DEAR READERS: I want to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving! For weeks, American families have been preparing for this big day, when typically they come together to break bread and enjoy one another's company.

Years ago when this celebration took root, it represented gratitude for the harvest that farmers had grown and for the hard work it took for everyone to get to where they were at that moment. In the early days of our country, new Americans understood that you can take nothing for granted and that it is wise to be thankful for things both large and infinitesimally small.

I believe we are in a similar place today in our country. We have had so much unrest due to weather, the economy, the political machinations leading up to the presidential election and daily family ins and outs. For many of us, times have been challenging. When faced with ongoing challenge, people can fall into stress behavior without even realizing it. They can become short-tempered with the people they care about the most, dismissive and even mean.

A great antidote to slipping into that negative behavior is the age-old practice of counting your blessings -- literally. Instead of wallowing in negativity, at the moment you notice you may be feeling a little down, start writing a list. Write down the things that bring you joy -- like having a roof over your head (if you do), or the nice lady in your neighborhood who speaks sunnily to you every day, or the neighbor who always holds the door open when you enter your apartment building. If you are a parent, express your gratitude for a specific thing that you appreciate about your children, even if they can sometimes be difficult. Be grateful for your education; your job, even if it's not ideal; your warm coat, regardless of whether it is weathered; and so on.

I find that writing a gratitude list helps me to be more aware of the blessings in my life. If you will be spending time with family members, you may want to create a combined gratitude list, where everyone assembled lists things for which they can be grateful. This practice may help unearth wonderful stories about the past and present that may serve to heal old wounds or at least pass the time in a positive way. Consider having someone, possibly a teenager, videotape the storytelling so that you can create your own harvest of blessings that will be a keepsake for many Thanksgivings to come.

If you are alive, you have something to be grateful for. Be tender with yourself and your loved ones as you travel through your memory to claim the treasures that define your life. Regardless of what is tough for you now, bask in the knowledge that your life is valuable. Thanks to writing down these details about your life, you concretely know why.

DEAR HARRIETTE: During Hurricane Sandy, a friend moved in with me because he lives in an area that was greatly damaged. His apartment has no windows or power. He has been living with me for two weeks and will continue to stay with me until he gets his power back and windows repaired.

He is driving me crazy. I love the guy and want to help out, but I need some space. He hasn't respected my things, and his work hours are the opposite of mine, so he's always coming home late at night. He makes dinner (using my food!) and is loud and dirty. My apartment is small, and everything can be heard.

I want to be a good friend, since he doesn't have a place at the moment, but I didn't think he would be such a problem. I don't know if I can last another week with him. What do I do? -- Cramped, New York

DEAR CRAMPED: Rescuing your friend during this tragic time was a wonderful act of kindness and humanity. But being kind does not mean that you throw away house rules.

You need to have a talk with your friend about expectations in your home. Start by telling him that you have been happy to help him out, but that now you realize you need to lay out some guidelines for how you want him to act while he stays with you. Tell him that you want him to respect your things, and define what that means. If you don't want him to use certain items, say so. Tell him you expect him to contribute to the groceries. Also acknowledge that your place is small and that since your hours are different, you would appreciate him being quiet when he comes home from work so you can get your rest.

Ask how long he thinks he will be without power. You two may have to set a time limit on how long he can stay. Perhaps he can be with you a bit longer and then you can help him find another place to stay.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to expand my baby-sitting business. I haven't baby-sat for some families in a while because some have hired full-time nannies, or my schedule has not coordinated with their schedule. However, I am still available to do certain times and during the weekend.

If I were to call or write a letter to the families I have baby-sat for, asking them to recommend me to other families, how would I go about that? What should I say so they know I am not abandoning them? -- Expanding My Horizons, Flint, Mich.

DER EXPANDING MY HORIZONS: Call your former employers and tell them that you have the time and want to add more baby-sitting work. Ask them if they need any help. And ask them if they would write you a letter of recommendation that you can use to solicit jobs from other families.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am doing a group project with my school about a store. My classmates and I were video-recording how people react to certain items. While doing our research, we recorded someone shoplifting. We didn't realize it till after the woman had left the store, but we have her face and the action clearly recorded. What we were doing isn't necessarily legal because we aren't a part of the store. Should we tell the store manager, or leave it be? -- Gotcha, New York

DEAR GOTCHA: It is your civic duty to share that videotape with the store manager. Go into the store with your group and ask to speak to the manager privately. Explain that your group was in the store working on a school project. Apologize for not informing the manager about your project earlier. Explain that you want to share the video footage with the store because you recorded an incident of shoplifting there.

Show the footage and give a copy to the store manager. It is likely that you will have to speak to the police and share your findings with them, too. The store should consider this a blessing. In the future, though, request permission in advance to conduct a study in a public or private setting outside of your home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt told me there is something going on in our extended family that will affect everyone. She says that it has to do with one particular family and that the news will come out in the next few months. She left me with a huge cliffhanger.

I know it's not my right to ask questions, but I am going insane thinking of every possible situation (death, cancer, divorce, etc.). Fear is taking over my thoughts. I can't wait any longer, and I don't know what to do. How can I make peace with this situation? -- Worried Niece, Cincinnati

DEAR WORRIED NIECE: I wonder why your aunt chose to give you such a cryptic message? I understand that some people feel that they have premonitions based on knowledge they think they have. But this presumed knowledge is often just that -- presumed.

On the other hand, your aunt may legitimately know some news that has yet to surface. If so, it was wrong of her to tease you with such an ominous prediction.

Go to your aunt and ask her what she is talking about. Tell her that you don't mean to pry, but you have been worried sick since your last conversation. Ask her directly if you should be concerned about a family member's health, safety or well-being. Suggest that if she doesn't want to share her suspicions with you, she may want to speak to one of your parents or another elder in the family.

If your aunt will not budge, tell one of your parents and ask for their guidance.