DEAR HARRIETTE: I received a last-minute phone call on New Year's Eve from a female friend, saying she wanted to be my date to celebrate the new year. I was slow to answer her request, because she just broke up with her boyfriend of three years.

I finally answered her by saying that I was invited to a friend's house for a private New Year's party. I felt kind of bad, because I could easily have asked my friend if I could bring a date for the evening, but I didn't. Do you think I was wrong for saying no? -- Happy New Year, Newark, N.J.

DEAR HAPPY NEW YEAR: In a word, no. It would be one thing if your friend's call had not come at the last minute. The fact that she reached out to you so late for such a major occasion means that she knew there was a good chance you wouldn't be able to do it. She took a chance in asking you. It's good that you responded to her, even if only to say that it wouldn't work out.

If you would like to support her during this tender time after her breakup, reach out to her now and invite her for coffee or something similar. But there is no need to rehash New Year's Eve. That is in the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you deal with an absentee father? I cannot believe this man forgot our son's third birthday. There was no phone call, no text and no email from this man. I was fortunate enough to have my family around, and we had a good time.

My son's father finally called me to say he forgot the birthday. This is the second year in a row that he was not around. How do I express my displeasure? -- Mama Drama, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR MAMA DRAMA: Especially since your son's father is not in your son's life every day, it's important for you to support and nurture their relationship.

You can call and let him know that you were terribly disappointed that he forgot. But don't beat him up about it. Instead, tell him that you will help him remember next year. In this way, he won't feel as if you are constantly testing him. Also do your best to make him feel included. Tell him what you will be doing for the birthday, and invite him to participate. This should help him choose to pay closer attention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it ever too late to send a thank-you note? My kid got lots of cool presents for his birthday. I sent a blanket note of thanks through the online invitation we sent out, but when my kid started writing notes, we all got distracted.

Can we jump back on it? Is it still OK a couple of months later? -- Neglectful Mom, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NEGLECTFUL MOM: Stop beating yourself up and pick up the pen. Sit down with your child and complete your list of thank-you notes.

To answer your question, it's never too late to say "thank you." These days, it is acceptable to send thank-you notes via your online invitation service, although it is nowhere near as personal and engaging as handwritten notes sent by regular mail.

I feel like this act of etiquette is becoming a rare art form. Imagine how heartwarming it is when someone receives a note of gratitude via any mode of communication!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a lot of presents for the holiday, most of them things I don't want. What's fantastic is that they came with gift receipts. I can take them back if I want, and what I want most is the money. I'm short on cash but long on stuff.

Do you think the people who gave me the presents would be offended if I simply cashed in their gifts? I suppose I don't have to tell them, but what if they ask? Do I tell the truth? I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. -- Gifted, Shreveport, La.

DEAR GIFTED: Anybody who gave you a present with a gift receipt in it meant for you to have the option of keeping the item or returning it. You should not feel that you are in any way betraying the sentiment behind the gift by returning it for cash.

I encourage you to send thank-you notes for all your gifts. If you return one, there is no need to state that in the note. Instead, express gratitude for the giver's thoughtfulness and for remembering you during the season.

If asked how you liked the gift, you can say that you thought it was lovely but that you returned it because you wanted to pool your resources to do something else. Express your gratitude for the opportunity to do that with this person's gift.

If asked what you did with the money, respond truthfully. If you bought something else, say so. If you paid your phone bill or rent, say that. If you put it in the bank, say that. By revealing what you actually did with their gift, you will provide insight for the givers in the future. Being coy, shy or unresponsive when asked what you did will only make you and the other person feel awkward, which is totally unnecessary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A student of mine (a 10th-grader) brought me a paper he wrote over the holidays. He was eager for me to read it in his presence, which is not usually my practice. But I read it, as he seemed intent upon getting my opinion on the spot.

What I read was disturbing. This young man seems to have had some kind of psychological breakdown. I am no expert on the matter, but in his writing, he states that he eventually went to a psychiatrist, who told the student and his mother that he has a specific mental condition.

He wants to publish something about his experience. This may eventually be a good idea, but the work he presented is not ready for publication. I didn't know what to say to him, so I referred him to an editor friend. I realize this was probably unfair, as I gave my friend no warning about what he would be responding to.

I don't think I handled this well. I don't want to hurt this young man's feelings, and I don't want to put a friend in an awkward situation. What can I do now? --Perplexed, Seattle

DEAR PERPLEXED: You are right that you should not have referred your student to your editor friend without an advance conversation. It's not too late to fix that.

Call your friend and explain what you know about this student's situation. Ask for his professional opinion about the literary value of the work in question. Is there a chance your student could be published with a few tweaks, or does much more work need to be done? Your friend may even be able to give constructive suggestions to this student without being too critical, based upon his emotional state.

You also should talk to the student about his experience. Ask how he's doing now and if he is getting the support he needs. Tell him you would like to support him further by talking to his parents and introducing him to the school counselor, if they don't already have a relationship. Be proactive by leading him back to his family, possibly to talk to them about the story if he is comfortable sharing it with them.

The fact that he wrote down and wants to share what he has been going through is fantastic. That means he is not ashamed. Help him to communicate further about what's happening to him in safe spaces -- at home and/or with a professional counselor or his primary care physician. Do not try to be his psychiatrist. Leave that to someone who is trained for that purpose.

For more information on the types of mental illness often identified in teens, read aacap.org/cs/root/resources_for_families/glossary_of_symptoms_and_mental_illnesses_affecting_teenagers.

So many children and teens suffer from mental illness. If you have stories of success or challenge that you would like to share, please send them to me.