DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working part time at a job I really like for about four months. Recently, I got another part-time job that I also like and that pays a lot better. My plan is to keep both jobs so I can cobble together enough money to do the things I like.

My problem is that the new job is way more demanding than I thought it would be, and I'm having a hard time juggling everything. Last week, I had to bail on my first job three days in a row. This week, I didn't come in one day, and I got so busy I forgot to call.

My boss is understanding, but I know I have to do something differently. What do you recommend? I don't want to quit either job. -- Stretched, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR STRETCHED: Communication is essential here. But before talking with your bosses, you need to be crystal clear about what you can and cannot do and what you would like to do if given the option.

Look carefully at your schedule. What is not working? Do you think things will settle down soon at your new job? Is the schedule fixed, or will it change? Do you think you can change your hours at your first job, possibly working less so that you have time for yourself in the midst of your busy workday? Figure out what makes sense for you, and evaluate whether it might make sense for your employers.

Next, apologize to your first boss for your absences and lateness. Acknowledge that you know that if you cannot do something, you should call and not just be a no-show. (That is enough to get you fired, by the way.)

Explain to your first boss what your schedule is like. Tell him or her that you would like to stay at the job, and ask if you can change the hours or days when you come in. By discussing this with your employer, you create the opportunity to work it out.

As much as you like the first job, it pays less than the second job and thus is where you should try to make changes. Perhaps a full-time opportunity will be available at the second job if and when you are ready to part ways with the first one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep getting solicitations for bank loans and other financial instruments at work. It's odd. I feel like they started right after I had a problem with the IRS.

How can I get them to stop? They come in email and regular mail. -- Hassled, Washington, D.C.

DEAR HASSLED: You can flag the emails as spam and ask your provider to block them. As far as regular mail, you can tear up the letters or write "return to sender" on them and put them back in the mail.

If you need financial support, go through a trusted institution or professional whom you know or who has been referred by someone you respect.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle asked me to help him write a book, and without a second thought, I said yes. My uncle was so excited that I agreed to help him, but I don't know the first step in writing a book. How can I help make my uncle's dream come true? -- Stepping Out on Faith, Chicago

DEAR STEPPING OUT ON FAITH: Good for you for agreeing to help your uncle. Make sure you tell him that this is an exercise of love and that although you will do your best, you are not a writer. You are a devoted family member, and you will do all that you can. You don't want him to think you are a miracle worker.

Going from an idea to a published book covers a vast terrain. You should read up on the format of books. There are many templates online for different styles of books and even for a book proposal. Based on the type of book your uncle wants to write, there will surely be a template you can follow.

You can help your uncle get his story out. Interview him and videotape or otherwise record him. You can transcribe his stories so that he can see what he has said.

If your uncle has never written a book, he may want to go the self-publishing route. A popular option these days is CreateSpace from Amazon.com.

Most important is to stay by your uncle's side and encourage him. Your research will lead you to options that can help him make his dream come true.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've had a crush on a girl for a few months. I spent a lot of time with her over the summer, although now we don't really hang out. We had a lot of fun hanging out, but she has a boyfriend, and had a boyfriend the whole summer.

I've tried to play it cool, but I miss hanging out with her and wish we could hang out without my feelings getting in the way. Should I tell her how I feel to get it off of my chest? -- Missing Her, Shreveport, La.

DEAR MISSING HER: Summer can sometimes feel like being in the movies. You have fun and time seems to be suspended. Perhaps that's why you didn't allow it to register that this girl had a boyfriend even then. Now that you are both back in your "real lives," the boyfriend is more obvious.

I'm sorry, but it's unlikely your friend is going to decide to choose you over her boyfriend. She would have done that already when she had the chance. Should you tell her your feelings? Unless you are prepared to walk away if she says she doesn't share your feelings, I say keep them to yourself and keep your distance for now. That seems to be what she is already doing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The holiday season is upon us, and this year has been an interesting one financially for me. I would like to send my family and my friends gifts, but I don't have the money. What are some creative ways I can give gifts without being embarrassed? -- Giving From the Heart, Hillside, N.J.

DEAR GIVING FROM THE HEART: Please don't feel compelled to spend money that you don't have. Being more broke will only compound the potential for embarrassment, which is not a path to happiness.

But you do have options. Go shopping among your things. Do you have a favorite book that one of your loved ones would appreciate? What about an article of clothing that could be a favored hand-me-down? An art object that would be perfect in someone else's home? Think about your loved ones and envision who might truly welcome such a gift.

A heartfelt note written to each of these people about the value of your relationship could be a wonderful gift that they will treasure for life. And an old standby for great cooks is to make something edible that your loved ones may enjoy. There is some expense to home-cooked gifts, so if you go that route, be sure to keep costs down.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a problem: My husband is not particularly fond of my hairy arms and legs. He told me a lady should never have "additional" body hair on her because it makes her less attractive.

It's wintertime and it is cold, and having additional hair on my arms and legs keeps me warm. But by refusing to shave, I'm running the risk of reducing the intimate moments with my husband (if you know what I mean).

Even though I've heard we are going to have a long winter, I'm having second thoughts about this additional body hair. Can you suggest some other ways I can keep warm? -- Hairy Situation, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR HAIRY SITUATION: Before you make a decision, you have to be clear about your reasons for removing your hair.

If warmth is truly the main issue, there are plenty of ways to keep warm other than body hair, such as thermal underwear, leggings and, for formal events, sheer hosiery. You can choose to wear clothing made out of warm fabrics such as wool and silk, shirts with long sleeves, long pants, etc.

You can stay warm, but there is another issue: How can you and your husband deal with the friction caused by your hairiness? You were hairy before you got married. It's odd that it has taken this long to be addressed.

If you are willing to try shaving, go to a professional to help you manage without getting hair bumps. It could be worth a try, if you are interested.