DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has a wandering eye, and I need him to stop this behavior. Last week we went on a dinner date, and the moment we sat down in the restaurant, my husband's neck was on a swivel, turning from left to right. In walks a group of ladies, one of whom caught my husband's eye. The woman was shapely and gorgeous. They made eye contact and exchanged smiles. This made me furious, because I'm a very attractive woman as well, but I did not want to make a scene in the restaurant.

I'm getting tired of my husband's wandering eye. What should I say to him? -- Private Eyes, Detroit

DEAR PRIVATE EYES: Have you ever confronted your husband about this disrespectful behavior? It's definitely time to say something.

Remind him of your date and how he flirted with that woman. Tell him that his wandering eyes hurt your feelings. You believed that when he chose to marry you, he did so with a mind to be exclusive to you. Checking out women all the time, especially when he is supposed to be on a date with you, is rude and disrespectful. Ask him to stop.

Even if he agrees, know that your initial request won't be enough. Patterns are hard to break. So when you next notice that he's checking somebody else out, tap him and tell him he's doing it again. Ask him to stop.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two weeks ago, my next-door neighbor cursed out my daughter for talking and playing music way too loud at night. A few days later, this same neighbor proceeded to knock on my door and ask me if I could take her to the mall because her car didn't work. My neighbor cursed out my daughter, and now she wants me to take her to the mall!

I'm not too sure what to do. Should I honor her request and take her to the mall? -- Good Neighbor, St. Louis

DEAR GOOD NEIGHBOR: You missed a step. When your neighbor cursed out your daughter, you should have immediately talked to her -- and your daughter -- about it. Your daughter must learn to be conscious of other people when she's playing music loudly. You should agree on a time when music needs to be played more quietly and possibly even share your recommendation for that time with your neighbor. But your neighbor had no business cursing at your child. That needs to be addressed.

Tell your neighbor that you didn't appreciate her cursing at your daughter. If she has problems with your daughter's behavior, she should civilly come to you.

If you want to distance yourself from her, you could tell her that you need to cool off because she really upset you. Or, if after you address the situation with her you feel you can let it go, then give her a ride. But you have to deal with the elephant in the room first.

DEAR READERS: I want to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving! For weeks, American families have been preparing for this big day, when typically they come together to break bread and enjoy one another's company.

Years ago when this celebration took root, it represented gratitude for the harvest that farmers had grown and for the hard work it took for everyone to get to where they were at that moment. In the early days of our country, new Americans understood that you can take nothing for granted and that it is wise to be thankful for things both large and infinitesimally small.

I believe we are in a similar place today in our country. We have had so much unrest due to weather, the economy, the political machinations leading up to the presidential election and daily family ins and outs. For many of us, times have been challenging. When faced with ongoing challenge, people can fall into stress behavior without even realizing it. They can become short-tempered with the people they care about the most, dismissive and even mean.

A great antidote to slipping into that negative behavior is the age-old practice of counting your blessings -- literally. Instead of wallowing in negativity, at the moment you notice you may be feeling a little down, start writing a list. Write down the things that bring you joy -- like having a roof over your head (if you do), or the nice lady in your neighborhood who speaks sunnily to you every day, or the neighbor who always holds the door open when you enter your apartment building. If you are a parent, express your gratitude for a specific thing that you appreciate about your children, even if they can sometimes be difficult. Be grateful for your education; your job, even if it's not ideal; your warm coat, regardless of whether it is weathered; and so on.

I find that writing a gratitude list helps me to be more aware of the blessings in my life. If you will be spending time with family members, you may want to create a combined gratitude list, where everyone assembled lists things for which they can be grateful. This practice may help unearth wonderful stories about the past and present that may serve to heal old wounds or at least pass the time in a positive way. Consider having someone, possibly a teenager, videotape the storytelling so that you can create your own harvest of blessings that will be a keepsake for many Thanksgivings to come.

If you are alive, you have something to be grateful for. Be tender with yourself and your loved ones as you travel through your memory to claim the treasures that define your life. Regardless of what is tough for you now, bask in the knowledge that your life is valuable. Thanks to writing down these details about your life, you concretely know why.

DEAR HARRIETTE: During Hurricane Sandy, a friend moved in with me because he lives in an area that was greatly damaged. His apartment has no windows or power. He has been living with me for two weeks and will continue to stay with me until he gets his power back and windows repaired.

He is driving me crazy. I love the guy and want to help out, but I need some space. He hasn't respected my things, and his work hours are the opposite of mine, so he's always coming home late at night. He makes dinner (using my food!) and is loud and dirty. My apartment is small, and everything can be heard.

I want to be a good friend, since he doesn't have a place at the moment, but I didn't think he would be such a problem. I don't know if I can last another week with him. What do I do? -- Cramped, New York

DEAR CRAMPED: Rescuing your friend during this tragic time was a wonderful act of kindness and humanity. But being kind does not mean that you throw away house rules.

You need to have a talk with your friend about expectations in your home. Start by telling him that you have been happy to help him out, but that now you realize you need to lay out some guidelines for how you want him to act while he stays with you. Tell him that you want him to respect your things, and define what that means. If you don't want him to use certain items, say so. Tell him you expect him to contribute to the groceries. Also acknowledge that your place is small and that since your hours are different, you would appreciate him being quiet when he comes home from work so you can get your rest.

Ask how long he thinks he will be without power. You two may have to set a time limit on how long he can stay. Perhaps he can be with you a bit longer and then you can help him find another place to stay.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to expand my baby-sitting business. I haven't baby-sat for some families in a while because some have hired full-time nannies, or my schedule has not coordinated with their schedule. However, I am still available to do certain times and during the weekend.

If I were to call or write a letter to the families I have baby-sat for, asking them to recommend me to other families, how would I go about that? What should I say so they know I am not abandoning them? -- Expanding My Horizons, Flint, Mich.

DER EXPANDING MY HORIZONS: Call your former employers and tell them that you have the time and want to add more baby-sitting work. Ask them if they need any help. And ask them if they would write you a letter of recommendation that you can use to solicit jobs from other families.