DEAR HARRIETTE: A lot of people are using websites to raise money for their projects. I've read up about them and see that many are legit. The thing is, I am not a bank. I have a lot of friends in creative fields, and they keep sending me requests. Many of them are from Kickstarter, which I know is good, but still.

At first I was feeling guilty for not giving them money. Now I am beginning to feel annoyed. I want to be a good friend and to support my associates. That support cannot mean that I always have to fork up cash, right? -- Tapped Out, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR TAPPED OUT: I will say first that I think these financial models for fundraising are brilliant. They definitely have worked for many people who are raising small amounts of cash.

I agree with you that sometimes the requests come in fast and furious. The smallest amount a person can give to these opportunities is low, so recipients may feel some guilt in rejecting them. Of course you can give $5 or $10 or $50, right?

My advice is to give to these fundraising campaigns only if you want to do so. Create your own budget that includes charitable giving and investing. Make decisions about what efforts you want to support based on your interests and your budget. Should you choose not to support an unsolicited cause, you can still send your good wishes -- without the check.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel kind of stupid or cliched, because I want to start an exercise program and get my body together, and I know that everybody says this in January. I feel stupid that I haven't gotten it together before now, but I'm inspired by people like Jennifer Hudson who have lost tons of weight. I figure there's a chance I could lose some, too, with help. How can I get started with something that I will actually do? -- Wanting Fitness, Salt Lake City

DEAR WANTING FITNESS: Congratulations on the desire to be fit. You can get started by visiting your doctor for a complete physical. Make sure your body is healthy enough for exercise, and learn if you have any health concerns.

Next, find a gym that offers classes. Many people who are new to working out get more success when they have help from a teacher and the camaraderie of a classroom setting. You can find a gym of any size, co-ed or single gender, fancy or simple. Find something within your budget that is convenient to your life. Make it easy on yourself, and you stand a better chance of being successful.

You can also consider weight-loss programs such as Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig that help with menu planning and exercise tips. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a road trip with some friends, and one of the most annoying parts of the trip was deciding what music to listen to. All four of us have different musical tastes.

It felt like the battle of the bands. One friend would select a station, and after a while another would change it. Nobody said anything. There was a lot of huffing and puffing, and you could cut the tension with a knife. It was obvious that music was the issue, but nobody addressed it.

What could we have done differently? We are close friends and would like to get together again for a trip, but we have to fix this first. -- Mood Music, Chicago

DEAR MOOD MUSIC: This does not have to be a deal breaker.

There's tremendous value in addressing the elephant in the room. Somebody should have said something like, "Hey, I like other kinds of music besides what you're playing."

A way to make everyone feel comfortable is to agree to rotate the music stations at particular intervals. Perhaps whoever is driving gets to choose the station or type of music. This serves the double purpose of inspiring people to take turns driving during a long trip. You could also decide to change the station every hour. Or you could play a random mix of everyone's musical tastes.

I would caution members of your group to avoid being judgmental about others' music choices. Embrace everyone, and be patient when your preference is not being played.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college friends have been living with me for two months while they try to get on their feet. I'm going nuts having to see them every day and share all my stuff. They have turned out to be slobs at least half the time. I have a small apartment, and they take up too much room. I know they don't mean to be in the way, but my one-bedroom apartment wasn't made for three adults.

I was trying to be nice and offer them a roof over their heads as they get started, but it's too much for me. How can I tell them it's time to go? I'm afraid if they don't leave soon, we won't still be friends. -- Crowded, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR CROWDED: Sit down with your friends and tell them the truth -- that you were happy to help them for a while but that it's time for them to find their own place. Tell them that although you love them, your home is too small for all three of you. Explain that you want to preserve your friendship and your sanity. Give them a date by which to move, and be as supportive as you can until then.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has told me he doesn't want to be married anymore -- after 10 years and three children. He says I should be happy that he came to me directly before cheating on me or anything else. Really?

I am sick to my stomach. We just had a vacation together, and everything seemed great. Now he says he wants to move out and start his life over. He says he will continue to help take care of the kids but realizes he wants something different in his life -- not me. He thought the only respectable thing to do was to tell me. After he said that, he didn't want to talk about it.

He made a statement with dates for when he wants to leave. When I asked if he had a girlfriend, he said he didn't yet but he was interested in someone. He said he agreed not to mess around with her until we had broken up.

I am so angry. What can I do to save my marriage? --Distraught Wife, Detroit

DEAR DISTRAUGHT WIFE: Ask your husband to go to counseling with you. Even if he confirms that he is ready to move on, ask him to participate in counseling for the sake of the children.

If you can get into a professional counseling environment where the two of you can talk through your challenges and concerns, you stand a chance of learning more about where his heart is and whether there is a chance at reconciliation. It could be that this other woman is a passing interest but that out of respect, he feels he should leave rather than get involved in an affair. The root of the reason for his straying may be something you can identify and work through with help. Try that before you let him go.

No matter what, since you have three children, you will need to figure out how to manage them from two households. A counselor can be instrumental in that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor is a nice guy who always seems to need something. That proverbial cup of sugar has turned into dish detergent, flatware, a bottle of wine, anything. He knocks on our door at all hours of the night when he needs something, and it has become annoying.

Don't get me wrong. My wife and I like him a lot, and he is generous with us. He gives us a bottle of wine for the holidays and odd gifts here and there. But we don't like being his go-to, especially after midnight.

How do we handle this? We live in an apartment building, so it's easy for him to walk a few steps across the hall to make his inquiry. -- Bothered, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR BOTHERED: You don't have to answer the door just because somebody knocks on it. If it's late and you don't want to be bothered, ignore the knock. You can also tell your neighbor that unless it's an emergency, he should not come by after a particular time. You can set boundaries without being mean.