DEAR HARRIETTE: I've had a crush on a guy for a while. We were really good friends, but suddenly he stopped speaking to me. I was pretty upset, but I resolved to get over him. I've told him I like him, but he didn't really give me a straight response when I asked how he felt.

After not talking to me for months, he randomly texted me a couple days ago like nothing weird had happened. Should I ask him what's going on? -- Mixed Signals, Pittsburgh

DEAR MIXED SIGNALS: Keep it simple. Ask him what he wants. Chances are that if he has reached out to you out of the blue, he wants something. You probably were a great friend to him. Perhaps he needs a shoulder to cry on. Or he may want your help with something you historically did for him without a second thought. Listen and learn. Confronting him about his disappearance, at least at the outset, will most likely make him disappear again.

You also have to decide what you are willing to do. Do you want to go back into friends mode and be his buddy? If so, you may decide to just slip into that role.

It would be best for you to cool your crush. Directing a lot of emotional energy toward this guy may only make it more difficult for you to find a neutral emotional meeting ground. Calm down and let the relationship unfold naturally.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Concerning the letter from "Best Friend," who worried about her friend whose father died unexpectedly: Please note that families and individuals grieve in many different ways and on different schedules.

My father died unexpectedly after living with me the last two years of his life. I was much like the daughter your reader described. I was pleased that I took my dad's death in stride. I made arrangements and donated clothing quickly and efficiently. But six months later, I found myself bursting into tears at stoplights. It took that long for me to be ready to grieve. I loved (and still love) my dad very much. My family handles grief very privately.

I suspect "Best Friend" doesn't understand that her friend is responding differently than she would. And calling twice a day sounds like a bit much to me. -- Like-Minded, Chicago

DEAR LIKE-MINDED: Thank you for sharing. Of course you are right that people grieve according to their own schedules. Your experience -- in which the fullness of the loss kicked in much later instead of in the early days -- is common, too.

I also know that checking in too often can be annoying. For some people, two calls a day is perfect; for others, it could be way too much. This is why friends need to pay close attention to those who are grieving and gauge when it feels like enough is enough.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle is a local businessman who has had some bad breaks recently. A local blogger just wrote a scathing article about his business practices, and it is making its way all over our community.

I feel so bad for my uncle. He is a good man who didn't mean to mess up like he did. I figure he must be pretty embarrassed. What can I do to make him feel better? Should I pretend like I don't know about the blog post, or should I say something? -- Uncle Supporter, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR UNCLE SUPPORTER: Sometimes not addressing the elephant in the room just makes it more uncomfortable. The best thing you can do is to visit your uncle, give him a big hug, and tell him you love him and are so sorry that the blogger wrote such a horrible article about him.

By stating the obvious, it no longer has to be a source of tension. You need not ask your uncle about his business practices or the article. If he wants to talk about any of it, he will. What he will appreciate most from you is your loving support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently ran into a woman I met many years ago. She was with a former employee of mine -- a nut job whom I had to fire. Every time I have seen the former employee over the years, it has been weird. She is dishonest and seems to be mentally unstable.

The other woman, however, seems nice, and she wants us to reconnect. I asked if she and my former employee are still friends, and she said they talk now and then.

I don't want to be in my former employee's life. Should I just walk away from this nice woman, too? -- Choosey Friend, Baton Rouge, La.

DEAR CHOOSEY FRIEND: Be honest with this potential new friend. Tell her that you would be happy to reconnect with her but that you have no interest in a relationship with your former employee. By establishing your terms clearly, she can react to them and respond. And remember: Just because she stays in touch with your former employee does not mean that you would automatically find yourself in her company.

Instead of dredging up all your memories from the past, stay in the present. Have tea with this woman. Find out if you have any current shared interests on which to develop a friendship. In that way, you will be able to tell if this was simply a pleasant momentary reconnection or a budding friendship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy your column almost every morning in the Chicago Tribune. I find your advice on target, supportive, realistic and straightforward.

I'm writing in response to your comment that hospice care usually indicates someone is in the last weeks or days of life. Unfortunately, you are correct that people often seek hospice services when death is imminent. This is a tragedy, because hospice services are available (and paid for by Medicare and other payers) to individuals who have life-limiting illness and may not survive beyond six months.

The American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (aahpm.org) and the Hospice and Palliative Nurses Association (hpna.org) work hard to change the public perception that the benefits of hospice and palliative care are limited to the last weeks and days of life. In fact, these professional organizations encourage physicians and other health-care providers to introduce palliative care at the time of a life-limiting diagnosis. Hospice and palliative care offer symptom relief and support for quality of life when cure-oriented health-care services are no longer effective or desired.

Although my nursing specialty is not hospice and palliative care, I have been privileged to serve on the National Board for Certification of Hospice and Palliative Nurses since 2008 and complete my second and final term in 2013. During this time, I have learned so much about these valuable services and the dedicated professionals who provide them. Persons with life-limiting illnesses suffer needlessly because of the perception that hospice care means giving up hope and is reserved for the last hours of life.

Please acknowledge in your column that palliative and hospice services provide great comfort to individuals with life-limiting illnesses and their families and that they can access these services long before their final hours. An additional resource: getpalliativecare.org. -- Compassionate Nurse, Chicago

DEAR COMPASSIONATE NURSE: Your voice represents many who have written me to clarify the role and timeline associated with hospice care. I want to thank all of you for your input.

It is true that many people consider hospice as the last stop, as it often is. But, as you and others have pointed out, although it can be a vital support for families during a loved one's final days, hospice also can be a much longer-term experience than a few days or weeks.

Another point about hospice that some may not know is that this service is offered at a variety of facilities and also at home. I want to apologize for painting an incomplete picture of this vital service. I appreciate your clarifying comments.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When someone dies, it used to be traditional for people to give their family money in an envelope to help defray the costs. Is this still an acceptable practice? A co-worker's mother recently passed away, and I wasn't sure if it was in good taste to do that. -- Death Etiquette, Salt Lake City

DEAR DEATH ETIQUETTE: Yes, it is still common practice in some areas, especially in the South, to put cash in an envelope with a condolence card when someone dies. Amounts vary from as little as $10 to whatever one can afford. It is not a requirement, however.

If you think your co-worker would appreciate this gesture, go for it. If you think it could cause discomfort, give the card and flowers or a contribution to a charity of choice.