DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in business for about a year and have a unique product I have been selling with some success. I have been working hard at setting up events where I can sell my product, and so far, so good. That is, until something odd happened. Another product designer asked if he could piggyback on my holiday sale right after he received an invitation for it. He offered to send out the online invitation to his mailing list in exchange.

I didn't do it, and I thought it was weird. I have worked so hard to build all of these relationships. Was I wrong to feel uncomfortable about him trying to ride my coattails? -- Not a Pushover, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR NOT A PUSHOVER: Partnering for collective sales events often works to each vendor's benefit because such sales have the potential to attract a broader buying audience. So, no, your acquaintance wasn't inappropriate in making the recommendation.

That said, this person may have approached you in an uncomfortable way. Suggesting at the last minute that the two of you team up suggests that he realized this was an opportunity for him to make some sales. I can see how that might rub you the wrong way.

Why not explore with him the possibility of collaborating in the future?

DEAR HARRIETTE: You gave excellent and sound advice to the reader who was considering becoming an entrepreneur. May I add: Talk to any and all small-business owners about what it's like. I've found they're willing to share their experiences.

Though owning a small business can be rewarding, the costs, responsibilities and risks are enormous, and it may not be worth giving up the rewards of a steady job at which you are obviously valued. Also to be considered are the costs to your family. If you have children, essentially you already have a small business. Being an entrepreneur takes time away from them that can't be replaced. -- Taste of Heaven, Chicago

DEAR TASTE OF HEAVEN: Thank you for your wisdom on what it means to become an entrepreneur. It reminds me of the meeting I had when I started my business. Audrey Smaltz, a longtime entrepreneur and dear friend, sat me down and said I should count on the business costing more than I could ever imagine, especially in the beginning. She told me to save my money because I would likely need those extra coins for electricity and staff. She also talked about how much time it takes to get a business going and the inherent requirement that you remain committed in order to be successful.

That was back in 1995. I can't say that I always followed her advice, but I can say that I'm sure it was sound.

Your point about how to balance a family is a real issue for many business owners. What I do is write lists and make schedules that include everything I need to do, including what I do with my family. In that way, I am less apt to blow off an important meeting, recital, dinner or phone call. I highly recommend it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an etiquette question. My nonprofit organization is partnering with another nonprofit to present a community workshop. We want to present the guest speaker with a gift. The two options are a $25 American Express gift card or flowers (not in a vase).

Which is more acceptable or appropriate? My board members think the gift card is impersonal. -- Do the Right Thing, Baltimore

DEAR DO THE RIGHT THING: It's great that you want to publicly thank your speaker. Since you are not paying the speaker, a token of appreciation is a fine gesture.

I would consider a hybrid of your ideas. How about the gift card with a single rose, so that when you present it, folks in the audience see something and the speaker gets something he or she can actually use? Be sure to include a note of gratitude with the gift card that is signed by the key members of your group.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 26-year-old gay male. I started seeing a guy when I was 19, and we dated for five years. This June, I found out I had contracted HIV from him, and it totally devastated me.

I had resigned myself to remaining single and "bearing the burden alone." I have told only one of my family members and am TERRIFIED to tell the rest. To make it worse, I've met an amazing guy who, despite my best efforts, I've fallen in love with. How can I tell him about this? I'm terrified that if I tell him or my family, I truly will be alone forever. Help! -- Desperately Confused, Washington, D.C.

DEAR DESPERATELY CONFUSED: I want you to notice that you have highs and lows that are taking up equal space in your life right now. It's good to look at them.

I'm so sorry you contracted HIV. I understand being wary of telling your family. You don't have to tell them. But you do have an obligation to tell the man you have fallen in love with. Do you run the risk that he'll run away? Yes, but not necessarily. Being honest upfront allows you to figure out how you can have a relationship and be as safe as possible.

I recommend that you get counseling that will support you in dealing with your health condition and navigating your relationship. One source is the Gay Men's Health Crisis (www.gmhc.org).

You also should know that many couples have weathered this storm. As an example, I have a friend who has been HIV-positive for many years. He didn't talk about it at first, but he didn't hide it, either. He has walked in all of the AIDS walks in New York City, and his friends have long known his status. He has been in a relationship with someone who is not HIV-positive for many years. The great news is that this year his partner asked him to get married. Because the laws have changed in some states, they were able to do just that.

You can have a full life. Take care of your health first. Get support, and tell the man you hope to make your partner.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who can be a real fake sometimes. She's a nice person, but when she dislikes someone, she acts like that person is her best friend. For example, if it's his or her birthday, instead of just writing "Happy Birthday" on Facebook, she'll write "Happy Birthday xoxoxo Love you!!!!!!" and then complain that the person acts like they're best friends!

I tell her that she's giving people the wrong impression and that there is a way to be nice and civil without making a person she dislikes think they're best friends, but she won't listen. What do you think? -- Friend of a Fake, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FRIEND OF A FAKE: Your friend is dishonest, which is not nice at all. It's actually manipulative, given that it makes the other person believe she harbors positive feelings when the opposite is true.

One way you may be able to get her to see the folly of her ways is to ask her about your relationship. Tell her you are a little concerned about how she feels about you. If she usually treats you nicely, is that real or is she faking it with you, too? Ask her. Tell her that you can't be sure what she thinks anymore since she says one thing and means another so frequently.

She will likely call you silly and say that of course you know how she feels. That's when you remind her that other people think she likes them, too, when it's really the opposite.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends wanted to set me up with a guy last year who they thought would be great for me. Nothing ever happened. We never went on a date and barely spoke, and I don't think he even knew they were trying to set us up.

But this year he always acts weirdly around me. We were both at a party, and he danced with my friend after seeing me there. Then he moved over to where I was so he could dance right next to me with her. It was really weird, and I'm confused why he acts this way. What do you think is going on? -- Confused and Single, Jacksonville, Fla.

DEAR CONFUSED AND SINGLE: I think this guy knew that your friends were trying to get you two together, but he was probably too shy to say anything. He sounds more shy than weird. Dancing with your friend but next to you suggests that he wanted to be in your line of sight.

I recommend that you speak to him. Break the ice. Strike up a simple conversation and see if you like each other. You may find that this guy is interesting one-on-one but unsophisticated when it comes to being assertive. You may also find that he is boring or uninteresting. That's fine, too. Figure it out by speaking up.