up the challenges or triumphs of a past marriage. You can acknowledge the person you encounter and ask about his or her life. People love to talk about themselves.

In this situation, it's probably best not to ask about the ex. If you haven't been involved for years, there's no need to rekindle interest now. If the person you encounter mentions your ex, you can say you hope he or she is well, but don't start a discussion about him or her. When you part ways, be gracious. You always want to demonstrate the kind of person you are today.

Many people were naive and immature when they were young. Have you become wiser? If so, demonstrate that by being grounded in who you are now. Practicing forgiveness for yourself and others will make it easier for you to be comfortably present with people from your past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I talked to my wife a few weeks ago about purchasing a car for our family. We have a 6-year-old girl and a 7-month-old son. My wife likes the idea of purchasing a new car, but she does not want to drive. When I asked why, she said, "Men and not women should chauffeur their family."

I love my wife, but she can be really stubborn with her independent thoughts. I want to make my wife's life easier when I'm working late or out of town. Please tell my wife about the freedom of driving. -- Family Man, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR FAMILY MAN: I don't necessarily think of your wife's comment as an independent thought. Her idea that she should not drive sounds particularly old school. I wonder what lies beneath her comment. It could be that she truly does believe that women shouldn't drive, or at least that wives shouldn't.

More likely, she has a fear of driving. If she hasn't driven before (which is common for New Yorkers who don't need a car to get around), she may feel unsure of her driving ability and skittish about getting behind the wheel with her precious cargo of children.

Probe a bit to find out what the real issue is. If she is nervous about driving, giving her a car may not be a viable option.