DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy your column almost every morning in the Chicago Tribune. I find your advice on target, supportive, realistic and straightforward.

I'm writing in response to your comment that hospice care usually indicates someone is in the last weeks or days of life. Unfortunately, you are correct that people often seek hospice services when death is imminent. This is a tragedy, because hospice services are available (and paid for by Medicare and other payers) to individuals who have life-limiting illness and may not survive beyond six months.

The American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (aahpm.org) and the Hospice and Palliative Nurses Association (hpna.org) work hard to change the public perception that the benefits of hospice and palliative care are limited to the last weeks and days of life. In fact, these professional organizations encourage physicians and other health-care providers to introduce palliative care at the time of a life-limiting diagnosis. Hospice and palliative care offer symptom relief and support for quality of life when cure-oriented health-care services are no longer effective or desired.

Although my nursing specialty is not hospice and palliative care, I have been privileged to serve on the National Board for Certification of Hospice and Palliative Nurses since 2008 and complete my second and final term in 2013. During this time, I have learned so much about these valuable services and the dedicated professionals who provide them. Persons with life-limiting illnesses suffer needlessly because of the perception that hospice care means giving up hope and is reserved for the last hours of life.

Please acknowledge in your column that palliative and hospice services provide great comfort to individuals with life-limiting illnesses and their families and that they can access these services long before their final hours. An additional resource: getpalliativecare.org. -- Compassionate Nurse, Chicago

DEAR COMPASSIONATE NURSE: Your voice represents many who have written me to clarify the role and timeline associated with hospice care. I want to thank all of you for your input.

It is true that many people consider hospice as the last stop, as it often is. But, as you and others have pointed out, although it can be a vital support for families during a loved one's final days, hospice also can be a much longer-term experience than a few days or weeks.

Another point about hospice that some may not know is that this service is offered at a variety of facilities and also at home. I want to apologize for painting an incomplete picture of this vital service. I appreciate your clarifying comments.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When someone dies, it used to be traditional for people to give their family money in an envelope to help defray the costs. Is this still an acceptable practice? A co-worker's mother recently passed away, and I wasn't sure if it was in good taste to do that. -- Death Etiquette, Salt Lake City

DEAR DEATH ETIQUETTE: Yes, it is still common practice in some areas, especially in the South, to put cash in an envelope with a condolence card when someone dies. Amounts vary from as little as $10 to whatever one can afford. It is not a requirement, however.

If you think your co-worker would appreciate this gesture, go for it. If you think it could cause discomfort, give the card and flowers or a contribution to a charity of choice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently turned 40, and I have decided to go back to college to finish my degree. I can truly say that I have saved my life.

Here's my question: I'm taking 16 credits, and I know it is a lot since I haven't been in school in almost 20 years. I would like to know if it is possible to create a healthy balance of college and a simple social life and, if so, how? -- Mr. Midlife, Chicago

DEAR MR. MIDLIFE: Congratulations on making such a huge effort to reset your life's course!

I recommend that you do what most successful freshmen do: Focus solely on your studies. Sixteen credits will be a lot of work -- work that is different from that performed at most jobs. You have to go to class, study, write papers and be evaluated on your work constantly.

For your first semester and possibly longer, put your social life on hold. If you go to church or have another regular spiritual commitment, you can do that, but don't volunteer for extra activities.

Look at your class schedule and mark the holidays. You can socialize during spring break and any other time when your school is not in session.

After you get a sense of how you are managing your course load, you can gradually add a few simple activities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This is my first week in a new job at a prestigious hospital in New York City, and I feel uncomfortable wearing my current wardrobe to work. In my management role, I do not have to wear a uniform.

Here's my problem: I'm a size 16. I wear a size 11 in women's shoes, and I am curvy. Can you suggest colors and designer lines that would be suitable for me to wear? -- Fashion Plus, Manhattan, N.Y.

DEAR FASHION PLUS: It's wonderful that you have a new job and want to look your best.

There are many options for professional plus-size fashion these days, and at virtually every price point. Nearly every major designer has a plus line, not to mention the traditional plus-size companies.

Don't be limited by color other than what seems appropriate where you work. Being large does not preclude you from wearing colorful or printed clothing. And, by the way, your size in clothing and shoes is more common than you may think.

It sounds like your current style is a big part of your challenge. You may want to engage the help of a personal shopper or stylist. Many department stores have them on staff at no extra charge. By all means, have someone give you feedback about the different outfits you try on so that you find silhouettes that flatter your curvy figure. If necessary, have your clothing altered to ensure that it fits your curves just right. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I received a last-minute phone call on New Year's Eve from a female friend, saying she wanted to be my date to celebrate the new year. I was slow to answer her request, because she just broke up with her boyfriend of three years.

I finally answered her by saying that I was invited to a friend's house for a private New Year's party. I felt kind of bad, because I could easily have asked my friend if I could bring a date for the evening, but I didn't. Do you think I was wrong for saying no? -- Happy New Year, Newark, N.J.

DEAR HAPPY NEW YEAR: In a word, no. It would be one thing if your friend's call had not come at the last minute. The fact that she reached out to you so late for such a major occasion means that she knew there was a good chance you wouldn't be able to do it. She took a chance in asking you. It's good that you responded to her, even if only to say that it wouldn't work out.

If you would like to support her during this tender time after her breakup, reach out to her now and invite her for coffee or something similar. But there is no need to rehash New Year's Eve. That is in the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you deal with an absentee father? I cannot believe this man forgot our son's third birthday. There was no phone call, no text and no email from this man. I was fortunate enough to have my family around, and we had a good time.

My son's father finally called me to say he forgot the birthday. This is the second year in a row that he was not around. How do I express my displeasure? -- Mama Drama, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR MAMA DRAMA: Especially since your son's father is not in your son's life every day, it's important for you to support and nurture their relationship.

You can call and let him know that you were terribly disappointed that he forgot. But don't beat him up about it. Instead, tell him that you will help him remember next year. In this way, he won't feel as if you are constantly testing him. Also do your best to make him feel included. Tell him what you will be doing for the birthday, and invite him to participate. This should help him choose to pay closer attention.