DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a month, and we've been having a great time. He's a couple years older and has a job, and I'm still in college.

He recently started discussing how he could move to the city where I'm in school and how we could move in together, get married and adopt kids. We're both way too young to be discussing that! The conversation made me uncomfortable, and I'm worried we will have to break up. How should I handle this situation? -- Not Altar-Bound, Philadelphia

DEAR NOT ALTAR-BOUND: Your boyfriend is excited and in love. There's something very sweet about his commitment to your relationship.

Some couples figure out they want to be together from the outset of their relationship and then make it work. It doesn't sound like this is where you are, though, which is fine.

It's time to have a talk with your boyfriend. Tell him it feels to you as if he is moving too fast. Tell him what you like about your relationship, but also tell him that you do not feel ready to think about making the kind of plans he is recommending. Tell the truth. If you haven't really thought about settling down and when you want to do that, say as much. Talk about where your head is. Acknowledge that you appreciate his pledge of love and commitment, and then ask him to slow down.

You may need to say "no" to his ideas if you are not ready to move forward, because you don't want him showing up ready to be your roommate without your OK.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I attend different schools, and I recently discovered that someone she used to have feelings for currently has feelings for her. Her friends are encouraging her to break up with me so she can date him. Even this guy's brother, who doesn't know I'm the one dating her, has been encouraging him to go after my girlfriend, regardless of the fact that she's in a relationship.

I think the way they are acting is offensive to anyone in a relationship. What are your thoughts? A friend who knows the guy's brother offered to speak to him on my behalf. Should I take her up on her offer? -- Feeling Betrayed, Cincinnati

DEAR FEELING BETRAYED: I think you should go to your girlfriend and tell her what you know. Express your concern about these people who are trying to break you two up. Ask her directly if she wants to stay in a relationship with you. Ask if she has begun to like this other guy again. Talk enough to figure out where her heart is.

If it seems like there's a chance for the two of you, ask if she would like to speak to the naysayers by herself or with you to ask them to back off. I like the united-front approach to asking others to stand down.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working part time at a job I really like for about four months. Recently, I got another part-time job that I also like and that pays a lot better. My plan is to keep both jobs so I can cobble together enough money to do the things I like.

My problem is that the new job is way more demanding than I thought it would be, and I'm having a hard time juggling everything. Last week, I had to bail on my first job three days in a row. This week, I didn't come in one day, and I got so busy I forgot to call.

My boss is understanding, but I know I have to do something differently. What do you recommend? I don't want to quit either job. -- Stretched, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR STRETCHED: Communication is essential here. But before talking with your bosses, you need to be crystal clear about what you can and cannot do and what you would like to do if given the option.

Look carefully at your schedule. What is not working? Do you think things will settle down soon at your new job? Is the schedule fixed, or will it change? Do you think you can change your hours at your first job, possibly working less so that you have time for yourself in the midst of your busy workday? Figure out what makes sense for you, and evaluate whether it might make sense for your employers.

Next, apologize to your first boss for your absences and lateness. Acknowledge that you know that if you cannot do something, you should call and not just be a no-show. (That is enough to get you fired, by the way.)

Explain to your first boss what your schedule is like. Tell him or her that you would like to stay at the job, and ask if you can change the hours or days when you come in. By discussing this with your employer, you create the opportunity to work it out.

As much as you like the first job, it pays less than the second job and thus is where you should try to make changes. Perhaps a full-time opportunity will be available at the second job if and when you are ready to part ways with the first one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep getting solicitations for bank loans and other financial instruments at work. It's odd. I feel like they started right after I had a problem with the IRS.

How can I get them to stop? They come in email and regular mail. -- Hassled, Washington, D.C.

DEAR HASSLED: You can flag the emails as spam and ask your provider to block them. As far as regular mail, you can tear up the letters or write "return to sender" on them and put them back in the mail.

If you need financial support, go through a trusted institution or professional whom you know or who has been referred by someone you respect.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle asked me to help him write a book, and without a second thought, I said yes. My uncle was so excited that I agreed to help him, but I don't know the first step in writing a book. How can I help make my uncle's dream come true? -- Stepping Out on Faith, Chicago

DEAR STEPPING OUT ON FAITH: Good for you for agreeing to help your uncle. Make sure you tell him that this is an exercise of love and that although you will do your best, you are not a writer. You are a devoted family member, and you will do all that you can. You don't want him to think you are a miracle worker.

Going from an idea to a published book covers a vast terrain. You should read up on the format of books. There are many templates online for different styles of books and even for a book proposal. Based on the type of book your uncle wants to write, there will surely be a template you can follow.

You can help your uncle get his story out. Interview him and videotape or otherwise record him. You can transcribe his stories so that he can see what he has said.

If your uncle has never written a book, he may want to go the self-publishing route. A popular option these days is CreateSpace from Amazon.com.

Most important is to stay by your uncle's side and encourage him. Your research will lead you to options that can help him make his dream come true.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've had a crush on a girl for a few months. I spent a lot of time with her over the summer, although now we don't really hang out. We had a lot of fun hanging out, but she has a boyfriend, and had a boyfriend the whole summer.

I've tried to play it cool, but I miss hanging out with her and wish we could hang out without my feelings getting in the way. Should I tell her how I feel to get it off of my chest? -- Missing Her, Shreveport, La.

DEAR MISSING HER: Summer can sometimes feel like being in the movies. You have fun and time seems to be suspended. Perhaps that's why you didn't allow it to register that this girl had a boyfriend even then. Now that you are both back in your "real lives," the boyfriend is more obvious.

I'm sorry, but it's unlikely your friend is going to decide to choose you over her boyfriend. She would have done that already when she had the chance. Should you tell her your feelings? Unless you are prepared to walk away if she says she doesn't share your feelings, I say keep them to yourself and keep your distance for now. That seems to be what she is already doing.