DEAR HARRIETTE: A student of mine (a 10th-grader) brought me a paper he wrote over the holidays. He was eager for me to read it in his presence, which is not usually my practice. But I read it, as he seemed intent upon getting my opinion on the spot.

What I read was disturbing. This young man seems to have had some kind of psychological breakdown. I am no expert on the matter, but in his writing, he states that he eventually went to a psychiatrist, who told the student and his mother that he has a specific mental condition.

He wants to publish something about his experience. This may eventually be a good idea, but the work he presented is not ready for publication. I didn't know what to say to him, so I referred him to an editor friend. I realize this was probably unfair, as I gave my friend no warning about what he would be responding to.

I don't think I handled this well. I don't want to hurt this young man's feelings, and I don't want to put a friend in an awkward situation. What can I do now? --Perplexed, Seattle

DEAR PERPLEXED: You are right that you should not have referred your student to your editor friend without an advance conversation. It's not too late to fix that.

Call your friend and explain what you know about this student's situation. Ask for his professional opinion about the literary value of the work in question. Is there a chance your student could be published with a few tweaks, or does much more work need to be done? Your friend may even be able to give constructive suggestions to this student without being too critical, based upon his emotional state.

You also should talk to the student about his experience. Ask how he's doing now and if he is getting the support he needs. Tell him you would like to support him further by talking to his parents and introducing him to the school counselor, if they don't already have a relationship. Be proactive by leading him back to his family, possibly to talk to them about the story if he is comfortable sharing it with them.

The fact that he wrote down and wants to share what he has been going through is fantastic. That means he is not ashamed. Help him to communicate further about what's happening to him in safe spaces -- at home and/or with a professional counselor or his primary care physician. Do not try to be his psychiatrist. Leave that to someone who is trained for that purpose.

For more information on the types of mental illness often identified in teens, read aacap.org/cs/root/resources_for_families/glossary_of_symptoms_and_mental_illnesses_affecting_teenagers.

So many children and teens suffer from mental illness. If you have stories of success or challenge that you would like to share, please send them to me.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A lot of people are using websites to raise money for their projects. I've read up about them and see that many are legit. The thing is, I am not a bank. I have a lot of friends in creative fields, and they keep sending me requests. Many of them are from Kickstarter, which I know is good, but still.

At first I was feeling guilty for not giving them money. Now I am beginning to feel annoyed. I want to be a good friend and to support my associates. That support cannot mean that I always have to fork up cash, right? -- Tapped Out, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR TAPPED OUT: I will say first that I think these financial models for fundraising are brilliant. They definitely have worked for many people who are raising small amounts of cash.

I agree with you that sometimes the requests come in fast and furious. The smallest amount a person can give to these opportunities is low, so recipients may feel some guilt in rejecting them. Of course you can give $5 or $10 or $50, right?

My advice is to give to these fundraising campaigns only if you want to do so. Create your own budget that includes charitable giving and investing. Make decisions about what efforts you want to support based on your interests and your budget. Should you choose not to support an unsolicited cause, you can still send your good wishes -- without the check.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel kind of stupid or cliched, because I want to start an exercise program and get my body together, and I know that everybody says this in January. I feel stupid that I haven't gotten it together before now, but I'm inspired by people like Jennifer Hudson who have lost tons of weight. I figure there's a chance I could lose some, too, with help. How can I get started with something that I will actually do? -- Wanting Fitness, Salt Lake City

DEAR WANTING FITNESS: Congratulations on the desire to be fit. You can get started by visiting your doctor for a complete physical. Make sure your body is healthy enough for exercise, and learn if you have any health concerns.

Next, find a gym that offers classes. Many people who are new to working out get more success when they have help from a teacher and the camaraderie of a classroom setting. You can find a gym of any size, co-ed or single gender, fancy or simple. Find something within your budget that is convenient to your life. Make it easy on yourself, and you stand a better chance of being successful.

You can also consider weight-loss programs such as Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig that help with menu planning and exercise tips. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a road trip with some friends, and one of the most annoying parts of the trip was deciding what music to listen to. All four of us have different musical tastes.

It felt like the battle of the bands. One friend would select a station, and after a while another would change it. Nobody said anything. There was a lot of huffing and puffing, and you could cut the tension with a knife. It was obvious that music was the issue, but nobody addressed it.

What could we have done differently? We are close friends and would like to get together again for a trip, but we have to fix this first. -- Mood Music, Chicago

DEAR MOOD MUSIC: This does not have to be a deal breaker.

There's tremendous value in addressing the elephant in the room. Somebody should have said something like, "Hey, I like other kinds of music besides what you're playing."

A way to make everyone feel comfortable is to agree to rotate the music stations at particular intervals. Perhaps whoever is driving gets to choose the station or type of music. This serves the double purpose of inspiring people to take turns driving during a long trip. You could also decide to change the station every hour. Or you could play a random mix of everyone's musical tastes.

I would caution members of your group to avoid being judgmental about others' music choices. Embrace everyone, and be patient when your preference is not being played.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college friends have been living with me for two months while they try to get on their feet. I'm going nuts having to see them every day and share all my stuff. They have turned out to be slobs at least half the time. I have a small apartment, and they take up too much room. I know they don't mean to be in the way, but my one-bedroom apartment wasn't made for three adults.

I was trying to be nice and offer them a roof over their heads as they get started, but it's too much for me. How can I tell them it's time to go? I'm afraid if they don't leave soon, we won't still be friends. -- Crowded, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR CROWDED: Sit down with your friends and tell them the truth -- that you were happy to help them for a while but that it's time for them to find their own place. Tell them that although you love them, your home is too small for all three of you. Explain that you want to preserve your friendship and your sanity. Give them a date by which to move, and be as supportive as you can until then.