DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 21-year-daughter who is in culinary school. She is doing well, and she is looking forward to becoming a chef at a five-star restaurant.

I'm a 40-year-old single mother. I currently stay with my parents to save money while my daughter is in culinary school. She is expected to graduate in 2013, and I'm excited that she is nearly finished with school. I'm really looking forward to dating again, with the goal of being married.

I received an email from my daughter last week saying that she would like to stay in culinary school for an additional year. I support my daughter 100 percent, but I really want to start my life. What should I do? -- On Hold, Salt Lake City

DEAR ON HOLD: Talk to your daughter about tuition options. Perhaps she can get a scholarship or loan to complete school, without it being such a burden on you. Especially if she is a good student, there may be financial aid options that can ease your burden.

As far as your personal life goes, you don't have to put it on hold until your daughter completes school. If you want to date, go for it. I'm sure it's awkward living with your parents as an adult. But I bet you can negotiate "house rules" that give you more flexibility than you may currently have. You may not feel comfortable having "sleepovers," but if you are looking to get married, it's probably best to take it slow anyway.

The point here is that your life need not be on hold while your daughter's life is unfolding. Both of you can live and prosper.

By the way, if your daughter has to struggle a little to complete her studies, that may be a good thing. Oftentimes a bit of struggle helps people value what they have even more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a male friend of whom I have grown quite fond over the last three years. We have been inseparable, spending all of our free time together. Our mutual friends thought we were on the road to marriage.

To the surprise of many, he recently decided to see another woman. I'm happy for him -- honestly, I am. I learned a lot from spending time with him, though I thought we would be an item. I'm 27, and I met him when I was 24. I do not feel like I have wasted three years of my life. I'm a little heartbroken, but I will bounce back.

We are members of the same church, and I would like to know what I should say when I see him. -- It Wasn't Meant To Be, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE: I'm sorry this friend didn't choose you as his partner. It will hurt for a while, but the best you can do is to be gracious.

When you see him, say "hello" and keep moving. Don't linger. Realign yourself with other friends, but resist commiserating with them about him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently found out that a friend of mine has been displaced by Hurricane Sandy. She lost everything, including a beautiful beachfront home and two cars.

I finally got a chance to speak to her. She told me that she is looking for an apartment above sea level and that she is ready to start her life over. How can I help lift her spirits while she is in her time of transition? -- Concerned Friend, Far Rockaway, N.Y.

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: Your friend must be counting her blessings because she is alive, even though her belongings are gone. That is the right attitude, though it can be incredibly difficult for someone who has been overcome by such tragedy to stand in that space.

What you can do is stay in close touch with her. If she asks for help in visiting apartments or anything else, do your best to be available to support her. She may want to talk about what happened or what the future holds. Chances are, she could use a good friend who is a great listener. Do not bring up her loss. If she wants to talk about it, she will.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a single male who has been seeing a young lady for quite some time. We like each other, but I have some reservations about our relationship.

There is a rule that says you should not commit to a relationship during major holidays such as Christmas, Valentine's Day and Thanksgiving. I know this may sound bizarre, but I don't want to get into a serious relationship during the holiday season. I want to keep our relationship "title free," if you know what I mean. What do you think? -- Slightly Committed, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR SLIGHTLY COMMITTED: You are letting superstition get the best of you. You don't have to get down on one knee on any particular holiday if you don't want to. But also don't make the mistake of believing some "rule," whose origin you don't even know, for fear that the relationship will be jinxed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends I've been hanging with has shown me her true colors. All she does is complain about everyone and everything. I don't agree with her on any of it, but out of fear that she'll get upset, I keep quiet. We are in a group project together with another friend. Whenever we meet up, she is constantly shutting down our ideas and pointing out our weaknesses. I want to go about it gently because it is clear she has insecurity issues, but I don't even know where to begin. Help! It is becoming unbearable! -- Done, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR DONE: With the other partner on this project, sit down and talk to your friend. You can be clear and kind. Tell her that you are growing concerned about the way she interacts with the group. Point out that she is often negative and that she constantly complains. Suggest that you agree on a delineation of duties that will make it easier for everyone to get the work done without squabbling.

You cannot allow her to keep complaining because you're worried about her self-esteem. What about your own? By allowing her to walk all over you and your other partner, you are actually diminishing your own power, which erodes self-confidence. Tell her that if she wants to be on this team, she has to work harder at being a positive contributor to the work at hand.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a handsome guy for a few weeks. He is such a gentleman. We enjoy spending time with each other, and I can truly say that I'm finally happy. I think he's the one for me.

I asked my boyfriend if he would like to come to church with me. He told me that he works on Sundays, and I told him that going to church is very important to me and that he would have a great time.

A few weeks later, my boyfriend finally told me the reason he does not want to go to church with me. He does not believe in God, nor does he believe in organized religion.

I want to continue this relationship, and I don't know what to do. This is a tough decision, and I need your help. Whom do I choose? -- Torn, Chicago

DEAR TORN: This is one of the toughest situations to navigate. There are successful couples who do not share the same spiritual ideology or practice. I think, however, that they are the exception rather than the rule. Why? Because religious convictions tend to reflect the core values that people hold. When you have a partner and are serious about being together, you want to share values about the basics of life, which usually include faith.

Rather than walking away immediately, talk to your boyfriend about his beliefs and values. Share yours with him. Talk openly about your hopes and dreams for the future, including what you envision married life to be like. It's time for you to lay it out and ask him to do the same. Otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment and confusion based on a lack of understanding of who you both are.